Take Me to AniTV Land

WARNING!! If you are even a slight fan of the Animorphs TV show, do not read any further. This story comes from the pen of an avid AniTV hater, and no mercy will be shown whatsoever. You have been warned....

Take Me to AniTV Land

My name is Jake.

By now you probably know of the invasion. How the Yeerks are slowly but surely enslaving humanity. How a dying Andalite prince gave us five kids the power to morph into any animal we could touch. How we are now the final stand between you and total enslavement of the human race.

And you probably think that’s a pretty big threat.

Think again.

There is an even bigger threat.

It doesn’t exist here. Not in this world. At least, I hope to God that it doesn’t. For if it has, then we are surely doomed.

It all started when we were spying on a Sharing meeting. The Sharing, as you know, is a front rganization for the Yeerks that is used to help ecruit more voluntary hosts. When a host is voluntary, they struggle less and are more likely to accept their loss of freedom.

We were all in fly morph, hanging out on the ceiling. It was Christmas Eve, the first day of winter vacation. And, as usual, Marco was complaining.

<Jake, did you even consider for a minute - just a minute - that the Sharing might be having a nice, normal ski trip?> he whined. <Besides, it’s Christmas Eve! This is so not how I want to spend the first day of winter vacation.>

<What is this Christmas, anyway?> Ax wondered aloud.

<It’s a holiday, Ax,> Tobias piped up. <A very cool holiday where you get a bunch of free stuff from people you know.>

<Ah. Why are gifts exchanged?>

A fly zoomed into my field of vision, executed a neat backflip, and planted itself on the ceiling.

<Speaking of that, anyone know what they’re getting?> I asked cheerfully.

Rachel replied.

<Me? I’m probably getting something really crappy,> Marco interjected.

<Marco?>

<Yeah?>

<SHUT UP!!> we all screamed.

<Okay,> he said meekly.

<Hey, did anyone else see the cookies down there?> Cassie asked suddenly.

<They have cookies?> Marco said excitedly.

<No, Marco,> I said before he could swoop down and plant himself on the plate of sugar cookies in the center of the table.

<Aw, come on!> he begged. <They’re the good Pillsbury kind!>

<Shh,> I shushed him. <They’re talking about the ski trip.>

We all fell silent and listened.

"During the upcoming ski trip, there will not be any infestations. This is a recruitment trip, nothing more. If any of the members sense that something is amiss, that will mean one less infestation. And Visser Three will not be too keen on that."

<See?> Marco crowed. <SEE? They are doing something normal!>

<For once,> Rachel muttered.

<Now can we please get out of here?> He didn’t even wait for a response before spreading his wings and hauling butt towards the window. I sighed, spread my wings, and followed him.

e all landed and demorphed in an alleyway. After demorphing to Andalite, Ax remorphed to human. After all, an Andalite walking around downtown would have looked just slightly obvious. We fished our outer clothes out of the bag we had stuffed in a Dumpster while Rachel helped Ax put on his outer clothes.

Tobias, after saying a short farewell, flapped his wings and shot upward towards the sky.

"So, are we all ready to go home and make an attempt at having a normal Christmas?" Rachel asked.

"Normal?" Marco echoed. "In case you haven’t noticed, Xena, we left behind ‘normal’ a while ago. There’s no way we’ll be able to have a normal holiday. It’s just not possible."

I turned abruptly and walked out of the alleyway, shoving the bag that had held our clothes in a trash can as I did. I walked briskly, feeling the cool December air rush past my face. After going for a block and a half, I became aware of Marco walking beside me.

"What’s wrong, fearless leader?" he asked.

"Don’t call me that," I snapped. I kicked at a rock and watched it skitter down the sidewalk, only stopping once it hit a light pole.

"Hey, I was just joking!" He held up his hands in self-defense.

I sighed and stopped walking. "Marco, you’re right."

"About what? The joke?" He looked confused.

"No. About not being able to have a normal Christmas. I was kind of hoping that I could just forget everything. That I could forget the invasion. That I could forget that Tom - " I stopped and lowered my voice. "That my brother isn’t one of them. But like you said, that’s just not possible." I shrugged and continued walking again.

