Summary: After one too many close calls the walls start to come down Spoilers: Up to and including The Red and the Black Rating: PG, and some swearing Date: September 9, 1998 Archive anywhere you want, just keep my name on it and let me know you're doing it. Disclaimer: Their mines!!!!!! I have taken over ten thirteen and am holding Chris Carter at gun point, and you should see the things he's got Moose and Squirrel doing. And that was before the gun came out! (dominant personally shoves screaming lunatic personality out of the way) The characters in this story belong to the surfing god, FOX (freaking world series) and more importantly to DD and GA who make Mulder and Scully who they really are. This is my first attempt, feed back would be greatly appreciated. Flames will be used to fuel the camp fire for Parka!Mulder and Parka!Scully who are camping and have only one sleeping bag. Rehsup@aol.com And Down Come the Walls By: Lois Swan "Mulder!" Scully screamed as she fired into the dark, praying that she hit her target. A second shot rang out simultaneously from the darkness into which Scully had been firing. After the echoes from the guns' report had died away there was a dead silence. Disregarding all of her FBI training, Special Agent Dana Scully raced to the spot where she had last seen Mulder before the lights had gone out. "Fucking PECO," Scully muttered as she turned on her flashlight. Swinging the light in an arc, her heart stopped when the light reflected off something wet and red oozing from behind a crate. Her heart kicking into triple over time as she raced to the crate. "No!!" the scream caught in Scully's throat as she bolted up in bed, sending a bunch of case files and her laptop to the floor. As it was, the real bullet had grazed his temple. That had caused Mulder to stumble backwards, trip over some old wires and loose his balance. Mulder had hit his head on the corner of the wooden crate as he fell, knocking himself out. When Scully had first found him she had been sure that he was dead. In the darkness of the warehouse she had been unable to see the rise and fall of his chest. If she was really honest with herself, the only thing that had really registered was how still Mulder had been laying and the amazing amount of blood that had been pooling about his head. Scully had dropped down to her knees, running one of her hands gently over his head and through his hair looking for any wounds. With her other hand she had called for an ambulance. "Come on Mulder, you can't die. We have too much unfinished business, you and I. We have too much to talk about. Damn-it Mulder, you're not getting out of your well deserved ass-chewing this way, I won't let you." As she continued the steady stream of nonsense, hoping her voice would bring him back to her, Scully had been checking him out for any other possible injuries. When she moved around Mulder's body she had finally been able to see the source of all the blood. Apparently her bullet had not missed its mark after all, their informant/suspect was dead. Scully didn't even give the dead man a second glance, she was totally focused on helping Mulder. "There's so much blood coming out of his head," her mind had screamed at her. A smaller voice, the doctor's voice, the voice of reason, calmly explained that there was always a lot of blood when dealing with a head wound. It was to be expected. Still there was so much it. "Come on Mulder you have to wake up. You can't do this to me! We have so much work to do. You promised that you would do the paper work on this Mulder, you're not welshing out on me now." Nothing, not even the flickering of an eyelid. Mulder had been knocked out before, on quite a few occasions, but he had never stayed unconscious very long. Scully was beginning to feel panicked. "Come on Mulder wake up. Please Mulder open your eyes I can't finish this with out you!" Scully wasn't even registering the words that were leaving her mouth any more. "Where the fuck is that ambulance?!" "Such language from a nice Catholic girl," a weak voice whispered from her lap. "Mulder?!" She was almost afraid to believe that he was really coming to. "You were expecting Tom Cruise?" Mulder tried to sit up and just collapsed back into Scully's lap. A wave of nausea washing over him. "Don't move Mulder. I've called for an ambulance and it's on its way," As Scully finished speaking the faint wail of sirens could be heard coming closer over the raging storm out side. She had continued to gently stroke Mulder's hair, softly talking about nothing until the ambulance had arrived That had been over five hours ago, but Scully was still shaky. She got off her bed and went to the bathroom to splash some water on her face. Mulder had categorically refuse to spend the night in the hospital for observation. When the doctor had started to insist Mulder had given her his puppy dog look and said quietly that they had both already spent too much time in or next to hospital beds. "Damn that look," Scully muttered as she dried her face. Mulder knew she couldn't hold out on him when he gave her that lost puppy dog look of