Beginnings

How can the Fates make one find
A love that cannot possibly last
When one was going home
To escape the Shadows of the Past

     Tobias smoothed down his shirt. An hour earlier, Jordan had announced dinner would be at seven, when Naomi was expected.
     This, Tobias thought to himself, will be an interesting dinner.
     A bang signaled the closing of a door.
     "Tobias!" Marco's voice flowed from downstairs. "Naomi's home."
     Tobias headed downstairs.
     Naomi froze when she saw him, her coat only halfway off.
     Tobias shot Marco an anxious look. <You didn't tell her I was coming?>
     Marco jerked with surprise at hearing thought-speak but quickly recovered. He laid a gentle hand on Naomi's shoulder. "It's Tobias, remember? I told you about it last week. He's come to visit."
     "Oh." Naomi blinked. "Of course. Your old school friend, right? I'm sorry. For a minute I thought he was someone else." She turned, blustering, and went into the kitchen.
     Marco sent Tobias a hasty look over his shoulder and mouthed 'later'. He followed Naomi away.
     Tobias stood there on the landing, in shock.
     Jordan looked up at him. "She doesn't remember the War."
     "Nothing?"
     "After Rachel left, she had a breakdown. Then three years in psyche, and she came home and just forgot the ground war ever happened.
     "She thinks Rachel died in a car accident."
     Tobias could only stare.
     "Come on." Jordan sighed and looked at the ground. "We better go to dinner before she thinks something's wrong."
     Tobias could only wordlessly follow Jordan.

     Jordan carefully poured out the red wine.
     "Is it a special occasion?" Her mom asked innocently.
     "We've got a guest, Mom." Jordan forced a smile. In her heart she knew they were celebrating the day the ground war ended.
     "Oh, well, yes, of course." She smiled.
     Jordan served the casserole and struggled to keep the tears from falling. Life in this house was and always would be fake.
     Naomi talked about work and how her latest client was on trial for fraud, and how difficult it would be to defend him.
     To Jordan’s ears, it was merely babble. Her family was fraud. That was what mattered.
     Naomi had her job. Sara had school. And she, Jordan could only sit there and wonder what had changed in the twelve years she was gone.

     Tobias could feel the unusual atmosphere around him. Not quite coldness, more like lack of warmth. Lack of love. Lack of family.
     No...Not quite. Naomi acted like a mother to Marco and Sara, but Sara ignored everyone except Marco, and Jordan was separate from them all. Marco, Tobias noted, was the only one acting normally.
     Naomi picked up a roll and turned to Tobias. "Now, what did you say your name was?"
     "Tobias. Tobias Fangor."
     "Ah... I heard you’re a military man."
     "Retired now, actually."
     Naomi beamed. "How nice. You worked with those Andalites then?"
     "Yes."
     "Why, the other day, Marco was telling me about that treaty they're drawing up!"
     Marco nodded. "The Interstellar Free Trade Treaty. It's going well."
     "So. How long have you two know each other?"
     "Well..." Tobias hesitated. "For quite a few years, but our jobs have kept us separate until recently."
     "You must have been very close."
     "Yeah. We were good friends and teammates, but after the Wa-"
     Someone kicked him sharply in the shins.
     Oh right. No War.
     "Teammates in what?"
     "Uh...baseball."
     "Oh, how interesting! Now what were you going to say?"
     "The Wa-er...Wa-Watercrest game! That was the last game of the season, and then we headed in different directions. I've been in space for the past ten years."
     "Nice save." Jordan hissed into his ear.
     They ate in relative silence after that. Sara talked about school and how so-and-so was having a party and the dress someone else bought for Prom.
     Tobias realized he had never gone to his Prom. They never had one.
     Tobias glanced at Jordan next to him, and he realized that while the War had changed his life, it must have altered hers a great deal more.
     He did not regret the War. It was horrible, but it was no worse than his childhood.
     But Jordan...Jordan must have lost everything.
     He remembered her. Perhaps she remembered him, perhaps not, but he would always remember her.
     She had saved his life.
     Ten years ago, a young girl with large brown eyes and a missing leg found him and removed the shrapnel from his heart.
     She was different now. She was no longer a child.
     The flower had finally bloomed.

