Everyone had recovered from the big Itey/Snitch scare, so they decided to go back into the lodging house, when, suddenly, there was a giant flash of light!

"Oh why me? *bang*" said Davey, banging his head against a wall.

Meanwhile, back in the center of the earth...

"Oh why me? *bang*" said Specs, banging his head against a wall. Les grabbed onto his sleeve to tell him something, when, suddenly, there was a giant flash of light! Specs and Les reappeared outside the lodging house!

"Hey, I thought ya was dead." said Race.

"Hmm, guess not." said Specs, brushing himself off.

"Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack !!!!!!!!!" screamed Les before he passed out. He forgot to breathe. Les was always doing dumb things like that.

"Woohoo!" cheered Davey. It was the best thing that had happened all day.

"Heeeeeeeeelllppppppppp meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!" shouted Kid Blink as he ran by.

"Blink! I want a pair of twos and matchin' aces!" Mush cried, running after him.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Blink ran around the corner and Mush followed him again. Race shook his head. His friend had lost it. Good thing he wasn't the one Mush was chasing around. He decided that now was a perfect time to practice playing his harmonica.

Meanwhile, back in Brooklyn,

Spot yawned. He had run out of newsies to zap. He was going to go to Midtown to zap their newsies, but someone there spoke good english and ruined his plan again. Spot pouted. "Dis isn't faih!"

"Hello!" shouted someone. It was...MR SNAPPLE THE TALKING PURPLE BUNNY! Spot had found his new best friend. They had so much in common. How touching.

Three Days later...

"Hum dee dum dum dum..." Race said. Boots kicked a rock around. Mush was still chasing Blink around the block, yelling something about "A ninety degree angle!!!". Blink was too busy running to remind him that he didn't need to measure things, he needed to find an angle. Race played his harmonica. It was fun.

Just then, Dutchy walked around the corner, looking suspiciously around him. Snoddy was still all dizzy like from Spot's evil insence but he followed anyway. Dutchy faked a smile and sped up his pace. Snoddy followed him again. This was creeping Dutchy out.

"Whadda ya want, Snoddy?" Dutchy asked, discreetly (not) hiding his bag behind him.

"A courduroy suit wit fitted knickahs!!!" Boots shouted, jumping up and down. Dutchy and Snoddy gave him weird looks. No one cared about Boots' dream to be well dressed.

"Shut up Boots." Snoddy said. Boots pouted. It sucked being short. He was older than PIE EATER, for christsakes, but everyone told him he was younger. Poor Boots.

"You think you can boss me around?!? I'd like to see you try!" Boots challenged. Itey whacked him on the head and Boots shut up. What a wimp.

"Haha!" said Itey, since he couldn't think of anything else to say. He was hungry. He decided to eat his suspenders. He tried to do that once before when they first met Davey, but it wasn't working. Hmm... he thought, trying to figure out how to eat them. He opened his mouth really wide and attempted to cram them in, but they just snapped back to their regular position. Hmm... Itey wandered off pondering to himself.

"Hey! Where's Jack!? Where is he?!? Huh?!?!" Les shouted as he appeared out of nowhere. "JAAAAACCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!"

"Dangit!" Davey cried. Les was awake. Everything had been so much nicer when Les had been unconcious.

"What're you all waitin' for?" Specs asked, manuveering away from Les.

"Damn UPS man..." Race muttered under his breath.

"I told ya to use FedEx, but no! Ya wouldn't lissen ta me!" Jack shook his head.

Les grabbed a paper and looked for his first victim. His plan had been set back while he spent time in the center of the earth. Even if there was the promise of the everlacy doilies...

"Hey, mister! *COUGH* Wanna buy a paper? *COUGH*" Les hacked all over the paper. The man looked startled. Les waved the paper at him. The man shook his head and backed away slowly. This was bad. This threw Les into a rage. "HEY COME BACK HERE! I'M CUTE AN' INNOCENT AND IF YOU DON'T BUY MY PAPER..." He stopped when he noticed everyone was looking at him.

"Lady, wanna buy a paper?" he asked. Then, he coughed. Once....twice...three times....Tires could be heard squealing around the corner and the health sanitation van shreiked to a stop at the exact spot where he was standing.

"Hey, wanna buy a pape? *cough* *cough*" He began. The Health Sanitation Officials were smart. They weren't fooled by his innocent kid act.

"Les, it's over," Denton shook his head sadly as he adjusted his bowtie. This was one of his favorite things to say. It made him happy to feel like he was fooling people when he really wasn't.

"Jesus, do you always have to be sooooo cryptic?" shouted Davey, whacking him over the head. Denton started to cry.

"Baby." said Davey.

"But David! I thought-" Denton wailed.

"Shut up Denton! You're a loser! What the heck is wrong with you?" Davey yelled. "And the bowties?"

"AHHHH!!!" Denton sobbed. He ran off to find a therapist. He was emotionally scarred for life.

"You're coming with us. We already have your pal Crutchy," the health sanitation officials said.