his. Scully had convinced his doctor that she could take care of Mulder herself, as she was a medical doctor. Plus she would get Mulder to stay in bed, even if she had to tie him to it. As they had been leaving the hospital Mulder had murmured into her ear, "You know what I like Scully!" It had taken her a second to figure out what he had been talking about. When she had Scully had just raised an eyebrow at his remark and kept walking, making sure that her hair had hid the small smile playing around her lips. Mulder was awake, half-sitting half laying in bed when Scully came into his room to check on him. Actually he had never been to sleep, despite doctor Scully's orders. There was something nagging at the back of his brain, just out of reach. He wasn't sure what it was, but he was sure it was vital that he remembered what it was. It was more then just part of the set up that had occurred earlier in the warehouse. It was something important that Scully had said to him when he had just been regaining consciousness. Every time Mulder thought he heard Scully's voice echoing in his mind he tried to grab on to it, but the memory just slipped away. It was a moment before Scully realized that Mulder was awake, he used that time to study her. She was a little paler then usual, but she had gained back all the weight that she had lost when she had been so sick. "Hey," Mulder called quietly, not wanting to startle her. Scully gave him a little smile in response. Moving over to the far side of the bed and patting the spot he had just vacated, hoping she'ld take his invitation. Mulder had heard Scully moaning in her sleep earlier and had just about decided to go and wake her up when she had abruptly woken herself up and gone into the bathroom. Knowing all about nightmares it had broken Mulder's heart that Scully now had some of her own horrific events to dream about because of him. "How are you?" he asked softly. "That's supposed to be my question. How's your head Mulder?" Scully asked as she sat down facing him in the spot he where had just been. The spot was still warm, she briefly wondered what it would be like to spend the night in that spot. Shaking her head slightly to clear it she got down to the reason she had come to Mulder's room. She checked his pupils and had him track her finger. She then took his pulse, it was a little fast, but well within the norm. "My head hurts a little, but nothing that a couple of extra strength Tylenol's couldn't dull." He wondered if Scully had noticed that his pulse had jumped when she had touched him. Part of him hoped that she had, a bigger part of him prayed that she hadn't. Mulder wasn't sure if he could handle Scully knowing how he felt right now. All of his emotions were too near the surface, they had been ever since her diagnosis of cancer. He had hit rock bottom when she had almost died from the cancer. For a few terrifying moments Mulder had hovered over the edge of the abyss and nearly gone over. There was no doubt in Mulder's mind that he would have died if she had. Maybe not right away, but he was sure that he would have joined her before too many months had passed. Belatedly Mulder realized that he had been staring at her. Mulder quickly dropped his eyes down to where his hands were fiddling with the television remote. His eyes flew back to Scully's face in shock when she gently brushed some hair off of his forehead. As he watched tears gathered in her eyes and one slowly leaked out and ran down her cheek. Without even thinking about it Mulder's hand came up to Scully's face and his thumb gently brushed the tear away. Slowly she turned her face into the soft caress, dropping her eyes to the remote that now sat in Mulder's lap. "Scully," she wouldn't meet his eyes, "Dana," that got her right away, "I'm alright. My head hurts a little, but I'm okay." Mulder gave her a little smile to reassure her. "I know Mulder, but one inch more and we wouldn't be sitting here talking about it." Scully reached up and gently touched the spot right above the bandage on his forehead. A shudder running through her as she again pictured him lying, bleeding on the warehouse floor. "It was too close Mulder." "It's always too close Scully, it's the nature of our jobs. It can't be helped." Mulder's voice was soft, his right hand was still caressing her cheek. Scully smiled at him sadly and nodded, both of them sharing the memories of the almosts, just misses and just in times. Suddenly, to Mulder, Scully looked much too young for all of this. Too young for any of it, too young to be a doctor, a FBI agent, a survivor of cancer, and of many other untold horrors. Sitting beside him in her FBI academy sweatshirt and a pair of boxers Scully looked to be all of nineteen. "Mulder you're a real bastard," he told himself, but he was too selfish to let her go, or even regret the events that had brought her into his life. Still her had to ask. "Why?" An arched eyebrow was his only response. "Why do you stay? After everything, why do you put up with it? With me?" Scully searched his face intently. Mulder wasn't sure what she was looking for, but