This is our premium model Keeper/Companion.

This model requires no bloodwork before hookup. Just go to sleep and let our highly trained staff do the rest. In addition: During the procedure, you may elect to use our wide selection of dream tapes, including the latest hit movie 'Alien Resurrection' [Known to our staff as 'Ripley's Lament']. Pricing of this model varies from direct outlet purchase price = @400,000 credits, to wholesale chain stores, ie; 'Babylon-5 Implant Boutique', at a cost to you of only - @402,000 in adjusted credits. Ain't he/she/it adorable though?

Presenting the 'Hell Slug' Model!

This is one of our imported models from the 'Groghem Cluster'! Versatile, durable, willing, strong willed, ect; (Teach this little fella to be friendly, courteous & kind & he can double as a boy scout!) The 'Hell Slug' was designed to fill the gift vacuum for those 'hard to buy for' relatives and friends, ya know, the ones you got a grudge against! Take it from me people (Or whatever you are), you will be remembered for years to come when you give this model as a gift at only @350,000 credits per. What a cutie pie!!

Monster in the Closet Model!

This handy little Keeper mutation was developed by one of our technicians who needed to teach his 'problem' child respect for authority figures. So we decided, hey!,..there's a lot of brats out there who deserve, ummmmm, we mean, would love and benefit from this adorable 'father figure' companion. The 'Monster in the Closet Model' comes equiped with the primary directive of 'force brushing your child's teeth', after every meal, honest! With up to 14 more programable directives, a bargain at @340,000 credits. (Inc. shp & hndl) Now I ask ya, ain't this little fella just the sweetest thing, though?

How to apply for your Keeper/Companion:

Print out the form below & answer the following questionnaire in triplicate. Fax your completed form to : ['Keeper Placement Services Inc.', 369 Got you Under My Skin Blvd., Minion City, Symbiot Planet, Beta Centauri.]

>(1). Do you consume alcoholic beverages? YES______NO______OTHER________

>(2). If yes, do you imbibe for medicinal, social, or 'gettin through the day' quantities?

>(3).Do you suffer from pressure (Contact) allergies? YES____NO____None of your buisness!_____________________OTHER_____________________

>(4).Do you have any connections at Babylon-5 Station? YES____NO____ [If yes: Describe who and how! If no: Can you get any connections?]

>(5).Are you fond of creepy crawlies? YES____NO____

>(6). What is your neck size?______________

>(7). Are you prone to hickies? YES____NO____

>(8). What is your psi ressistance threshold?______________

>(9). Do you sing in the shower? YES____NO____ [* Answer does not affect eligibility. We are just nosey.]

> (10). What is your planet of origin?__________ [Birth sign?______]

>Depending upon answers to above questions, you may already be eligible for your free fitting. Be lonely no more!! ACT NOW!!

~Testimonial~

"A Happy Customer"

Well, my heart was in the right place, but I just wasn't getting anywhere in life. A miserable ambassadorial post, day after day, gettin nowhere! Then, one day at the 'Burnen Love Lounge', downbelow, on the B-5 station, a minion bought me a drink. We became friends, ya know what I'm talken? Then one holiday, I think it was the 'Annual Kill A Narn' festival, my good buddy 'Mel the Minion' bought me my very own Keeper!! The rest is history, man! Look at me now!

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