"But - "

I turned around and started walking backwards. "Marco, just leave me alone, okay?"

"But I didn’t mean it!" he protested. "I was just teasing Rachel."

"Give it - "

I was about to say ‘up’ when I tripped over something. I windmilled my arms wildly to try and regain my balance. No such luck. After struggling for about three seconds, I toppled over like a tree.

I expected to hit the pavement. But I didn’t.

Instead, I kept falling.

Falling….

And that’s when I blacked out.

**********

I don’t know how long I was unconscious. It could have been minutes. It could have been hours. It may have even been days. But I finally did awaken, and found myself on the outskirts of the forest. The others were all around me, also unconscious. Ax had somehow demorphed to his own Andalite body. As I watched with growing alarm, they began to stir and woke up.

"Ow," Rachel moaned, cradling her head in her hands. "Where are we?"

"Near the forest, I think," I supplied, getting to my feet. As I did, I got the sensation that something was wrong. It wasn’t something that was visible. It was more like the warm summer wind that comes before a thunderstorm. A premonition of sorts.

Tobias hopped up, extending his wings gingerly. <Good,> he said, relieved.

I frowned. Tobias’s thought speech had sounded strange and distorted. It was almost like a pathetic echo effect that could have been done with a cheap sound program on a computer.

"Tobias, what’s up with your thought speech, man?" Marco queried. So I hadn’t been the only one to notice it.

He cocked his head to the side. he admitted.

"Well, Tobias’s thought speech is the least of our worries right now," I replied, trying to shake off the feeling I had gotten. "Priority number one: Where exactly are we, how did we get here, and why are we here?"

Ax said calmly. His thought speech also sounded distorted and echo-y.

"Don’t call me prince," I responded automatically. Ax, being an Andalite, has to have a prince to be subordinate to. Guess who he chose? No matter how many times I tell him not to call me Prince Jake, he never listens.

"Let’s start walking," Rachel suggested. "You know, try to reach civilization so we can figure out what’s going on."

"Good idea," I agreed. "Ax, why don’t you morph human? Once you’re done, try to catch up with us." After studying the available directions for a minute, I chose west and motioned for everyone to follow me.

Tobias took flight and soared overhead. We walked - or, in Tobias’s case, flew - for about five minutes before Ax tottered up from behind us on his ‘unsteady’ human legs.

"This place gives me the creeps." Cassie shivered and hugged herself, even though it was fairly warm out.

"Yeah, I know." Marco nodded in agreement. "It’s not something I can see, you know? It’s like a feeling. A feeling that something’s just not right here."

"I was thinking the exact same thing earlier," I told him. We stopped talking and continued our trek towards civilized life. After about an hour, we were in our neighborhood.

We walked down streets that looked familiar, yet terribly different at the same time. We saw people that we could have sworn we knew, but were too unsure to know for certain. We passed houses that had nearly the exact same architecture as our own houses, but felt so strange that we couldn’t bear to go inside.

When we passed one house that looked a lot like my own, I saw a kid playing basketball in the driveway. He looked a bit older than me, maybe fourteen or fifteen years old, with curly reddish-brown hair and pale blue eyes. Without even meaning too, I slowed down my walk and stared at him. He seemed to draw my gaze like a magnet.

As I watched him, he dribbled the ball, then took a shot. It circled around the rim and bounced away, rolling down the driveway and into the street. On a reflex that I developed after playing basketball for so many years, I rushed over and intercepted it before it could get much further.

"Hey, thanks," he said as I passed it back to him.

"No problem." I looked into his eyes. And then I swear I felt a tingle go up my spine. There was something about him….But that was impossible. I had never seen this guy before in my life. I shook my head slightly to clear away the feeling.

He must have felt it too, for he took a step backwards to put a little bit of distance between us. "So, you new here or something?" he asked casually.

"Um, yeah, I guess."

"That’s cool." He smiled. "So maybe I’ll see you in school after break. You in high school yet?"

"No, I’m still in junior high." Why was he asking so many questions?

"Oh, too bad. Well, hey, I’ll probably see you in the neighborhood then."

"Yeah, cool. See you." I darted down the street to catch up with the rest of my friends, trying not to look back at him.