for once he didn't put any of his walls up. He wasn't even sure that they would stay up any more any way. Not with her. Suddenly Scully gave a little nod, apparently satisfied with whatever she had read in his eyes. "Mulder," she said, still looking deeply into his eyes, into his soul, "I stay because of you, because of us." Mulder made a move to speak and Scully placed her fingers over his lips. It was the shocking intimacy of the touch rather then the touch itself which held Mulder silent. "I love this job, Mulder," Scully stated with a quite certainty. "This job, you, challenge me every day. Even after, no because of everything that we've been through, I want to keep looking to find the answers. But more then that Mulder, I love working with you. You make me stretch for the answers and question every thing I know or think I know. I could never go back to "regular" Bureau work again. These last five years have been the best of my life. It-" Utterly amazed by her last statement Mulder gaped at her. "Scully how can you say something like that. After everything we've been through, all the horrors. Every thing that has been done to you!" "Mulder," she picked up his hand which gone back to fiddling with the remote to make sure she had his undivided attention, "let me finish okay?" Mulder nodded determined to keep his mouth shut and let her finish out whatever it was she wanted to say. He noticed that Scully hadn't let his hand go. Knowing that he was pressing his luck, but wanting, needing, to see what her response would be Mulder slowly turned his hand and intertwined their fingers. Scully watched their hands for a few moments before she gave another almost undetectable nod and continued. "These past years have also been the most terrifying, horrific and saddest times of my life, but I still wouldn't trade any of it in for a "normal" life. Mulder before I came to work with you on the X-files I thought my life was complete. I had a good job, which I liked, a boyfriend that I was thinking of getting serious with, but despite all of that I was bored, not fully alive. You and I have lived dozens of life times in five short years and seen and experienced more then most people can even dream of. Through it all, the good and the bad, I have met and begun to understand one of the most unique and passionate people I have ever known." Scully paused for a second, her free hand coming to play with their intertwined fingers. "Do you realize how unique and indefinable our relationship is?" Mulder was fascinated, the walls were down almost completely now and they were really talking. Unsure of weather he was supposed to answer or not he looked into Scully's eyes. What he saw there took his breath away and the walls came tumbling down the rest of the way. "You are the most important person in the world to me." Mulder stated in a fierce whisper. "I don't know what I would do without you Scully." He paused and then, "Yes I do I would die without you." At that Scully sucked in her breath. "Mulder don't-" Now it was Mulder's turn to place his fingers over Scully's lips. "It's true Scully. If you hadn't come back to me this last time how long do you think it would have been before I followed you? I went a little crazy this last time. Do you know that when I got to that bridge there was a crew zipping up a body bag containing a woman with red hair? When I saw that my world ended and went black for a second. At least while you were in the hospital, even when you got so sick, I still had a bit of hope. You were still alive, I could still try and bring you back, but when I saw that body I big part of me started to die. When I found out that you were alive it over whelmed me. Skinner practically had to hold me back from getting on the medevac helicopter with you." He slowly brought his free hand up to gently brush away some of the tears that had silently begun to fall down her cheeks. "You keep me grounded, sane. The day They sent you to spy on me was the day that They began to loose Their war. If I had been left alone it was only a matter of time before my ideas and my behaviour became so extreme that I would have left the Bureau no choice, but to fire me." Looking down at their entwined fingers, then back into her eyes he whispered, "You are my life. The spy has become the only one I trust. The only one I rely on one-hundred percent." Mulder paused again, gathering his courage. Then making sure that he was looking her straight in the eyes, "The only one I truly love." Although Scully had known that their walls had come started to come crumbling down since she had been diagnosed with cancer, she hadn't dared to believe that they had come down almost the whole way. And now that "it" had finally been said she wasn't she what to do. Well you know what you want to do don't you Dana," a little voice inside her head whispered. "You want to tear off all of his clothes and resolves some of that sexual tension that has been between us since day one." Having said that though she was terrified of what would happen if it didn't work out. Or worse yet what if it was perfect between them? Where