     Jordan chewed.
     She chewed and swallowed and didn't taste any of it.
     Her family used to be so talkative at dinner. Now the words were empty and meaningless. Sara flirting. Marco joking. Naomi nodding and smiling.
     Things had changed so much.
     She had changed too. Perhaps the most of them all.
     She even looked different. She had matured and grown taller; her hair faded from brown to blond, a result of sunlight and radiation no one could quite explain.
     She was more quiet now, more thoughtful.
     And more angry.
     Angry at her family, angry at her life, angry at the world.
     She had said no.
     Lawrence had asked to move in with him after graduation.
     He would be going to the law school; she had been accepted to Harvard Medical.
     After dating for five years it was clearly the next step.
     She would pursue her M.D. and he his license. They would live together and save money and get married afterwards.
     He thought she would say yes. So did she.
     But she didn't.
     She realized she had sat through years of class never knowing why or what she was working for.
     So she said no.
     She left and came home.
     Except home wasn't home anymore.

     Tobias stared out the window and wondered.
     What was he doing here? In this house, in these people's lives. What was he looking for?
     It's just the wedding. You're just here for the wedding.
     And after?
     What then?
     You got a job to do here too don't forget that.
     Think about it later.
     "Tobias."
     He turned to see Marco in the doorway. "Hi."
     Marco flopped onto his bed. "Some day, huh?"
     "Yeah."
     "What's with Jor?"
     "She's mad at me."
     "Why?"
     "I called her Rachel by mistake."
     "She'll get over it."
     Tobias only nodded.
     "Hey." Marco pursed his lips and looked at Tobias. "This starting over thing ain't easy, but it does get better."
     
     He quickly read the message.
     The address was that of a ranch in Texas. A satellite picture was attached. 24-hour surveillance should be available in a day or so.
     Phone records showed that she had called no one unusual.
     Good.
     He deleted the message and erased all traces of its presence from the hard drive.
     The message gone, Tobias turned off the computer.
     
      Jordan glanced at Marco's packed bag. "Where are you going?"
     "Washington."
     "Washington? With Naomi?"
     "Sort of. Her firm's handling some of the legal issues."
     Jordan shivered. Public revelation of Z-Space theory... "You think it'll go through?"
     "I don't know. The potential is great for both good and evil. Z-Space technology for humans is like the Elbachi equation. We could save lives and solve a lot of problems, or we could kill us all."
     "Marco..." Jordan hesitated. "Good luck."
     
     Tobias sipped his coffee. "So it's just the two of us, huh?"
     Jordan didn't look up from her breakfast. "Yeah. Sara'll be gone ‘til nine. They're having dress rehearsal today."
     "Ah."
     Silence.
     "Tobias..." Jordan hesitated.
     "Jordan—" He said at the same time.
     "You first." Jordan said.
     "I'm sorry."
     "Me, too."
     "For what?" Tobias asked with surprise.
     "For snapping at you the other day."
     "No, no, it was my fault. I shouldn't have-"
     She held up a hand. "Forget it. Start over."
     Tobias nodded and turned back to his coffee. "Jordan, if you don't mind me asking..."
     Jordan hesitated then said, "Go ahead."
     "What..." Tobias searched for the right words. "happened between you and Rachel?"
     Jordan shrugged. "She...left. Us. She just walk out, and you know what? I even told her to go."
     "So why the animosity?"
     Jordan swallowed. "I didn't want her to leave, but I knew that was what she wanted."
     "Jordan..."
     "She wanted you, not us. She left this family, and this family fell apart without her."
     "I don't understand... You-"
     "Every family needs a leader. Rachel was ours. I thought... I thought we could make it without her. And we did, sort of." Jordan stopped to collect her thoughts. "I left for school. Sara stayed with Jake's family while Naomi went to psyche, and now... Now we're a different sort of family."
     "I-I don't understand."
     "There's Naomi, the Miracle Worker, Marco, the successful oldest, Sara, the sheltered young one, and me, the jealous middle sister.
     "When Rachel left this family, this family had to forget about her and move on."
     "But she never forgot you."
     "She didn't?"
     "She loved you guys. She always did."
     "She left."
     "There was a war. She had to fight. Do you really think she was happier out there? She would have rather we stayed and built a family here."
     "How do you know?"
     "Jordan... I've never told anyone this, but..." Tobias stared out the window and a tear ran down his cheek. "Rachel was pregnant when she died."
     "What?"
     "She always said she wanted a family someday, and that she didn't want to raise a kid in space." Tobias continued, almost to himself. "She used to ask me if it was okay if we moved back someday to have a family. And she said this one time, she knew what she wanted to name our first child,
     "and I asked her, 'What?',
     "and she said, 'No matter if it's a girl or a boy, I want to name it Jordan."
     Jordan's cup fell with a clatter and coffee sloshed all over the table.
     "It was a girl." Tobias whispered. "I didn't find out until after, when her doctor told me. She was two months pregnant. She wanted to surprise me.
     "That was supposed to be the last mission. It's too dangerous to morph after ten weeks." Tobias looked at Jordan. "We would have come back."
     "Oh, God..."
     "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"
     "No. Thanks for telling me. Just, please, don't tell Mom."
     Tobias looked up. "You called her 'Mom'."
     Jordan blinked. "I did, didn't I? It's been a long time."
     "Start over?"
     "Start over."