"So nice of you to grace us with your presence," Marco teased with a grin. "Did you have a nice chitchat with that other kid?"

I tried to cuff him, but he ducked and kept grinning.

Cassie looked at me. "When I passed that guy, I got the strangest feeling. It was like…I don’t know. Like I knew him."

"But you’ve never seen him before," I finished. "I felt it too."

"I should probably demorph, Jake." Ax appeared behind us, seeming much steadier on his legs. "I’ve been in morph for one hour and thirty-two minutes."

"Okay," I said distractedly. "We just need to find a place for you to demorph without being seen."

Marco threw his hands into the air. "The world is ending."

"What?"

He looked at me incredulously. "You didn’t hear that? Ax didn’t play around with his words. And he didn’t call you ‘prince.’ The apocalypse is coming! Run for your lives!!"

I rolled my eyes.

<We’re coming up on a place,> Tobias supplied. <It’s a big bush behind the next house on the right. I’ll just check it - AAAH!>

A flash of russet and brown came spiraling down to earth.

"Tobias!" Rachel cried. She sprinted forward, arms outstretched, ready to catch him. Like a professional football player going up for a pass, she lunged and caught him between her hands, landing hard on the pavement.

"Shh, Tobias. It’s okay." She cradled him like a tiny baby.

<My eyes!> he repeated hysterically.

"You’re going blind?" Panic began working its way into her face.

<Yes! Well, comparatively, anyway.> He blinked and shuddered slightly. <Everything is tinted brown…and I can barely see any better than you guys now….> He began turning his head from side to side.

"Can you still fly?"

<I…I’m not sure. I’d rather not risk it, if you don’t mind.> Rachel nodded and let him perch on her shoulder.

"Wait…wait a minute." Cassie moved closer to Tobias and stared at him. Reaching up, she gently traced a finger down his back.

<Um, Cassie? What are you doing?>

"Since when are you a Swainson’s hawk?" she said, her voice trembling slightly.

Tobias jerked his head down faster than they thought possible. He stared at his plumage for a while, then began to quiver. He looked up into her face.

<Please explain what the hell is going on,> he said in what was a relatively calm voice.

"I don’t know! You think I would have told you already if I did?" she snapped.

<Geez, sorry.>

"No, I’m sorry. I’m just more than a little tense right now." She frowned and looked at his talons. "Look at this." She held up a leather strap that had been affixed to his ankle.

"What is that?" Rachel whispered after a short pause.

"It’s a leather strap that falconers use when they’re training their birds." She fingered it, the frown still remaining on her face. "Why it would be on you is beyond me." Cassie let it drop back down onto Rachel’s shoulder.

"Something is definitely wrong here," Rachel murmered.

"Gee, ya think, Xena?" Marco said harshly.

"Shut up, Marco. I might have to hurt you if you don’t."

"Please, you two," I said wearily, feeling a lot like a parent. "Just stop arguing. We need to get Ax to demorph before he’s trapped. You can argue later, after we figure out what’s going on."

They both turned towards me, a little embarrassed. After a few awkward seconds, Marco snapped his hand up into a mock salute.

"Sir, yes SIR!" he shouted. "At ease, soldier," I joked as we cut across a lawn and headed towards the bush that Tobias had spotted from the air. We reached it quickly and ducked inside. It was a gigantic forsythia bush, covered with a thick coating of green leaves and yellow blossoms. The inside had been hollowed out, making it similar to a living tent.

"Well, isn’t this convenient," Marco muttered.

"No kidding." I craned my neck upward towards the sunlight that was streaming through the branches. "Who else thinks that the Ellimist might have something to do with this?"

<It’s a possibility, but I don’t see why he would help us out. Unless our entire town has been made into Controllers within the hour or so we were knocked out.> Tobias ruffled his feathers and punctuated his remark with a sharp screech. We all winced and plugged our ears.

"What was that for?" Marco snapped.

"When it makes me go permanently deaf, yes! And why are you suddenly doing that now, when you’ve been trapped for a year and have never done it before?"

"Maybe Swainson’s hawks like to screech a lot," Rachel suggested tersely.

