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This Page is in Memory of our Daughter.
Alexa Brianna Lawrence, Who passed away, due to Anencephaly.
She was our fourth child, and I had a very difficult time with the pregnancy. I had severe morning sickness...............
Then came the tragic day when we would lose her.
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I am 28 years old, my husband, Oliver and I have been married for 10 years, and we have 3 children.
Anthony is 10, Kaili (pronounced Kay-lee) is almost 7 and Sarah is 3.
I got pregnant in June 1999. From the day I concieved, I was really sick. I would vomit several times a day for the first two months. Since I was so sick, I had several ultrasounds done to see if everything was ok. The doctors diagnosed me with a bad case of morning sickness.
As the days went on I got worse, to the point of being sick every 10 minutes. I started to lose weight. More ultrasounds were performed and still, according to the doctor, everything looked and sounded great.
The baby's image was moving and sucking its thumb. It was wonderful to feel the baby move.
On October 12th 1999, I took Kaili to her soccer practice. After sitting on the grass and talking to other moms for an hour, I stood up and blood ran down my legs. I rushed home to call my doctor. My doctor was not on duty that night, so I had to talk to the doctor on call. It didn't seem like a big deal to him since he said "oh, you will probably miscarry, you can stay home......you'll be fine." The doctor also said that if the pain got too unbearable I should go to the emergency room.
My doctor works from the Sequoia Hospital, a catholic hospital where they will not interfere with Gods plan.
That night the pain became extreme and the bleeding got worse. Oliver checked me into the Sequoia Hospital emergency room just before 9:00pm. The doctors spent nearly 2hrs poking and prodding, running test after test and finally decided on an ultrasound.
We waited nearly an hour for the technician to arrive and do the ultrasound. Another hour had passed and about 100 different photographs were taken. Finally the chief radiologist arrives to make the final decision. He spends 5 minutes analyzing the photographs and the baby's image on the computer screen, then has a brief discussion with the technician. The technician returned to the room after talking with the doctors. She was teary eyed and in a soft voice said, "you guys take care."
The ultrasound is complete and it is time to go back to our room in the emergency ward. Shortly after getting settled back into our room, several doctors and nurses were coming and going without saying a thing.
It is now 12:30am and the doctor enters the room and asks "Have you been extremely sick during the whole pregnancy?" "yes" I replied. The doctor continued by explaining his discussion with the chief radiologist. They found an abnormally sized cranium, which led them to their conclusion.
"Your baby has anencephaly." said the doctor. He went on telling us about anencephaly and the outcome. The bleeding was to continue anywhere from one day to two weeks before I would miscarry. Labor had already started and he advised that I see my doctor first thing in the morning. Later that morning on Oct. 13th 1999, I went to my doctor, Dr. John D. Hoff. Dr. Hoff has instilled my utmost confidence in him-he is the best.
Dr Hoff discussed what he had learned from the emergency room records and performed yet another ultrasound and exam. He explained that it was out of his hands. I had two choices. Choice number one: Let the bleeding continue until miscarriage. This endangered my life and could keep me hospitalized up to two weeks with blood infusions. Choice number two: See a specialist that has experience with cases like this. We chose number two. Dr.Hoff referred me to a specialist and set up an appointment that day.
On October 14th, 1999 the baby's heart stopped and I was put to sleep at Stanford University Hospital. The doctors delivered her by forceps. They took her away, and being a University hospital, they performed all kinds of tests on the dead fetus. Oliver requested that we have closing time with the baby. When I came to, we asked to hold her. They said " We didn't think you wanted to hold her or see her in the deformed state." they continued with "We're sorry for your loss."
We named her Alexa Brianna Lawrence. Alexa weighed in at about 1lb and was 11 inches long. I arranged to have a service for alexa with Lima Family Mortuary. We were allowed as much closing time as needed. After the Mortuary received Alexa, they placed her in what they felt was appropriate for the situation. Alexa was being placed in a square container wrapped with a burgandy velvet bag. We were then allowed to have our time with her. I cried and cried..........for hours.
She was cremated one week later. |
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