     "Mmhhhh..." Tobias stuck his head in the kitchen door. "What are you cooking, Jordan? Smells heavenly!"
     Jordan laughed. "Trying to get on my good side, are you? It's just spaghetti sauce."
     "Well," Tobias crossed the kitchen in two huge steps and grabbed the wooden stirring spoon away from Jordan. "It just so happens that I haven't had spaghetti sauce in a very long time." He tested the edge of the spoon with his tongue. "Yum. But hot." He added.
     Jordan laughed and took the spoon back. "Get outta here, you."
     Tobias pouted. "I don't get to help?"
     "You know how to cook?" Jordan asked skeptically.
     "Only rations." Tobias admitted sheepishly. "But I can still manage to keep spaghetti from burning."
     "Really?" Jordan slowly smiled. "In that case, you should get started on the duck de l'orange."
     "DUCK DE L'ORANGE?!" Tobias asked in shock.
     Jordan doubled over laughing. "No, of course not!"
     Tobias blinked. "What?"
     "I was kidding! You should have seen the look on your face!" Jordan continued laughing.
     "Why, you little..." Tobias grabbed the salt container and held it threateningly at Jordan.
     "Eek!" Jordan turned and ran as a sprinkle of table salt hit her.
     Tobias chased Jordan around the kitchen, into the family room, through the dining room, and back into the kitchen. Jordan quickly threw open a cupboard door and grabbed the first thing her hand laid on, which turned out to be a bag of flour.
     She turned gleefully and held the bag in front of her. "Hah! I've got the power now!"
     Tobias skidded to a stop and narrowed his eyes. "Oh, yeah?" Suddenly, he sprang and tackled Jordan. The bag of flour fell from her hands and landed upside down on his head.
     Jordan tried to squirm away, but Tobias manage to hold on. White powder swirled around them, making them both cough.
     Tobias sat up and laughed. "Jordan, you're completely covered in flour!" And she was. There was flour all over her clothes, her skin, in her hair, and even on her eyelashes.
     "So are you!" Jordan retorted. Then her eyes widened. "Oh, no!
     Tobias frowned. "What?" Then he smelled it. Something was burning.
     Jordan jumped up and dashed to the stove. "The spaghetti!"
     Tobias followed her and grimaced when he saw it. The sauce was now a burned mess.
     Jordan turned off the stove and shoved the pot in the sink, filling it with cool water.
     Sighing, she said, "So much for dinner."
     "It's okay." Tobias shrugged. "It's just the two of us, after all. Sara's not eating with us. We can just order a pizza."
     "I suppose..." Jordan hesitated. "But we'll have to clean up this mess first."
     Tobias looked around and almost laughed. The kitchen looked like it had fallen victim to a recent snowstorm.
     "Tell you what, Jordan," he said, "you go change and take a shower. I'll clean the floor. Then we'll switch, and you can order pizza and get everything for dinner."
     "Alright." Jordan headed up the stairs.
     Tobias dusted himself off and got the vacuum out of the closet.
     
     The hot spray ran down Jordan's back, and she sighed with content. Thinking back, she hadn't had this much fun in years.
     Tobias was such a sweet guy. No wonder Rachel loved him.
     No wonder she loved him too.
     She had never stopped, had she? She had put that love on hold. But now...
     Tobias was here.
     And Rachel was gone.
     Jordan shivered despite the heat around her. Such horrible thoughts, for her to go after her sister's husband.
     And yet...
     He's not married anymore. Rachel's dead. He's not hers anymore. He's free. And I can have him.
     Jordan quickly shut off the shower. This was crazy. This was completely crazy.
     She stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself. Tobias was off-limits. He had to be. She opened the door. The faster she got away from this muddling steam, the better.
     Jordan looked up, and there he was.

