"Double Trouble"
An alternative reality fanfic written by MmeFleiss.
All characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi.
-kun is added to the name if the character is in cursed boy form
-chan is added to the name if the character is in cursed girl form
< > are thoughts
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Chapter 6
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Ranma looked up from his bento in alarm as a loud, thudding
noise emanated from a nearby wall. Cracks began to appear on it and
he barely managed to jump away before something that looked like a
giant mike landed on the table he had been sitting on.
The owner of said object, a pretty Chinese girl with purple
hair, looked around the room suspiciously while yelling, " Ranma, I
kill!"
All heads swiveled in his direction much to his chagrin, and
he was about to bolt when he noticed that the girl was heading
towards an unsuspecting Akane.
Ranma's eyes widened as he remembered that he had met the
amazon as a girl. Thinking quickly(well, for him; so this took a
couple of minutes. Fortunately, the Chinese girl's advance was
hindered by the boys trying to grope her.) he yelled,"Hey, isn't
that Andrew Lloyd Webber at the front gate?"
The amazon quickly did an about face. "Where? Where? Shampoo
been looking for him, too!"
Ranma pointed at the door. He waited until she was well on her
way before he grabbed Akane's hand and dragged her towards the
opposite direction.
After a couple of blocks, he figured they were safe for the
moment and they made their way towards the dojo in the pouring rain.
"You mind telling me what that was all about?!" the bewildered
Akane-kun demanded.
"Well, it all began not too long after we got away from
Jusenkyo..."
FLASHBACK
*********
The Jusenkyo guide was still cringing in pain as he made his
way towards the nearest Amazon village with his two customers.
The pony-tailed boy turned girl glared at him as she followed
his father towards the center of the village where the yearly
contest was being held.
By the time the guide managed to crawl using his left arm(the
only limb not broken) he found that he was too late in preventing
the two martial artists from eating the first prize.
The winner of the contest, Shampoo, quickly noticed that her
prize was gone, so she demanded that Ranma-chan go against her to
see if she was worthy of the prize she stole.
With a shrug, Ranma-chan nodded and leapt up to the platform.
Confidently flipping her long, purple hair to the side,
Shampoo's eyes glinted as she went in for the kill.
o/~See. . . my. . . chest
See my chest
They're much larger than the rest! o/~
Ranma-chan's eyes widened in alarm as she heard the other girl
sing a song in english to the tune of "Be My Guest." Not to be
outdone, she grabbed the mike and began to sing the only translated
version of a japanese song that she knew.
o/~Yappa paa, yappa paa, don't know what to do
My heart is not a game. . .
It's mah-jongg to you. o/~
o/~Everybody wants a cheap feel
Because they don't
Want nothing less! o/~ Shampoo cut in.
o/~Yappa paa, yappa paa, feel like such a shrew
Who needs boys? Don't you dare. . .
Make me wild like you. o/~ Ranma-chan sang, cutting off
Shampoo before she could get to the good part.
The judge, who looked amused by their antics, clapped her
hands to stop them. "I think it's quite clear who the winner is."
Both girls smiled smugly, confident that they had sang better
than the other.
"Shampoo is obviously the best choice."
"What?!" the outraged Ranma-chan screeched, her hands flailing
as she glared at the judge. "How? My song was sing-along-able(tm)."
"Yeah, but the lyrics stunk!"
Ranma-chan was about to argue some more when her flapping arms
encountered two soft mounds. She froze and slowly turned around,
facing Shampoo's rather impressive chest.
END OF FLASHBACK
****************
Ranma-chan's narrative quickly came to an end as Akane-kun
smacked her on the head with a mike from a nearby karaoke bar.
"You felt her up?!" Akane-kun screamed, doing arguably the
best impersonation of The Voice of Doom on the eastern hemisphere.
It was, unfortunately, lost on Ranma-chan since her ears were still
ringing from the blow to the head.
The barely recovered Ranma-chan then looked up just in time to get
hit by the umbrella in Shampoo's other hand.
"Is true," Shampoo wailed, "She touch Shampoo's pride and joy,
which in village is worse shame than death. Only way Shampoo can
go back now is to kill!"
"I don't believe you!" Akane-kun yelled at Ranma-chan. "Taking
advantage of the poor girl like that."
"Didn't you hear a word I said? I tripped! You think I'd
*want* to touch her chest?"
"What's wrong with Shampoo's chest?" the Chinese girl demanded.
Ranma-chan backed away nervously. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."
"So you *did* want to feel her up."
"No!" Ranma-chan tried to run off, knocking Akane-kun off
balance and causing him to fall on top of Shampoo--with his hand on
her chest.
"Shit." Akane-kun looked up with trepidation, trying his best
to be optimistic by thinking of the least painful ways to die.
Saying that he was surprised would be an understatement when
Shampoo wrapped her slender arms around him, squealing, "Husband!"
"What?!" Ranma-chan and Akane-kun demanded in unison.
"Is Amazon custom. If female outsider feels up Amazon, Amazon
must kill; but if male outsider feels up Amazon, then Amazon must
marry. Why, Shampoo's grandfather, Happossai, has many wives
because he is greatest pervert on earth. Just last year he married
five. . ."
"Okay, okay. No need to tell us your whole life story,"
Akane-kun interrupted. "How exactly do you expect to kill him and
get me to marry you?"
She shrugged. "Shampoo don't know yet. Shampoo stay here until
think of a plan."
"Oh."
"What do you plan to do while you're here?" Ranma-chan thought
aloud. "Are you going to open a Chinese restaurant?"
"What, you think Chinese purpose on earth is to make take-out?
In meantime, Shampoo plan to audition to plays for practice when
she becomes big Broadway star. Is goal of all Amazons, you know."
Ranma-chan rolled her eyes. Talk about huge egos.
"Did Shampoo ever tell you how she distantly related to Julie
Andrews?"
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Author's Notes: See, I told you part six was going to come out. It
took only what, one year? ^_^
Please send feedback to . I'm really
interested to know what people think of this part.
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