Uncanny X-Men #354 - "Prehistory"

Writer: Steve Seagle    Pencils: Chris Bachalo    Inks: Tim Townsend

Okay, I know this is late as hell but I just kept putting it off over and over again, but here it is finally, the review you all have been waiting for (or at least I'm thinking you have been waiting for.) Anyway, let's begin. Rogue is off runnin' away why'll her teammates are strugglin' with Sauron. Sauron is putting up quite an impressive fight against the X-Men. (Who'd a thunk a little green pteradactyl could be so much trouble?) The battle was just plain awesome. Maggot takes a ride on Sauron as they go up, up, up into skies. Cutting away to the space scene, we see that Bishop is wising up a bit to Deathbird's patronistic lies. And as they talk, they are caught up into a gravatational pull of some sort. Meanwhile, Rogue is in the mansion with an unconscious Joseph. She gives mouth-to-mouth to Joseph. (Hey Joseph, shouldn't you be gone? I swore you left the X-Men after Sabra kicked your butt. I smell yet another crappy continuity error.) Marrow finds Rogue and gives her that, we're both alike crapline. Rogue bolts again and the scene shifts back to the battle. Maggot is hurled downward by Sauron. Eany and Meany bite into the dirt below where Maggot's gonna fall and he has somewhat of a cushioned landing, but he's out of the fight. Sauron eventually takes out the other remaining X-Men and gives a triumphant howl. Meanwhile, in Alaska, Jean don's the Phoenix outfit in front of a shocked Cyclops. Back to the battle we see that Wolvie has recovered and begins to slash away at Sauron. Jubilee sneaks up behind Sauron and damn near literally pops his eardrums. Sauron finally crumbles like the dirtbag he is and the battle is over. The epilogue shows Rogue leaving for the Agee Institute, she also has a memory of herself touching Wolverine and draining his power. (This is one screwed up chick?)

Wolverine: Wolverine was just his usually fiesty self. Also, he seems pretty pissed off at Rogue. (I guess he remembered her touching him.)

Storm: She had her usual battle persona on, Proctectress of the Team.

Rogue: "Ah think ah so more marbles. Ones ah didn't even know ah had." She's either totally psycho or totally stupid. I'm sure a psychiatrist couldn't even cure her mental ailment. She is waay to willing to touch people now.

Joseph: He's probably pissed off at Rogue too. I don't think he appreciated her helping him come back to consciousness.

Iceman: Using his regualr battle persona, hurling ice shards and corny insults.

Cannonball: Just flying off head strong into battle. (No real plan, just use brute force and get knocked silly.)

Maggot: Trying to give Sauron a good first impression. He uses his brute strength this time, instead of trying to scare someone with those little slugs...er...maggots. But of course, he comes up short once again.

Marrow: She seemed to be trying to form a friendship with Rogue in a sort of twisted kinda way. The ole "We a kindred spirits" type routine.

Bishop: Finally, he speaks!!! He knows Deathbird is lying about something. (Ooooh!!!)

Deathbird: Still secretive and uptight.

Jubilee: Bold in battle with a pack of insults to match her powers.

Jean: Smackable.

Cyclops: Dweebish.

Sauron: Greedy little, fiendish, smelly, rotten dinosaur. The Good: Finally, an issue with some solid action and not just the X-Men lying around the house. I like the way that all the X-Men had went down in the fight. That's what makes a fight more interesting. Even most of Chris' work was good.

The Bad: Well, some parts of the fight were rather questionable. One instance was when Sauron shot Storm in the chest with a gun which should have killed her since getting a look at the bullets (before Eany and Meany chomped them to bits) they were pretty decent size.

The Ugly: The way Cyclops in that huge no-neck sweater. He looked like an overweight couch potato. (He's called Slim for a reason, now draw him that way!)

Overall: 9 (out of 10)

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