     Tobias's mouth dropped open. A dripping wet Jordan in only a small clingy towel was not what he expected, and yet he couldn't help but think that she looked very sexy at that moment. "Jordan! I-I'm sorry. I knocked, and your door was unlocked..." His voice faded as he ran out of things to say.
     You idiot! His brain yelled. Now she's going to think you're a jerk.
     "It's okay." Jordan blushed. "The shower was probably loud, and I didn't hear you. Don't worry about it, I don't mind- I mean, it's not your fault, I-" She stopped suddenly.
     I don't mind. Tobias felt his cheeks grow hot. Did she mean what he thought she did? "I, uh, should, uh, probably go now." Tobias tried to avoid looking at Jordan.
     "Yeah, I... I guess you should." She now seemed fascinated with a spot on the carpet.
     He didn't move. He just stood there, and all sorts of thoughts flew through his mind. The most prominent one being the repetition of two names.
     Jordan. Rachel. Jordan Rachel. Jordan. Rachel.
     Tobias shook himself mentally. He loved Rachel. He always would. Jordan just reminded him of her, that was all. No other reason he felt this way.
     None.
     Tobias hurried back out the door, yet a small part of his mind wanted nothing more than to kiss Jordan.

     Jordan got dressed hurriedly, making sure she wasn't wearing anything that could be taken as suggestive.
     whywhywhywhywhy
     I'm in love with my sister's widower. Jordan thought to herself. That's wrong.
     Isn't it?
     She called the pizza place and ordered a large pepperoni with extra cheese. Sara could have any leftovers if she was still hungry when she got back.
     Jordan got out plates and forks and turned on the news.
     "And today, at Alliance headquarters in Toronto, leaders from the Andalite government and military, the Alliance and the UN, as well as representatives from social, environmental, and scientific groups gathered for a round of talks on the possible public revelation of currently classified Z-Space theory and technology.
     "Widely supported by scientists in all fields, the plan is opposed by groups fearing misuse of such information, including Zero Weapons.
     "At the center of this controversy is Dr. Marco Elonzo, head of the only Alliance research lab currently in possession of the debated data. He arrived here in Toronto today, as well as Andalite military representative Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill. Ambassador Jacob Robertson and his wife Cassandra Robertson, Alliance liaison to the UN, arrived yesterday, ready to begin the talks."
     The screen shifted and Jake's face appeared. The caption read: Amb. Jacob Robertson (Andalite). "I'm hopeful we can find a balance here. I think this is the right time. People are ready. The War's been over for ten years and we've rebuilt our world. It's time to move onward and join our friends in space."
     The camera went back to the reporter. "Regretfully, the highest ranking human officer in the Andalite military, Prince Lt. Commander Tobias Fangor, will not be attending the summit due to scheduling conflicts." The screen changed to show a picture of a bearded man in uniform. "He is unable to return and will remain in deep space. However, he expressed his support for the goal of the summit in a written statement released to the Associated Press yesterday."
     Jordan sat there, shaking. She could her heart hammering in her chest.
     Tobias in deep space. Statements to the press.
     Jordan shivered. If Tobias was out there, who was in her house?
     Some nut was living here masquerading as Tobias! My God, he had nearly seen her naked!
     She slowly arose and slipped into the kitchen. It was empty. Tobias, or the man who called himself Tobias, must still be in the shower. She grabbed a frying pan and tiptoed up the stairs.
     