would they go from there? There were rules about things like this, rules that when broke could end careers. Not that Mulder had ever really cared for rules, and quite frankly they weren't all that high on the list of her priorities theses days either. Still if they did this it could be used to separate them for good. What would she do without a dose of Mulder every day? Mulder was her strength, in many respects, her reason to carry on when it seemed futile to even try. Just as she was his. Scully's silence was beginning to make Mulder very uneasy. "Have I totally misread the situation?" He asked himself. "What if she only thinks of me as another brother? What if she only wants to be my best friend?" Had he just screwed up the single most important relationship if his adult life? Mulder prayed then, to a god he no longer believed existed or ever had, "Please God, let me have this one thing and I'll let the others go quietly." Gently Mulder took his free hand and wove his fingers in hair and the base of her skull. He pulled Scully's head towards him so that their foreheads met, staring deeply into her eye he decided that he would never again have a better opportunity to tell her how he felt. Or the courage. "Scully, you are my strength and I love you." Scully's head jerked back a little at this, but Mulder just brought their foreheads back together before continuing. "And just so that there is no confusion, yes I love you as my partner and my best friend, but I also love you as a man loves a women." He paused gathering his thoughts and his last thread of courage; "It's time Dana, no more walls, no more pretending." Scully's head moved again and for a split second Mulder panicked thinking that Scully was pulling away from him, but she was only nodding he head slowly. Relief washed over Mulder in waves. Leaning forward Scully gently kissed Mulder on the lips then whispered f everishly, "If we do this Mulder, there's no going back. They'll try and separate us using this as a reason." "There was never an "if" in this matter Scully, just a when. From the moment that you walked into my office it was just a matter of when. We've tried to hide our feelings from each other and the out side world, but I don't think that we did a very good job of it. Just because we're going to cross this line it doesn't mean that it will change how I feel about you or how I act around you. Well it won't change how I act around you while we're at work." Scully smiled briefly at Mulder's comment, but she quickly sobered up. "But Mulder if They find out what we're doing and can get proof of it, the situation could be used to separate us. It would be back to VICAP for you or worse, wire taps. I would be send back to Quantico to teach. Or they could really decide to separate us this time and put thousands of miles between us." "Scully listen to me we, you, are the most important thing in the world to me. The FBI doesn't define who I am. I can teach, hell I can hang out a shingle and go into private practice. If I did that I might not have the resources of the FBI any longer, but I have a lot of friends in interesting places that can help me with the Quest. I'm sure I'll have even more helping hands when it gets around that I'm no longer 'with' the government." Scully was about to say something, but he wasn't quite finished so he silenced her with a soft kiss. The feel of her lips against his was almost enough to make him forget the rest of what he wanted to say. "Besides, it's not like they haven't already used our relationship and our feelings for each other to make us dance. They already know I'll jump through just about any hoops imaginable to keep you safe and with me. Like wise they know that you would do anything for me, including putting your career, your reputation, your very life on the line to protect me." Suddenly he had run out of things to say, he hoped that what he had said would be enough to convince her. "Okay," Scully said so softly that Mulder almost didn't catch it. "Okay?" he asked just as softly, almost afraid to believe. "Okay, but I want to take this slowly. I love you and want you and have loved and wanted you for so long that part of me wants to rip your clothes off right now." A slight smile played around Mulder's mouth at the thought of Special Agent Dana Katherine Scully, M.D. ripping off his clothes and having her way with him. Scully acknowledged the smile with one of her own. "Soon Mulder, just not right now, not tonight. Let's get comfortable with this new stage of our relationship. When it happens it has to be right for both of us. As right and good as making love to you might feel at this moment, tomorrow morning we are both going to have questions to answer. I'm going to have to go before the shooting board and give my side of what happened in that ware house to them. When we make love for the first time I don't want it to be a hurried thing, I want to be able to wake up in your arms the next morning and make love again-" "Scully I totally agree with you, but if we could switch topics for a little while? The mind understands, but the body is trying