Hello, I am Kenneth Roberts--creator of this page (ain't I pertyful? (i scanned my face)). Fruity SPAM tastes good.
§ Um, this is my new section
Screw everything below this!!! I don't want to read through it and see what I have and haven't updated. So...what's new in my life?....well...I've had a girlfriend for 9 months, she's pretty groovy :) I gotta tell the truth though...I haven't updated in a while...and I thought about abandonning this page and let it break itself down...but then I noticed a link on a wrestling site I've been going to for forever, and now I post way too often on the Message Board there. Now a lot of the people there come visit my page, so I thought I'd give a shout out to them and tell them that they are the ones responsible for my updating...so congrats, I guess :)
Space Ghost
Brak is cool. You may know Brak from the cartoon Cartoon Planet (spinoff of Space Ghost: Coast to Coast). I like his performances from Cartoon Planet. The original Space Ghost cartoon is retarded. Do you like Space Ghost??? DO YA?? This link for Brak Sounds may or may not be working now, but hear my hero in action....and yes, Brak IS god so do not resist his charm and he will make you all better. I will have sounds on the Brak page in coming days. I have two Brak shirts, one that says "All Hail Brak" and another that says "My monkey ate my homework" I also have a Space Ghost shirt "Don't make me use my Spank Ray". Watch this show sometime, you'll have a blast.
§ Opinions
In case you didn't notice, this is my opinions part of the me page. You can learn more about me in the section comically titled "More about me". Haha, I love that title, so humorous.
§ South Park
South Park also rox....I, like Kenny (I am Kenny) die every Wednesday....I will even die before your eyes if you go to the punch me page. I got a buncha SP stuff for Christmas. Shirts, boxers, wind up toys, stuffed dolls, ties, etc. They are groovy, are you? By the way, South Park the movie FUKIN ROCKED
§ School
I hate school, but am good at it anyway. Currently I am a Senior...wanna see my schedule? Now complete with grades....
1st Computer Programming (program in freaking PASCAL, what's the point?) grade=A....how easy was this class? A WASTE OF MY TIME
2nd US Government (the teacher is kuwl but she makes us memorize cases, pointless) grade=A....i don't know who's ass i pulled this out of
3rd English (dropped outta AP cuz it was kickin my ass, this class rox, the teacher likes medieval stuff) grade=B+...not bad considering i basically shit on the final
4th Calculus (class is a bit challenging, but I have an A, the teacher is my fave) grade=A...easy, Kane rulz
5/6th Concert Choir (Easy class, it rox, our trip is to New York City, KICK ASS) grade=A...who can't get an a in choir?
7th Photography (easy, fun class, boring at times....) grade=A....boring.....
8th Drama (AWESOME, fave class, do nothing, but everything, fun fun fun) grade=A...fun class
In case you care....here is my report card for my junior year classes:
French IV________B
Precalculus________A
English 11________B (I got screwed in the class, this WILL NOT be my final grade)--I FRIGGIN TOLD YOU SO!!! I HAVE AN A NOW BABY!!!!
Honors Physics________A (I have no idea how)
Japanese I________A++ (I got higher than a 105, kick ass)
U.S. History_______A
§ Relationships....RELATIONSHIPS?? as KT would say "marym"....*sigh* I'm happy....it's all HER fault (marym)....I'm not "single"....I was made to change this....li amo principessa *grin*
§ Comic Man yanketh
I am considered funny by some people....yes, haha funny. I can't tell jokes I just make fun of stuff a certain way that is psychotically funny and people laugh sometimes. And please, no more requests to watch me rape chickens.........or sheep......I don't need requests.
§ Spare Time
In my spare time I occasionnaly create pictures of stuff, of course, it might help if I had an updated page to put them on. I don't ever update my page, just tell your friends to come here to kill Hanson, and they should because EVERYONE SHOULD KILL HANSON!!! I also play MUD a lot. It takes up much time. It's fun tho.
§ Plays
Midsummernight's Dream--Last year (96) I was in a play called "A Midsummernight's Dream" and it was so worthless that I don't even remember my character's name. I was also in another play, maybe you've heard of it.
Wizard of Oz--It's called "The Wizard of Oz". Heard of it? Well, in it, I play the servant to Oz (named George, I retreive and give out the Heart, Diploma and Courage and do some acting as this character AND I SCREAM LIKE A GIRL!!!!!!!), member of the Ozzian Army (I dance and do more acting during this), miscellaneous chorus singer (I come out at different parts of the show and sing songs), and an Ozzian (miscellaneous characters and citizens of Oz, we sing and my little group on one side of the stage keeps Dorothy in Oz, hahahhaha). In Drama, I'm in other plays as well.