     Tobias quickly scrubbed the flour from his hair. It was all clump-y.
     Damnit, I can't believe I thought Jordan looked sexy! He smacked himself in the head. How could I do that? This is Jordan here. My sister-in-law! Isn't that illegal?
     Tobias growled to himself. This was crazy, and he had to sort out his feelings before...
     Before he acted on them.
     Tobias turned off the water. He couldn't do that. He couldn't hurt Jordan that way. And he couldn't betray Rachel.
     The shower curtain flew back with a jerk, revealing a shocked Jordan.
     "Shit!" Tobias yelled jumping back. He grabbed the curtain and pulled it over, covering his private parts. "Goddamnit, Jordan, what the hell are you doing here?!" He demanded angrily.
     Jordan still looked freaked out but calmer than a moment ago. Her mouth was no longer agape, and her eyes were back to normal size. "I should ask you the same question! In fact, I'm asking you right now!"
     "What? I'm taking a shower. I told you that!"
     "No, what are you doing here. In my house."
     Tobias blinked. "Marco invited me?"
     Jordan looked like she was about to slap him. "Marco invited Tobias, not you, you impostor!"
     Tobias blinked. "I'm not Tobias?"
     "Don't play games with me," she growled. "I want the truth, and I want it now. Who are you?"
     Only then did Tobias notice the frying pan in her hand. He gulped. Jordan was serious. And nuts.
     He assessed the situation. Jordan had a frying pan on him, but he was taller and heavier than she was. He could probably take her, but that would mean letting go of the shower curtain...
     He decided to try the diplomatic route. "Er... I am Tobias, Jordan. I don't know what makes you think I'm not, but I am."
     "Liar! I saw you in the news. They had a picture of Tobias and it looked nothing like you! They said you were in deep space."
     Tobias winced. "Oh, that." badbadbad
     "So you admit it?"
     "No! They're wrong! That picture is me. I look different with a beard." Tobias said defensively.
     "What about the statement?"
     "Statement?"
     "They said you gave a written statement yesterday."
     "Ah, shit, Galuit."
     "What?"
     "Look, Jordan, the Andalite military is lying about my whereabouts."
     "Why?"
     "Because I told them to. Something went wrong with a mission, Jordan, and the public can't know. That's why I'm here. That's why I'm not at that summit. And that's why no one can know where Tobias Fangor is."
     "Why the hell not?"
     "I can't tell you that."
     "Then why should I believe you?"
     "Because you want to trust me."
     
     Jordan stared. Because you want to trust me? What kind of answer was that?
     Except... Except he was right. She did want to trust him. She wanted to believe, because if he was telling the truth, she still had a chance with him.
     "I do." Jordan slowly traced the outline of Tobias's cheekbone with her finger, as if testing if he was tangible and real. "I really do."
     "Then trust me."
     A flood of emotions churned inside her. This man was asking her to believe him on the basis of nothing. And yet... No, not nothing. He was asking her to believe him on the basis of her love.
     "Okay."
     Jordan backed away and out of the bathroom. Life wasn't supposed to be this way, but it was.
     You weren't suppose to fall in love with your dead sister's husband, but she did.

     Jordan curled up on the couch, staring out the window. A million thoughts ran through her mind, but none were coherent. Fragments of past memories came and left, leaving her with an inexplicable sorrow.
     Footsteps thumped down the stairs.
     "Jordan?"
     She looked up. "Hmm?"
     "Do you love me?" He asked plainly.
     Her heart skipped a beat. She couldn't find any words to say and simply looked at him.
     "Please, I need to know." His face was twisted with an odd sort of pain.
     "Yes. How could you tell?"
     "If you didn't, you wouldn't have trusted me."
     "Oh." She felt like there was a black hole in the pit of her stomach, eating away at her. He must hate her now.
     "Jordan..." Tobias walked over and took her hand. "You're a wonderful person-"
     "But I'm not Rachel." She whispered.
     "No, you're not Rachel. You are a beautiful, talented, smart, kind, funny person."
     Jordan looked at the hand that was holding hers, smooth and strong, just a size bigger than her own.
     "I never thought I would love anyone else after Rachel, but when I saw you, I wasn't so sure anymore."
     Jordan looked up. Was he saying that...
     "Jordan, I honestly don't know what this thing I'm feeling is, but..." Tobias stopped. "It's been eight years. And I've never tried to move on, but I'd like to try with you."
     Jordan stood, his hand still interlocked with hers, and found that she was crying. "I'd like that too." She leaned forward her chin tilted up, and his lips lowered to meet hers.
     The kiss was bittersweet. The pain of the years intermingled with the guilt and fear they both felt, but there was also a loneliness that needed to be satisfied.
     The kiss was hesitant at first but then deepened as all doubt faded. This was right. This was so right.
     She loved him, and he loved her, and neither his ghosts nor her shadows could ever change that.

     Something had changed inside him. Some spark that vanished eight long years ago had returned.
     He loved her. He knew that, if nothing else.
     But he was afraid. Afraid of his past, afraid of hers. Afraid of the past they shared together.
     He was afraid of Rachel, afraid that what he had with her before would destroy his happiness now.
     No, his dead wife would not return as a vengeful spirit, bent on killing him, but Rachel had left her mark on the world, and on him, and that mark could never be removed.
     She could keep them apart simply because she loved him.
     And because he loved her.

