Chakotay walked through the door into Kathryn Janeway’s quarters. His eyes attempted to adjust to the darkness… the darkness from the void outside and the darkness from the nothingness within the room.
"Kathryn, we have to talk. Five weeks --- it’s been five weeks since you have shown yourself to anyone but these walls."
The worn woman turned and faced him, agony pinching thinner an already drawn face. Gone was any color of life; only a fragile gray shell of a wasting soul remained. Her voice echoed the vacant silhouette. "I can’t. Why should I? Anyone can do better than I have. All I have done is cause misery and hardship for everyone on board. I promised to get them home, and it seems we are no closer than when we started." She sighed; or was it more of a desolate cry? "And it’s my fault that we’re here in the first place."
He slowly walked over to her, afraid to reach out to her; she appeared as fragile as a spun-glass snowflake. But, if she continued to withdraw, she would become Voyager’s own black hole, drawing each and every one of the crew into her own predacious oblivion. His arms tentatively reached out, sensing her instantaneous recoil.
One… two steps towards her. "Kathryn…"
One… two steps away… shrinking within herself with each one. "No; don’t touch me; I’m poison to every thing… every person I touch."
He continued his advance. "That’s not true."
A sound came from her lips… he presumed it was to be taken as a laugh. But it sounded more like a ghoulish wail from hell. "Oh, really? Do you want me to begin to list the people we have lost on this mission… because of my error in judgment? How many lives back in the Alpha Quadrant have been irrevocably changed because of my decisions? How many children without parents… mothers without sons… lovers without… without…"
He was within a breath of her. His hand found her shoulder; he could feel the sharp defines of her collarbone. "Without what? They know we’re here now, Kathryn; and what you are doing is keeping us going… giving us --- and them --- hope. The only person you are destroying now is yourself."
He hesitated, endless questions now torturing him. Friendship or protocol? Redshift or blueshift? Pity or love? He walked in front of her, blocking her from the infinite darkness of the void outside. His other hand reached up to her other shoulder, and he gently pulled her towards his own trembling body. Would he… could he… be any comfort to her?
"Shhh… shhh," he whispered into her disheveled hair. "You’re not alone… you never have been. You just need someone… to be with you… to talk with… to… to…" He was becoming lost in her hair… her scent… her being. His hands found their way to her face, and his thumbs tenderly massaged the aching depressions of her eyes and cheeks. He lifted her face to his, murmuring redeeming words that he hoped would rescue her sinking soul:
"No more talk of darkness,
Forget these wide eyed fears,
I’m here; nothing can harm you,
My words will warm and guide you.
Let me be your freedom,
Let daylight dry your tears;
I’m here, with you beside you,
To guard you and to guide you."
Her breathing became more even, as her eyes sought his for confirmation of his promising words. Her voiced quaked as she appealed to him:
"All I ask is every waking moment
Turn my head with talk of summertime.
Say you need me with you now and always;
Promise me that all you say is true,
That’s all I ask of you."
He pulled her closer into his embrace as he felt her surrendering response:
"Let me be your shelter,
Let me be your light;
You’re safe, no one can find you,
Your fears are far behind you."
She drew on his strength, grasping at the gift he was offering. She made her plea:
"All I want is freedom,
A world with no more night;
And you, always beside me,
To hold me and to hide me."
His smile brought light to the darkened room; her words had broken down the emotional barrier that she had created over the years. In leading her to overcome one fear, he had led her over another. Daring to bring her further along on the journey out of darkness, he tenderly continued:
"Then say you’ll share with me
One love, one lifetime;
Let me lead you from your solitude.
Say you need me with you, here beside you,
Anywhere you go, let me go, too;
That’s all I ask of you."
There. He had said it. What would she do? Would their lives together be darker than the cataclysmic void in which their homeless ship floated? Her hands, so recently lifeless, suddenly felt warm and comforting as they encircled his face, her voice now confident and strong as she queried:
"All I ask for is one love, one lifetime;
Say the word and I will follow you.
Share each day with me,
Each night, each morning;
Say you love me (you know I do)
Love me, that’s all I ask of you."
Silence… then light… the light of love that had for too long been hidden in their own darkness. Nothing could contain the joyous confessions they now made to each other:
"Share each day with me, each night, each morning
Anywhere you go let me go, too.
Love me, that’s all I ask of you."
The endless emptiness surrounding them, outside and within their hearts, became flooded with hope and expectancy, as the shining gateway of everafters opened before them.