<Um, Jake? I believe that something is quite wrong.> Ax’s thought speech interrupted our thoughts. He had demorphed while we were arguing. We all turned towards him - and gaped in shock.

Something was wrong, all right. Ax’s normally short, tannish-blue fur had grown about a foot and was now a deep blue. He seemed to have a mowhawk of white hair that started between his stalk eyes and traveled down his head. His stalk eyes, once so long and full of movement, were stumpy rubber-like things that were frozen in place. And his tail blade…his tail blade almost looked as if it had been carved from wood. It looked more like a banana than the scythe-like blade he had once possessed.

"Raise your hand if that picture just makes you wanna run away screaming like a ninny," Marco said as he raised his hand.

"Double vision," Cassie murmured.

<And my arms feel much stronger.> He held up his hands into his field of vision and turned them over slowly, as if he was seeing them for the first time. <They are about as strong as your human arms now.>

"Um, maybe you should morph again," I advised. "To bird, this time. We need to get wings."

<Yes, Jake.> He began to morph to bird. I focused and felt the now-familiar sensation of turning into a peregrine falcon. As feathers began sprouting out of my skin, I made the mistake of looking at Ax. When I did, I was treated to the absolutely revolting scene of foot-long fur turning into brown feathers. I shuddered, squeezed my eyes shut, and kept them shut until the morph was complete.

I opened my eyes and half-walked, half-flew to the edge of the bush. To my amazement, there was a hole right where I was that was the exact same size as a bird of prey. Again, I felt a tingle go up my spine. I tried to brush it off as I walked out and took flight. Once I was airborne, I circled around and made sure the others were following me.

<Spread out and keep your eyes and ears open,> I instructed. <But stay within thought-speak range. If you find anything, yell and we’ll all follow you.> They agreed, and I adjusted my wings and glided back over to where the kid was that I had seen earlier.

Lucky for me, there was a nice big thermal right above his driveway. Keeping my eyes trained on him, I spiraled inside of it, watching him continue to practice his shot. He was pretty bad, to tell you the truth. Only about one of every ten shots he made actually went in the basket. The rest were either airballs or bounced off and rolled away.

<This guy needs all the practice he can get,> I muttered to no one.

<Jake?>

I glanced up at the Swainson’s hawk above me. Moving my wings ever-so-slightly, I rose up to meet him. <There’s a meeting at Cassie’s place. Morph and meet us there.>

What? What was Tobias talking about? I was already in morph! And why would Cassie be calling a meeting now? We were trying to figure out what was going on, not trying to plot against the Yeerks!

That’s when I glanced back down at the kid. His eyes were fixed on Tobias as well. As I watched, he gave an almost imperceptible nod and set his basketball down. He walked over to the side of his garage, where there were a few shadows. And that’s when I started panicking.

<GUYS!> I shouted in as loud a voice as possible. <We have a situation over here! By that kid’s house that we saw earlier!>

Faintly, I heard Cassie respond to my call. <What’s happening?>

<What’s happening? I’ll tell you what’s happening. He’s morphing, that’s what’s happening!!>

<No, Cassie, I’m not sure,> I said sarcastically.

In the distance, I could see a pair of ospreys flapping towards me. Cassie and Marco. From another direction, Rachel swooped in in her bald eagle morph. Tobias was right behind her. Fascinated and panicked at the same time, we watched the kid twist and deform until he was entirely a bird. It only took about thirty seconds. He pushed off the grassy ground and got airborne. I had the nearly uncontrollable urge to knock him out of flight, pin him down, and ask him what was going on, but I didn’t.

<We should follow him,> Tobias remarked.

<Yeah. Follow that birdie!> I said in an effort to lighten the situation somewhat. We turned and flapped in the direction he was heading, careful to not be very obvious.

After flying for a short while, a few other birds joined up with him. In one of the most idiotic moves I have ever seen in my life, they huddled close together in what Tobias would have referred to as a ‘raptor convention.’ I don’t think they could have been any more obvious if they tried.

Beneath us, I caught sight of what looked like a wildlife preservation. There were gigantic fields that were only broken up by two or three horses. Off in one corner was a small barn, tiny in comparison to Cassie’s barn. The birds swooped inside. I flared my wings and landed on top of the barn. The others followed my lead.

