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The Agora - Dialogue in the Ancient Tradition
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For our next piece in the Agora, we bring you this fascinating review of Ninja tactics which
will no doubt be of the first importance to all associated with our Martial Science program. Comments?
"Logistical Modalities and Macro Level Ninja Warfare: Some Practical Considerations."
Introduction
Ninja warfare is not a new topic. Slippery assassins disappearing into the night time shadows
have plagued commanders around the world for centuries. However, with the current geo-politcal
situation, various criminal/industrial factions have taken to amassing what are essentially
ninja armies. Apart from all the quiddities that make the concept "ninja Army" seemingly
internally contradictory, when considered under the rubric of battlefield science one
must surely also be intrigued by the more mundane problems associated with every army
as they apply to the ninja army specifically.
I speak of those problems every army must face before it can meet the enemy on the field of
honour. I have helpfully distilled these problems down to what I call the Four Ws:
Where:
It is common knowledge that most ninja armies are based in super secret south Pacific
and South China Sea man-made islands. Our own MUNinjaPlex is a popular posting for our faculty
members, mainly for its sub-tropical and typhoon swept location. Such locations, while
contributing to secrecy, which is essential for ninja operations and morale, are considered by
some to be hindrances when engaging in large scale ninja combat. If one's objective is
merely a neighbouring island, or an unfortunate junk that has wandered off course, the
question is moot: just mount up your army on their attendant jetskis, and the problem is solved
at minimal cost, as jetskis are always part of the allocated budget of any
military/criminal-industrial srongman's forces.
The skills of one's Logistical Officers are tasked to their limits when your ninja
army must assault a target on another continent. Let us consider a hypothetical assault in
central Canada. Strongman X has reached a point in his world-domination scheme at which
he must gain control of the Canadian Parliament buildings (aside: any Western nation's
capitol would do for my illustration. I have chosen Ottawa randomly. (Anyone who questions
my theories on this is welcome to address the issue with me after tonight's lecture.)
without severely damaging the buildings. Clearly an airstrike is out of the question,
as it would just destroy the buildings. Strongman X's conventional commando unit
is already occupied on another unexpected mission, and would likely be too small to defeat
a heavily defended Parliament. (I am assuming X and Can are already engaged in hostilities,
and propose a hypothetical defensive force of 2 companies of Canadian Army regulars, with a
platoon of Leopard1 tanks and a platoon of APCs.) X's only choice is his ninja army.
How to get your 1000 ninjas from somewhere in the South China Sea to Ottawa, some 8-10 000
miles away?
The uncreative LO will merely build/purchase on the blackmarket/steal a large
military transport like a C17 Globemaster or an ex-Soviet An-92 and fly the army to
it's target to be paradropped, or possibly landed if a ready airstrip is within
short marching distance. Such tactics make poor use of those qualities that make ninja's
so valuable.
The ready access to jetskis and motorcycles in the ninja army's arsenal, and the
inherent skill at their operation that ninjas possess make these the intuitive, AND rational choice.
The motorcycles will have to cached somewhere on North or South America. How
to get them there is up to the individual commander. In our case, Strongman X
has taxed his ocean-going fleet to the limit in the transport of liquid nitrogen and stolen
reactor cores, so no ocean-going ships are available. Consequently, he will have to
either purchase/steal the motorbikes from somewhere on the two continents, or else
draw on his ready-reserves from his N.A. bases. Such is the path a linear thinking
LO's mind will take. Why not have your ninjas commandeer their own bikes once they reach the coast?
This eliminates the cost of the bikes plus the initial tank of petrol, and also
eliminates the threat of your caches being discovered. And who is better at stealing
than the ninja! So, the problem of first transport once on N.A. is solved, but how to
get your army there.
Assuming use of JetSkis, several possibilities are open. X's ninjas could set
out on the high-seas, but attrition would no doubt take a heavy toll on this erstwhile
fleet. Better yet for the army/fleet to assault any passing freighters. Merchant shipping
in the area of our base is usually well prepared for piracy, but whoever expects 1000
ninjas on JetSkis to attack their corn oil tanker? Then X's group would sail directly to
Vancouver or someother port, or even make the longer but less expected journey to Halifax
or Montreal(ports less likely patrolled by mini-sub).
Again, Mr Linear thinker rears his ugly head! Strongman X suggests to his ninja general
(the command and control structures of ninja armies is addressed in J.L. Ahad's
tract "Non/Contemporary Orders of Battle and their Implications in the Mechanized
Battlefield" forthcoming, MUPress.) that the army/fleet make its way to SE Asia.
The abundance in merchant shipping will provide countless vessels to those ninjas
who wish to sail to N.A., and the numerous ports will provide landfall for those enterprising
ninjas who wish to take the overland route. Overland? you ask. Why yes. From this
Asian
departure point, the ninja is given several advantages. He is able to decide whether to
hijack or commandeer an aircraft and fly to N.A., or he may stow away on a
cargo vessel and sail to N.A., at considerably less risk and cost in throwing stars than an
assault on an ocean going freighter. The motorcycle option appears again, and the hearty
ninja may just march until an opportunity arises. The individual ninjas will be able
to call on their landbased brethren for food/ shelter, or if secrecy is more important,
they may steal freely from the local populations.
Assuming Strongman X takes the SE Asia plan, we can plan for the trek across North America.
The army would arive piecemeal over several weeks, in all the west coast ports, and some
east coast ports for those ninjas who travelled through Asia to Europe or Africa.
Our individuals will likely gravitate to each other, and form small bands to continue
the journey. Some will stowaway in/under cars or trucks, but many will take advantage of
the VIARail passes purchased by Strongman X and distributed to all ninjas. Of course,
several ninjas will be lost this way, as the Candadian gov't will undoubtedly monitor the
lanes of transport during a national crisis, but we can assume that the Can. authorities
will be stretched thin, and more ninjas will survive the rail journey than don't.
The VIARail pass is very economical in this situation: Strongman X plans for many
contingencies! Just the cost of fueling JetSkis for a trans-oceanic voyage would
exceed the cost of the rail passes. Also, the ninja is provided a means of getting
back to a port for the journey back to his secluded home island.
Many ninjas will steal motorcycles along the way, either in Vancouver etc. or when
they are forced to abandon their rail journey. Others, most notably those in groups of
four to six will comandeer tandem bicycles and ride across the Rockies or Quebec.
Riders will take turns either pedalling or doing their kata as they balance across the top-tubes
of the tandems on their quarterstaffs. Such method will, in addition to covering up to
100km a day, keep X's army fit and motivated. However, just as much of the force is lost
in police sweeps of the trains, many cyclists will be lost as they try to cross the barren
expanses of the Prairies, where there are few line-of-sight obstructions to obscure
their two-wheeled progress. Losses would be higher in winter, as the ninja is
accustomed to the mild island/Japanese climate. (much like French and German armies in Russia).
All in all, this plan makes best use of the ninja's abilities, and is the most economical,
in manpower and capital. Stealing several C17s from a USAF base would be costly in men,
and would bring down the wrath of a superpower,which may be, at times, against the
best interests of X's plan. Fuel, either stolen or legally purchased, would again be too costly
in most situations, even with the C17s efficient engines. Once X's armiy has
arrived in Ottawa, the next step is to marshall the force to within striking distance of the
Parliament. Assuming a remaining force of 200-500 ninjas, taking into the vagueries of the
Canadian climate, from the initial 800-1000, we can examine the possibilities of travelling
from the Ottawa train station and the east and western suburbs, to Parliament Hill.
