Mulderisms and Scullyisms

Pilot

Mulder: "No one down here but the FBI's most unwanted!"

Mulder: "So, who did you tick off to get stuck with this detail, Scully?"

Mulder: "Oh, isn't it nice to be suddenly so highly regarded."

Mulder: "That's why they put the I in FBI."

Mulder: "You gotta love this place, every day's like Halloween."

Deep Throat

Scully: "Just because I can't explain what I saw, doesn't mean I'm going to believe they were UFO's."
Mulder: "Unidentified Flying Objects. I think that fits the description pretty well. Tell me I'm crazy."
Scully: "Mulder. You're crazy."

Mulder: "If we ignore them, do you think they'll go away?"

Squeeze

Scully: "Is this what it takes to climb the ladder, Colton?"
Colton: "All the way to the top."
Scully: "Then I can't wait until you fall off and land on your ass."

The Jersey Devil

Scully: "Working hard, Mulder?"
Mulder: (indicating to centerfold) "This woman claims to have been taken aboard a space ship and held in an anti-gravity chamber without food and water for three days."
Scully: (Looking sideways at magazine) "Antigravity's right."

Scully: "Mulder, where are you? The drunk tank?"

Mulder: "Don't you have a life Scully?"
Scully: "Keep it up Mulder and I'll hurt you like that beast-woman."

Ghost in the Machine

Mulder: "You mean I'm not a pain in the ass to work with?"

Shadows

Scully: "Psycho-kenisis? You mean how Carrie got even at the prom?"

Mulder: "You may be right."
Scully: "Wait. You think *I'm* right?"

Ice

Mulder: "Bring your mittens."

Scully: "Mulder! You may not be who you are!"

Mulder: "Before anyone passes judgement, may I remind you, we are in the artic."

Fallen Angel

Mulder: "That's a lot of firepower just to protect Mother Nature."

Eve

Scully: "That's over four liters of blood."
Mulder: "Could say the guy was running on empty."

Mulder: "I'll tell you what, I'm gonna sleep on it and we'll talk about it in the morning."
Scully: "Mulder, you're rushing me out of the room."
Mulder: "No I'm not."
Scully: "Do you have a girl coming over?"
Mulder: "What's a girl? I...I've got a movie I want to watch on T.V..Sleep tight, I'll see ya in the morning."

Fire

Scully: "Mulder, you just keep unfolding like a flower."

Beyond the Sea

Scully: "Last time you were that engrossed it turned out you were reading the adult video news."

Scully: "Mulder, do I detect a since of skepticism."

Genderbender

Scully: "There's something up there, Mulder."
Mulder: "Well, I've been saying that for years."

E.B.E.

Scully: "The truth is out there, but so are lies."

Scully: "Those are the most paranoid people I have ever met. I don't know how you could think that what they say is remotely plausible."
Mulder: "I think its remotely plausible that someone might think you're hot."

Darkness Falls

Mulder: "C'mon, Scully. It'll be a nice trip to the forest."

Erlenmeyer Flask

Scully: "If this is monkey pee, you're on your own."

Scully: "I should know by now to trust your instincts."
Mulder: "Why? Nobody else does."

Little Green Men

Mulder: "No! Jorge. Don't touch that red button... nojo on the rojo."

The Host

Scully: "Mind if I sit here?"
Mulder: "I have to warn you, I'm having violent impulses."
Scully: "I'm armed. I'll take my chances."

Firewalker

Mulder: "I'm gonna go find Trepkos."
Scully: "What if he's already dead?"
Mulder: "Then he'll have a tough time answering my questions."

One Breath

Melissa Scully: "Why is it so dark in here?"
Mulder: "Because the lights aren't on."

Mulder: "I brought you something... Superstars of the Superbowl."
Scully: "I knew there was a reason to live."

Excelsius Dei

Mulder: "Whatever tape you found in that VCR isn't mine."
Scully: "Good, because I put it back in that drawer with all those other videos that aren't yours."

Patient: "I've got plumbing older than this building, and it don't work much better, either!" (Opens towel to provide a view)
Mulder: "Thank you for sharing."

Scully: "What do you think, Mulder?"
Mulder: "About the guy's plumbing?"

Die Hand Die Verletz

Scully: "Mulder, toads just fell from the sky!" -Scully, Die Hand Die Verletzt

Colony

Scully: "What ever happened to trust no one?" Mulder: "I changed it to trust everyone. Didn't I tell you?"

Humbug

Mr. Nutt: "I've taken in your all-American features, your dour demeanor, your unimaginative necktie design, and concluded you work for the government. An FBI Agent. But do you see the tragedy here? I have mistakenly reduced you to a stereotype. A caricature. Instead of regarding you as a specific, unique individual."
Mulder: "But I am an FBI agent."
Mr. Nutt: "You'd be surprised how many women find my size intriguingly alluring."
Mulder: "You'd be surprised how many men do as well."
(Mulder falls on Dr. Blockhead's bed of nails)
Scully: "Mulder! Are you okay?"
Mulder: "It's more comfortable than a futon."

Anasazi

Mulder: "Are you familiar with the Ten Commandments, Scully?"
Scully: "You want me to recite them?"
Mulder: "Just number four. The one about obeying the Sabbath? The part where God made Heaven and Earth but didn't bother to tell anybody about his *side* projects?"
Scully: "Where did you get this?"
Mulder: "Your friendly neighborhood anarchist."
(Cancer Man and Mulder on the phone, after Mulder has recovered from being drugged.)
Cancer Man: "Where are you?"
Mulder: "The Betty Ford Center. Where're you?"

Paper Clip

Frohike: "Unbelievable! We thought you were history!"
Mulder: "You're gonna have to wait a little longer for my video collection, Frohike."
Scully: "What do you think your father would have been doing here?"
Mulder: "I don't know...but he never came home wearing a miner's cap."
Scully: "What do you think?"
Mulder: "I think I'd like to try door number *one*, Monty."
Mulder: "Lots of files."
Scully: "Lots and *lots* of files."

D.P.O.

Scully: "So what? Are we supposed to charge him with assaulting a cellular phone?"

Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose

(The Stupendous Yappi has ordered Mulder out of the room.)
FBI agent #1: "Agent Mulder, please."
Scully: "I can't take you anywhere..."
(Clyde is looking at Mulder's badge.) Clyde: "You expect me to believe that's a real name?"

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