Deep Space Nine
Yes that's right. It's time to shine a new light on America's number one Star Trek spin-off.
Deep Space Nine
"Welcome to Deep Space Nine. Don't forget to check out the freak changeling."
I think the space station is bitching. It's such a refreshing change from those ugly saucer-shaped Federation ships and stations. I also like the way it kicked ass when that Klingon fleet tried to take it in the begining of season four. It's a place of merryment and oddities. While there visit "Quarks." Don't forget to insult the bartender, accuse him of a crime, get him arrested, and watch him get of scott-free because a certain security officer considers him a game for his amusement.
U.S.S. Defiant
(The Defiant once again risks its crew and the Alpha quadrant to go on another perilous mission."Do you wan't fries with that?"
I like this ship! It's got a cloaking device and enough firepower to destroy a small moon. Too bad it's never used properly. First, The Defiant was brought to DS9 to defend the Station from the Dominion. All of a sudden Sisko and his merry band pile in and go joyriding. Sometimes I wonder who is left behind to command the station while the entire bridge crew (or ops crew if you will) leave on another humorous adventure. Finnaly, when there's a mission that requires the Defiant, the crew pile in a runabout. Of course, if they took the Defiant their chances of being captured are considerably less. I think they should rename the Defiant to the U.S.S. Senunu.
Captain Benjamin Sisko
"Has anyone seen my scalp wax?"
Ben in my opinion is cool.
"Use the Farce, Puke!"
No. Not that Ben.
Ben actully takes risks. He also keeps most of his underlings in control. With the exception of Dax and his son. The only thing that sucks about him is that he shaved his head. If I was Sisko I would try to distance myself as far as possible from Picard. Personaly, I think Rick Bergman has a soft spot for baldness in Star Trek. Consider this, Picard is bald, Kirk has a toupee, Sisko is now bald, and finnaly the Doctor is bald (I know. He's not the head honcho, but I don't think Janeway is going to join the "Bald is beutiful!" club anytime soon.)
Avid writer, Jake Sisko
It's good to see a good writer in Star Trek. (Hahahahahahahahah!) It's a strange paradox when a bad writer creates a ficticious good writer. They are going to have to prove it to me! Jake all of a sudden becomes a writer overnight! Sure, and i'm Captain Crunch of the U.S.S. Lollipop (a good ship.)
Commander Kira Nerys
(Damm! check out that neck! Relative of ET?)
Kira is an odd one indeed. I like her because she is an uncaring terrorist who will kill anyone who fucks around with her. I also like her because she doesn't take crap from the Federation. However, The writers of DS9 like to throw her at unaccesible men. Take Vedic Berile (please.) When she finnaly gets him he dies! (thanks to that bitch Kai Wynn) And now she is with Shakkar. "What are your predictions Bitmap?"
Well I think either Shakkar will die or will dump her for some bitch.
Lt. Commander Judzia Dax
(I wonder if that slug would vaporize if she ate salt.)
Ahh Judzia!(easily perverted into Juggzia) I don't like her. She thinks she's a God because she's several hundred years old. And what's with the spots? Has the makeup department at Paramount run out of ideas for aliens? Good thing Bashir isn't a psycopath or Dax, the little tease, would be dead long ago.
Doctor Julian Bashir
(James Bond he ain't)
I guess he's ok. In the begining of the series he was an obnoxious, pompous, and condensating Limey.(Have you met one who wasn't? God save the queen!) He has gotten better in the latter seasons. Also, this is the first Star Trek character with a british accent who actuly comes from Great Britain. (Jeaun-Luc has such a nice proper english accent for a frenchman. Don't you think?)
Cheif Engineer Miles O'Brien
"Hi! i'm Brak! Look at me!"
I like O'Brien. Those bastards at Starfleet should promote him to at least Ensign. And don't say he can't be an officer because he didn't go to the Academy. It is possible in the past, the present, and the future. "What's Bitmap Talking about?" The military can pull a non-commisioned officer "Out of the ranks" With Miles's record he should of been promoted long ago.
Keiko O'Brien
Man! She is an obnoxious bitch! Every episode she gets into a fight with Miles for some stuiped reason. No wonder Miles buddy buddied with Bashir when she left for in third season. The only problem was that she came back.
Lt. Commander Worf
"Watch where your pointing that thing, Macrobrain!"
I don't know why he came to DS9. Even more intriguing is what does he do on DS9? The show doesn't make this clear, yet it's simple. Michael Dorn owns a Shooting Star combat jet. Looks like the price of high test Kerosine is on the rise. And what ever hapened to Troi? I guess Worf gave her an example of Klingon mating practices and she spent several weeks in sickbay.
Station Security Officer Odo
(Once again the directors decided to use Odo to fill blank space.)
I don't Know why Odo puts up with everyone. Even more intresting is why hasn't he put Quark into jail three seasons ago? Every episode he is treated like shit by everyone but his closest freinds. If I was him i'd blow up DS9 and go back home to the Dominion.
Bar owner, Quark
(Once again Quark is content with the thought that he stold his daily quota of candy from the station's children.)
I actuly like Quark. It's refreshing to see an anti-establishment character in the Star Trek universe. I also think the Ferengi facial prostetic is the most original alien face the makeup department at Paramount will ever churn out. He must be a genius to get arrested for serious crimes and get away scott-free by next episode.
Quarks bro, Rom
(Rom is the meat, once again!)
Rom is a fucking idiot. Only late in the series has he shown any balls. Every episode before the fourth series Rom played the middleman in all of Quarks hair-brained schemes. How can he be such a wimp with lobes like that?
Rom's son and Starfleet Cadet, Nog
(Four out of five retards use Pepsodent! Look at this kid's wonderfull smile for the proof!)
I could never stand Nog. Every episode he just got more grating. I personaly think he is Nelix's secret love child. Now that he is a cadet in the Academy he has got worse.
Tailor/ Spy, Garek
"EVIL.. EVIL..!"
Garek's my personal favorite. Q could take some Evil lessons from him! He would betray everyone he knows to get ahead. He would do well in Menzonberanza. He probably could even mastermind Drizzt's horrible death.