"I remember Crutchy!" Les exclaimed, looking for Jack. He remembered when Jack had asked the Delancey brothers if they remembered Crutchy. He was happy that he could tell Jack that he rememebered Crutchy. Suddenly, there was a cheesy sound effect. *BONK!*

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Les screamed. Doilies began falling from the sky, thunking giant holes in the ground. The Health Sanitation officials talked to each other through their walkie talkies. Jack was confused. They were two feet away, why couldn't they just talk normally? He didn't understand their theory of using electronic gadjets that weren't invented them to make then look cool. Think X-files on this one. The doilies rained down on New York. Cheesy sound effects came right before each one hit the ground. Sarah ran outside and began to dance. The newsies cowered under their bunk. As the door to the van slammed, the doily skies parted and the sun burst through. That nifty angelic choir music played in the background. You know, that stuff in the movies? Oh...anyway...

"Yes!!!"

"He's gone!"

"At last!!!"

Cries rose up from the joyous newsies. They were happy. No more Les, no more doilies! Oh happy day!

Meanwhile, at the therapist's...

"So you see Doc, he *sob* insulted me in front of all the newsies! All I ever wanted to do was fit in!" Denton sobbed on the therapist's couch. The therapist was mad. He was trying to get some sleep. But stupid Denton kept wailing about being a misfit. Which he was, mind you.

"Mr Denton, you're thirty and those boys aren't a day over twenty. Give it up!" the therapist concluded, smacking Denton on the head. "And what is it with those bowties of yours?"

Meanwhile, back in Brooklyn...

"Wow, I like to zap people too!" exlaimed Spot to Mr Snapple the talking purple bunny. They were sharing their interests.

"Say, let's go visit your friends in Manhattan!" suggested Mr Snapple the talking purple bunny. Spot nodded and they hopped over the remains of Spot's newsies to Manhattan.

"Good, the UPS man is supposed ta come taday!" Spot said as they bounced away.

Meanwhile, in Manhattan...

"Darn UPS people!" Race muttered for probably the eighth time.

"I toldja we shoulda used FedEx. Woulda been dere by ten da next mornin', but no, we had ta use UPS!" Jack yelled. Just then, a loud whoosing noise was heard from overhead.

"Run, it's a trick!" Race yelled. Everyone stopped and looked at him.

"No it isn't," Itey mumbled around mouthfuls of his suspenders.

"Um....doilies!" screamed Snitch. But he was wrong. There were no doilies. Instead, Snipeshooter came flying through the air and crashed into a tree. He emerged after a few seconds. The newsies blinked a few times in shock.

"Snipes! You'se back...uh oh..." Boots said, remembering the cigars he had stolen from Race. Snipeshooter would undoubtly want to sound like a frog, and everyone knows that only one person can do that.

"Hey, wheah was ya?" Race asked.

"Davey kicked me inta next Tuesday! And taday's Tuesday, so heah I is!" Snipeshooter exclaimed.

"Davey!" said Pie Eater, who hasn't had any lines this entire part. Poor Pie Eater.

"What?" whined Davey. Stupid newsies. He'd show them.

"Who am I? Why am I here? What is my point in life? My piece d'etre? Who am I? Am I destined to be just another faceless newsie in the crowd?" said Bumlets. Bumlets could be a poet, if he wanted to, I suppose.

Meanwhile, at the New York Zoo...

"Lalala, this is a nice zoo," remarked Snitch.

"Let's look at da animals!" exclaimed Swifty. Well, no kidding, it's a zoo, smart boy, what're you going to do, wine and dine.

"Ok!" said Snitch. He was happy. How they got to the zoo, I have no idea. Maybe they climbed into Sarah's basket of lace. Speaking of that thing...where is it? Dutchy!!! (Narrator/Author/ ME chases after a fleeing Dutchy).

"Um, yeah, ok Narrator..." said Snitch.

"Shut up!" said Fox, pouting.

"You're not supposed to be here. You're supposed to be in Fox's Day at the Beach." Swifty informed her.

"Shh! I haven't told anyone about that! Now I have to explain it! Well...I'll put up an explanation, thanks to you!" Fox ran off to type up the explanation. I, the narrator, being another manifestation of Fox's black little soul, will continue on with the story. Do you want to know how many-*gets knocked over the head with something, possibly a roll from the nuns*.

"AHHHHHH!" screamed Swifty. Thousands of monkeys were chasing him down the street.

"Oook! Ooook!" shouted the monkeys. (Translation: Long lost brother! Come home to us!)

"AAAAAHHHHHH!" screamed Swifty.

"Oookokok!" shouted the monkeys. (Translation: Wait! Come home to the jungles with us! We will find you a suitable bride and make you our king!)

"Weird..." commented Snitch. He went to look at the beaver pond.

Meanwhile, back outside the lodging house...

"Why is my hair black? Why not red? How come none of the newsies have red hair? Why do Skittery and I carry around large sticks? Is it so we can hit people who don't buy our papers?" Bumlets pondered.

"What's wit Bumlets?" said Jake.

"Identity crisis," Davey explained. All the newsies nodded in understanding.

"AHHHH!" Surprisingly, it wasn't Blink screaming, it was Swifty.

"Oook!!! Okokokokokok!" shouted the monkeys. (Translation: Wait! We revere you! Take Shelina as your wife!!!)