     The house was empty. Sara was at school; Jordan was out shopping.
     Tobias took out his computer.
     The device was small, about the size of the old CDs. It projected a holographic screen and took thought-speech commands. Andalite technology of course.
     It took several minutes to get a secure Z-Space link.
     <Red-hawk to Four-eyes. You there?>
     An Andalite face appeared, not amused. <Those were not the codenames we agreed on.>
     <Nevermind that.> Tobias waved it off. <No one's listening in.>
     <What have you found?>
     <It appears Alex was lied to.>
     <By who?>
     <An Andalite high up who wanted to sabotage the treaty.> Tobias’s face was grim.
     <But the treaty process is going well.>
     <If this comes out, it will derail it. The two parties will become distrustful of each other.>
     <Then we must keep this silent until after it is signed.>
     A pause. <That may be difficult. Whoever is behind this must be in the Electorate.>
     <In that case...>
     <He will be removed.>
     Tobias suddenly turned. Was that the garage door he heard?
     <Go!> He terminated the call with a swift stroke.
     The car door slammed closed.
     Tobias unhooked the link-up and slipped the computer into his pocket.
     The door opened.
     "Tobias?"
     "Hey, Jordan!" He called back.
     Tobias checked the room one last time to make sure he had left nothing conspicuous and left to join Jordan in the kitchen.

     The days and weeks passed. The summit ended successfully, with a plan to release all Zero-space data gradually in the next five years.
     And through all that, Tobias found himself falling in love with the beautiful young lady at his side.
     It wasn't that she was like Rachel, in fact, there were a lot of ways they differed, but Jordan did remind him of Rachel. Her smile, the way she walked, her determination...
     But Jordan did not have Rachel's confidence, nor her anger. Tobias could tell Jordan had a lot of pent-up of anger and hate inside her, but it wasn't inherent, just what she had picked from the War.
     Jordan didn't go looking for a fight, just defended herself when there was one.
     And she was quieter, more subtle. She planned and watched and played her cards. She could read people the way Cassie could, but she was much colder. She had learned during the War to control her emotions.
     And he liked that she depended on him for love, not to keep her sane. She was funny. She liked to laugh, and she was kind.
     No, she was not Rachel. She looked like Rachel, but inside she was different.
     She was, Tobias thought, more suited to him than Rachel. All of Rachel's good qualities and none of her dangerous ones.
     It was a cruel thought to think, but it was the truth. Jordan was the sister he should have met first.
     Except she wasn't.
     He had met Rachel first. And he still loved her.
     But he loved Jordan too.

     Marco leaned back into the couch after listening to Tobias's account of his dilemma. "Man, that's harsh."
     "I know."
     "You want my advice? Stick with it. Jordan and you... I can't say I don't find it weird, but if you really love her, man, don't let go, or you'll lose your chance."
     "I know, but..."
     "What do you have to lose?"
     "The woman I love."
     Marco frowned. "And who's that?"
     "That's the problem. I don't know."

     Tobias knocked on the door. "Jordan?"
     "Come in."
     She was sitting on her bed, watching TV.
     She looked up. "Hey, Tobias."
     "Hey." He sat down next to her. "Can we talk?"
     "Okay." She muted the TV.
     "I was thinking. About us." He paused. "We- I love you, and you love me, and I look at Marco and Lydia, and they're so happy, and I wonder why we're not like that."
     Jordan said nothing.
     "I mean, we deserve that, don't we?" Tobias continued, as if trying to convince himself rather than Jordan. "We deserve to be happy."
     "Yes, we do," Jordan whispered.
     "But we've always been so afraid. Of the past. Of the future..." He stopped and took her hand in his. "We have to trust this. Us. Our love."
     "I trust you."
     "Jordan," He paused, "I know it won't be easy, but I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
     Jordan looked up into Tobias's eyes. "Are you-"
     "Will you marry me?"

     She didn't know what to say. She did love him. Enough to want to marry him. But their lives weren't as simple as that.
     "How do you know what you want?" She finally whispered. "How can anyone be know...if they love someone so much they're sure they want to spend the rest of their life with them?"
     Tobias stroked her hair. He didn't answer the question she asked, but rather the one she didn't; the one caught in her heart, afraid to be let out.
     "I know because every time I look at you, my heart skips a beat, and every moment you're away, it hurts so bad it's almost physical. I know we belong together because I'm not complete without you. And nothing, nothing, will ever change that."
     Jordan turned. "Do you love me, Tobias?"
     "Yes, I do."
     Jordan nodded and turned her gaze back to the TV. "Okay. Okay, I'll marry you."









Shadows of Ra -Part 5
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