FERENGI RULES OF ACQUISITION
Business philosophy. "The Sacred precepts upon which all Ferengi society is
based." Children are taught the Rules of Acquisition and made to memorize
them at a young age. Even though females may not acquire profit, many know
the Rules of Acquisition anyway.
- Quark, Son of Keldar
Legends of the Ferengi
3. Never pay more for an acquisition
than you have to.
Legends
of the Ferengi
6. Never allow family to stand in
the way of opportunity.
Legends
of the Ferengi
7. Keep your ears open! Legends of the Ferengi
8. Small print leads to large risk. Legends of the Ferengi
9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit. Legends of the Ferengi
10. Greed is Eternal. Legends of the Ferengi
13. Anything worth selling is worth doing for money. Legends of the Ferengi
16. A deal is a deal..........until a better one comes along. Legends of the Ferengi
17. A contract is a contract is
a contract......but only between Ferengi.
Legends
of the Ferengi
18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all. Legends of the Ferengi
19. Satisfaction is not guaranteed. Legends of the Ferengi
21. Never place profit above friendship. (Profit Motive)
22. Latinum tarnishes, but family is forever. (Profit Motive)
23. Money can never replace dignity. (Profit Motive)
27. There is nothing more dangerous
than an honest businessman.
Legends
of the Ferengi
31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's
mother.....insult something he cares about instead.
Legends
of the Ferengi
33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss. Legends of the Ferengi
34. War is good for business. Legends of the Ferengi
35. Peace is good for business. Legends of the Ferengi
40. She can touch your lobes, but never your latinum. Legends of the Ferengi
41. Profit is its own reward. Legends of the Ferengi
44. Never confuse wisdom with luck. Legends of the Ferengi
47. Never trust a man wearing a
better suit than your own.
Legends of the Ferengi
48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife. Legends of the Ferengi
52. Never ask when you can take. Legends of the Ferengi
57. Good customers are as rare as
latinum ---treasure them.
Legends
of the Ferengi
58. There is no substitute for success. Legends of the Ferengi
59. Free advice is seldom cheap. Legends of the Ferengi
60. Keep your lies consistent. Legends of the Ferengi
62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit. Legends of the Ferengi
65. Win or lose, there is always Hupyrian beetle snuff. Legends of the Ferengi
75. Home is where the heart is...........but
stars are made of latinum.
Legends
of the Ferengi
76. Every once in awhile, declare
peace....it confuses the hell out of your enemies.
Legends
of the Ferengi
79. Beware of the Vulcan greed for
knowledge.
Legends
of the Ferengi
82. The flimsier the product, the
higher the price.
Legends
of the Ferengi
85. Never let the competition know
what you are thinking.
Legends
of the Ferengi
89. Ask not what your profits can
do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
Legends
of the Ferengi
94. Females and finances don't mix. Legends of the Ferengi
95. Expand.....or die. Legends of the Ferengi
96. For every Rule, there is an
equal and opposite Rule (except when
there's
not). Rules of Aquisition
97. Enough....is never enough. Legends of the Ferengi
98. Every man has his price. "In the Pale Moonlight"
99. Trust is the biggest liability of all. Legends of the Ferengi
102. Nature decays, but latinum is forever. Legends of the Ferengi
103. Sleep can interfere with.............(insert
favorite activity)
"Rules of Acquisition"
104. Faith moves mountains...............of inventory. Legends of the Ferengi
106. There is no honor in poverty. Legends of the Ferengi
109. Dignity and an empty sack...... is worth the sack. Legends of the Ferengi
111. Treat people in your debt like family.......exploit them. Legends of the Ferengi
112. Never have sex with the boss's sister. Legends of the Ferengi
113. Always have sex with the boss. Legends of the Ferengi
119. Never judge a customer by the size of his wallet. "Who Mourns for Morn"
121. Everything is for sale, even friendship. Legends of the Ferengi
123. Even a blind man can recognize
the glow of latinum.
Legends of the Ferengi
125. You can't make a deal if you dead. "The Siege of AR-558"
139. Wives serve, brothers inherit. Legends of the Ferengi
141. Only fools pay retail. Legends of the Ferengi
144. There is nothing wrong with
charity...so long as it winds up in your pocket.
Legends of the Ferengi
162. Even in the worst of times, someone makes a profit. Legends of the Ferengi
168. Whisper your way to success..
"Treachery and the Great RIver"
177. Know your enemies.........do
business with them always.
Legends of the Ferengi
181. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit. Legends of the Ferengi
189. Let others keep their
reputation..........you keep their latinum.
Legends of the Ferengi
190. Hear all, trust nothing. "A Call to Arms"
192. Never cheat a klingon.....unless
you can get away with it.
Legends of the Ferengi
194. It's always good business to
know your customers before they walk in
the door. Legends of the Ferengi
202. The justification of profit, is profit. Rules of Aquisition
203. New customers are like
razor-tooth greeworms. They can be succulent,
but sometimes they bite back. Legends of
the Ferengi
208. Sometimes the only things
more dangerous than the answer is the question.
"Ferengi Love Songs"
211. Employees are the rungs
on the ladder of success....don't hesitate to step
on them. Legends of the Ferengi
214. Never begin a business
negotiation on an empty stomach.
Legends of the Ferengi
217. You can't free fish from water. Legends of the Ferengi
223. Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox. Legends of the Ferengi
229. Latinum lasts longer than lust. Legends of the Ferengi
236. You can't buy fate. Legends of the Ferengi
239. Never be afraid to mislabel a product. Legends of the Ferengi
242. More is good...........all is better. Legends of the Ferengi
255. A wife is a luxury.........a
smart accountant a necessity.
Legends of the Ferengi
261. A wealth man can afford anything
except a conscience.
Legends of the Ferengi
263. Never allow doubt to tarnish
your lust for latinum.
Legends of the Ferengi
266. When in doubt, lie. Legends of the Ferengi
284. Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi. Legends of the Ferengi
285. No good deed ever goes unpunished. Legends of the Ferengi
286. When Morn leaves, it's all over. "House of Quark" Created by Quark.
299. Whenever you exploit someone, it never hurts
to thanks them. (That
way,
it's easier to exploit them the next time.) Neelix
"False Profits"
