Dwarf Trek the Motion Picture NEW!
WWF's "THE ROCK" meets Voyager
Star Trek TNG Meets Aurther Dent
STAR TREK The Next Generation Meets RED DWARF
Hitchhikers Guide to Star Trek the Next Generation
Park Trek: South Park done Star Trek style
Monty Pythons Flying Starhip: a short story where TNG goes LOONEY.
Enterprise 1701-D Meets Battlestar Galactica
Have a nice idea for a crossover story? Send it here!
WWF's
The ROCK meets Voyager
(many thanks to Eminence)
Janeway [curtly, through compressed lips]: "The aliens want to
negotiate our surrender, but I'll not compromise the safety of this
ship and its crew ..."
Rock: "It doesn't matter what they want! Where's a jabroni?" [points
to Kim] "There's a jabroni! Jabroni, open a channel!"
Kim: "Captain?"
Janeway: "Do it."
Alien Commander: "Well? Have you decided to surren-"
Rock: "Know your damned role and shut your damned mouth! Now the Rock
says this: you warp in here to the Rock's sector, fire your weapons
at
the Rock's ship, and demand the Rock's surrender? Do you expect the
Rock to think you have the testicular fortitude to go one-on-one with
the Great One? Well, the Rock says this: the Rock says that what you
should do is take your entire 33-pound, bump-encrusted,
nostrils-where-your-molars-ought-to-be-head, roll it down what passes
for your spine, turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight
up
your candy ass!"
Janeway [sharply]: "Rock! You cannot speak that way to-"
Rock [cuts her off with the People's Eyebrow]: "Captain Janeway, what
do you drink for breakfast on this ship?"
Janeway [startled]: "Um, coffee."
Rock: "Do you serve it hot?"
Janeway [wistfully]: "Yes, hot and steaming."
Rock: "Up here, or in the Mess Hall?"
Janeway: "In the Mess Hall."
Rock: "Well, the Rock says why don't you steam your ass down to the
Mess Hall and leave the diplomacy to the Rock!" [to aliens] "Now then,
the Rock says this: you ignorant sacks of monkey crap have five
minutes-and the Rock means-"
Kim & Paris: "FIVE MINUTES!"
Rock: "-to get your candy asses turned around, or the Rock's gonna
slap whatever extraterrestrial monkey piss that passes for your brains
right out of your heads, and check you straight into the Smackdown
Hotel! If you smellalalalalalalala what the Rock-"
Kim [excitedly]: "Is cook-"
Rock [spinning around]: "Don't you EVER do that again." [turning back
to viewscreen] "... is cookin'."
Picard: "I'm a lumberjack and I'm
okay. I sleep all night and I work all day! I cut down
trees, I skip and jump, I like
to press wild flowers. I put on women's clothing,
and hang around in bars!"
Riker: "I like traffic lights, I
like traffic lights, I like traffic lights, I like traffic lights, I like
traffic
lights, I li- Oh, God..."
Worf: "We must extract the information
from this unbeliever under pain of torture!
GET... THE COMFY CHAIR!!!"
Data: "This parrot it no more! It
has ceased to be! He's run down the curtain and joined the
bleedin' choir! This... is an ex-parrot!"
Laforge: "And now for something completely different."
Crusher: "Yeah, we deal wit' stiffs.
Now, there's t'ree t'ings we can do wit yer mum:
bury 'er, burn 'er, or dump 'er in the Thames."
Troi: "Yes, well that's the sort
of blinkered, phillistine pig-ignorance I've come to expect
from you non-creative garbage. You sit there on your loathsome spotty
behinds,
not caring a tinker's cuss for the struggling artist! You excrement! You
whining
hypocritical toadies with your color TV sets and your expensive golf clubs
and your
bleedin' Starfleet secret handshakes! You wouldn't
let me join, would you, you
black-balling bastards! I wouldn't become a Starfleet officer
if you went down on
your lousy, stinking knees and begged me!!!"
::pant, pant::