<How could those kids have gotten the morphing power?> Rachel mused aloud.

<Maybe we weren’t the only ones who went through the construction site that night,> Marco suggested. <Or the Ellimist may have given it to them. After all, he restored Tobias’s morphing power.>

<Why would the Ellimist have given them the power? They aren’t exactly disguising the fact that they can morph,> I commented.

Rachel snickered in agreement.

"So Cassie, why are we here?" a voice asked. It sounded a lot like the kid I had met.

"I saw something this afternoon, Jake." She paused. Why, I don’t know. Maybe it was for dramatic effect. "You know that forsythia bush by that house a few doors down from yours, Jake?" Another pause. I briefly wondered if this girl had some sort of mental disorder. "I saw six birds of prey fly out of it."

Ax said calmly.

<No duh,> Cassie muttered.

"Visser Three!" another voice responded instantly.

"No, that doesn’t make any sense. There were six of them, Rachel."

"Well, maybe he gave a few of the Hork-Bajir the power to morph."

<Idiots, idiots, idiots,> I muttered again.

<Did anyone else noticed something?> Tobias asked us. <They have the same names as us.>

I blinked. Jake…Cassie…Rachel…he was right! They did have the same names as us!

<This has just gone from weird to weirder,> Marco said, a bit nervously.

"No way, chica. That dude would never give them the morphing power. He’s like power-hungry or something."

I heard some rustling inside. "Did anyone hear that?" Jake questioned.

<Oh, we are definitely screwed now.>

<Uh-huh.>

<Hear what?> a different thought-speak voice asked him.

"There was a rustling sound on the roof." He paused, then added, "We need a plan. It could be a Controller."

"Why don’t you morph to tiger, and if it’s a Controller, take them down. If not, tell us what it is."

"Good idea." I heard some disgusting squishy and crunching sounds coming from inside the barn.

<Um, ew?> Rachel commented.

Thirty seconds later, a white tiger sauntered out of the barn. He turned and gazed up at us, a slight roar lingering in his throat. His eyes still affixed on our forms, he began pacing around. All the while, I was thinking about how he could easily lunge up and crush me with those big, pointed teeth.

<No, there’s nobody out here,> he reported. <Just a few birds.>

"Wait a minute." A girl - Cassie, we guessed, although she bore absolutely no resemblance to our Cassie - jogged out of the barn. She looked up at us as well. "Those are the same birds I saw earlier!"

<On the count of three, everybody start screeching like maniacs and get the tiger,> I said.

<Why?>

<Yep. Get ready. One…two…THREE!>

We all began screeching and launched off of the roof, heading straight for the white tiger. Forming a weird sort of line, we each dove down and raked his back with our talons in turn. He roared and whirled around to try and catch us, but he was too slow. I was about to circle back and rake him again when the other Cassie lunged and got me out of midair.

"Gotcha!" she said triumphantly.

<Oh, crap.> I twisted my head around and looked her square in the face. <Um, guys? A little help would be nice right abouAAAH!>

The tiger had clamped his jaws around me. Gently, of course, but still….Do you have any idea how nasty tiger breath smells? As I continued screaming in thought speech, they brought me inside the barn.

"We got one of them," Cassie explained as Jake began demorphing faster than I thought possible. With me still in his mouth. Halfway though demorphing, he figured out that it would be helpful if he stopped holding on to me with his mouth and dropped me to the floor. I fell about four feet and bounced rather nicely, then hopped up and screeched.

<Thanks for all the help, guys,> I complained to the others.

<Please stop yelling. We’re coming, we’re coming.> A few seconds after that, the others breezed into the barn and began flapping around madly, making a general type of ruckus. Unfortunately, Cassie yet again displayed her bird-catching skills and snagged them all.

<Last time I help you,> Rachel muttered as Cassie set her on the floor. She began preening.

"I think they’ve been Yeerked," a Hispanic boy said, kneeling down onto our level. At that remark, we couldn’t keep silent any longer.

<Yeerked?>

"Yaah!" He jumped backwards.

"What’s infested?" He looked confused.