An Actor's Nightmare--in this play, the main character doesn't know his lines, and he's in three different plays. I'm the executioner (from A Man for All Seasons) and I kill the main character. Yay.
Sorry, Wrong Number--A reader's theatre piece. A helpless woman stumbles into a phone call describing her murder, but she duzn't know. I play the part of an ---- policeman that has better things to do than listen to a boring woman with nothing worth listening to. (reader's theatre is no moving, just saying lines, like on the radio).
Seven Brides For Seven Brothers--in this play guys steal chicks from the suitors (i'm a suitor-the oldest) and i basically get shit on the whole time....
§ Self Insults
I consider myself a loser because I suck. Don't ask me what I mean by that, I just typed it because it was the first thing that came to my pathetic mind. I'm hard on myself, hehehehe, whatever....people say that I'm hard on myself, well, I'm not. I just face the facts and people get pissed at that. Not my problem. The way I explain myself is like this: I have a high level of self esteem, but I also have a great sense of humor, which lets me make fun of myself without hurting my own feelings. hehehe
§ Movies
The three coolest movies of all time are the Star Wars Trilogy (three movies, hence the name). If you have ever heard of Monty Python you are considered cool by me. If you have ever seen a Monty Python movie I will worship you. If you recite lines from Monty Python and the Holy Grail I might just join you because that is very extremely cool. Mr. Bean is the rockinest cat on the block. He had a movie out and it rocked. I also like the Die Hard Trilogy and any other Bruce Willis Movie. I love The Fifth Element cuz it rocks as well. I recently saw The Truman Show. I loved it but my bro didn't like it. I think he has some sort of mental problem. hehehe....HI JOHN
§ More About Me
I was born on May 15, 1981 at 2:47 a.m. Do you realize how early 2:47 is in the morning, that is like 2:47 p.m. except a.m.
§ Car
That means I am 18, I have my liscense and a car stereo, and a car (sorta). The car is really nothing to brag about. It's an '86 Pontiac which is many colors (one among many is rust). UPDATE!! My car has been painted!!! It is a metallic blue now! Early June some drunken speeding guy went through a red light and killed my car.
§ My Name
I was named James Kenneth Roberts, because that is what I'm called.
§ What Passes For A Life
I graduated James Wood High School in 1999 and have no life outside of computers (not even a girlfriend technically...(I don't even have a life inside computers)). I'm hoping that a friend of mine will hire me for his homepage writing business (you know, he gives me the little dinky jobs that he doesn't want to waste his time on). I don't think I'll get a job but hey, I can dream. hehe
§ More Self Insults
As you can tell, I like stuff. I have a picture of myself on the page so you may see my loserosity.
§ French
If even then you are not convinced of my struggle of being un-cool, I say "Je suis le fromage." To find out what that means, go to any local french student and beat the hell out of them until they tell you and if they aren't a total nimrod they know what that means. French is fun until French 3, don't take French 4, you'll be bored off of your mite infested hair. I stopped at French 4 and opted not to take AP French (French 5). A friend of mine is taking AP French this year and she tells me she's pretty bored. I'M SORRY FOR ABANDONING YOU ALYSIA!!!
§ Idiot
I go as many aliases (because I am known to piss many people off who always try to crash me) they are: yanketh, WHIPMASTER K, LANCE!!!, BOURBON, BTW- Lancelot is my TRUE identity...hehehe..., q1, Anonymouse, Imperial Paintchip, and the HUE in DONNY HUE, or some variation of these.
§ Even More Self Insults
I am, in case you are wondering, a Bantha Fodder eating Nerf-Herder (don't say I'm wrong, proven fact it is). If you do say I'm wrong you are, therefore, wrong because you may not hold any powers above the head of the almighty yanketh (THE FIRST LETTER IN yANKETH SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE CAPITALIZED EXCEPT ON MAYBE PICTURES, IF I HAVE BROKEN MY OWN RULE THEN I DESERVE TO BE CANED). You can come back here to get updates on me yank~ Kenneth Roberts
This is my family.....you can figure out who everyone is on your own....that's my dad, mom, sister (Karen), brother (John), and me. This is just a pic of my brother, sister, and I. (during this pic my dad took these stuffed animals outta his pockets and started dancing with them or something (hence the smile)). To explain this phenomenon I have created an illustration.
"the fool that spoke too soon has already spoken"(quote from--kenneth roberts, mindless philosopher)