<These people are even bigger morons than I thought at first,> Cassie whispered to me. I suppressed a laugh.

Suddenly, Rachel - the other Rachel, not our Rachel - jumped onto the Hispanic boy and began kissing him madly. Had I been a human, I would have raised an eyebrow and slowly backed away. But, seeing as I wasn’t, I just took a few steps backwards.

<Um…no comment to that,> Marco muttered, including everyone in his thought speech. Rachel quickly got away from the Hispanic boy and began to coolly examine her nails as if nothing had happened.

"So, anyway, like, who are you birdies?" she asked us, never lifting her eyes from her nails.

<We’re…um…well, we’re you. I think.>

Her eyes widened as she looked up at us.

<Should we demorph?> Tobias asked me privately. <Or morph, in my case.>

<Yeah.> Then, repeating Tobias’s message to everyone, <Everyone demorph. But get ready to morph into something more deadly if you need to.> I began demorphing to human along with everyone else. Tobias morphed to human, and Ax demorphed to his scary, way-too-hairy Andalite form.

"Hey!" Jake exclaimed as I finished demorphing. "You’re that new kid!"

"Boy, you sure do catch on quickly," I retorted.

His eyes darkened. "He’s been Yeerked!" He began morphing to tiger again. I glared at him and followed suit. Unfortunately, he was a much faster morpher than me. Before I was even halfway done, he had completed his morph and pounced on me. I closed my eyes, waiting for him to knock my mutating head from my shoulders.

But then, he stopped. <Uh, what do I do now?> he asked.

Marco towered up behind him. The big, muscular, hairy version of Marco. He had morphed to gorilla while we were preparing to fight. He bodily yanked Jake off of me and tossed him aside casually. He went flying through the air and smashed into the barn wall, leaving a nice-sized dent.

<And once again, Super Marco saves the day.> He flexed his muscles.

<Give me a break,> I muttered, righting myself and charging towards Jake. He was dazed and disorientated from being thrown into six inches of wood and steel. He barely even seemed to notice as I coiled my hind legs and pushed off, sailing towards him. Just a few more inches and I would -

There was a sudden, bright flash of light. I was no longer in the barn. Instead, I was hovering in what looked a lot like the atmosphere of Earth.

HELLO, JAKE.

The voice echoed around me, filling my mind and ears at the same time, yet I could not figure out where it was coming from.

"Ellimist!" I whispered.

He - she - whoever it was - laughed. YES, OF COURSE. YOU WERE RIGHT IN BELIEVING THAT I PLAYED A ROLE IN THIS.

"But why?" I questioned. "Why send us here? Why lead us to these complete and utter idiots that seem like they are supposed to be like us, but aren’t?"

He suddenly grew somber. BECAUSE YOU NEED TO WARN YOUR WORLD. THOSE OTHER ANIMORPHS THAT YOU SAW ARE SLOWLY KILLING OF THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN YOU - NOT IN BODY, BUT IN SPIRIT. THEY ARE FORCING PEOPLE TO TURN AWAY FROM YOUR EXPLOITS BY ACTING LIKE THE MORONS THAT THEY ARE. PEOPLE ARE BEGINNING TO THINK THAT THEY ARE AN ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF THE REAL ANIMORPHS, AND HAVE LOST FAITH THAT YOU WILL EVER STOP THE INVASION.

I frowned. "So you want me to warn everyone about this?"

YES.

"How?"

YOU WILL FIND A WAY. And with that, I once again felt as if I was plummeting towards the ground, with nothing to stop me.

I landed on the ground hard and winced as my feet absorbed the impact. The others were nearby, all of them looking more than a bit confused.

"Ooookay. Do I even want to know what just happened?" Marco said. Then he answered his own question. "No, I don’t."

I laughed. But inside, I was turning the Ellimist’s words around in my head. How could I warn everyone about the other Animorphs? I came up with several ideas before finally settling on the same method I had used to tell the world about the Yeerk invasion.

I would write it down.

And so, you have just read my warning. Do not be fooled. The other Animorphs are not the same as us. If you see them, just turn and walk in the opposite direction. Never lose faith in us.

Because unlike some people, we are not idiots.

What, why are you smirking? We’re not!

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