to shut off the mind right now and put into action things that have only been dreams for the last five years." Scully glanced down and blushed a little, though when she brought her eyes back up to meet Mulder's there was a hint of pride in them to. And a lot of desire. "After we've done with this case Mulder we should have some down time, we'll spend it together. We can hang out, watch videos, go out to eat, and do things most couples do at the beginning of any new stage in their relationship. I'm not saying I want flowers and candy or sickening nicknames for each other, just time alone to really get to know the ins and outs at this level. Okay?" "No problem Scully, as much as I want to you to rip my clothes off and have your way with me..." Mulder smiled with delight as a blush slowly crept up Scully's neck and into her cheeks. Then turning serious he continued, "I don't want to loose any of the closeness we have now. When we make love for the first time I want to be able to eat breakfast with you the next morning and read the news paper, not the latest case file." A little smile played around Mulder's lips, as he imagined, just eating breakfast with the women he loved. Then finishing breakfast and taking her back to their bedroom. Their bedroom. "What's the smile about Mulder?" Mulder just shook his head, truly curious now Scully repeated her "What?" this time arching an eyebrow. "It's one of my most treasured fantasies about you." Scully arched her eyebrow again and gave him an "Oh really?" look. It was now his turn to blush. "Well it's one of my fantasies at any rate." Mulder's horrified expression at what he had just said aloud was priceless and Scully let out a shout of laughter. "God I love the sound of her laughter," Mulder thought, "she doesn't laugh enough. Neither of us do." Scully gave Mulder a gentle smile before she untangled her hand from his and got up off the bed then headed into her room. She left the door between their rooms opened all the way. Mulder saw the light in her room go out and let out a small sigh wondering what she was thinking. He had hoped that she would have stayed a while longer and they could have just been near each other. Leaning back against the headboard Mulder picked up the forgotten television remote and turned the sound back on. From the door Scully had heard Mulder's sigh and smiled. After all their time together she had a pretty good idea of what he was thinking. In truth the only reason that she had gone to her room was to turn the lights off and get her travel alarm clock. Using the noise for the television as a cover Scully set the clock down on the nightstand and crawled back onto bed next to Mulder. "I thought you were going to bed," Mulder said as he once again muted the television. Smiling slightly Sully murmured, "I am." She drew back the sheet and slid into the bed, pillowed her head on Mulder's chest. Beneath her ear Scully could hear Mulder's pulse jump into rapid-fire mode. "I want to sleep with you Mulder, in both scenes of the word, but tonight can you just hold me? I feel safe here and loved. I just want to fall asleep here in your arms and stay here until I wake up the morning. Do you mind?" Scully nearly had all the air crushed out of her as she was enveloped in a fierce hug. "Do I mind?!?! Since the first night you came into my room in that dingy motel in Bellefleur and asked me to look at some marks on your back I have wanted to spend the night holding you in my arms. I have fallen asleep and dreamt about holding you in my arms, only to wake up alone and empty. I would love to wake up next to you in the morning to find the sun setting your hair on fire and know that you are there with me." Mulder felt Scully's smile against his chest as she burrowed a little closer. "That has to be one of the nicest things any one has ever said to me. Thank you Mulder." He might be the world's biggest jerk some times, but when he set out to be charming there was no half way with this man. Leaning down Mulder placed a kiss against her temple, a jester she mimicker on his chest. A shudder raced through Mulder, but he ignored it, now was not the time. Very soon, but not tonight. Mulder settled down further down in the bed, keeping Scully's head on his chest and bringing both his arms around her. Scully placed her hand on his chest holding him close for a minute then relaxing. Turning her head slightly Scully once again brushed her lips against Mulder's chest. "I love you so much Mulder. Thank you for being the person you are and understanding." Mulder placed a finger under Scully's chin and tilted her head up; he placed a feather soft kiss on her lips before dropping his head back to the pillow. "I love you too Scully, sleep well." An undistinguishable mumble came from Scully as she drifted off to sleep. In his mind Mulder reviewed the events of the last few hours with wonder and awe. The walls were down now, and except for a few chased kisses nothing had really happened. They hadn't crossed that line yet, at least not physically at any rate, but things would never be the same again. Their bond was stronger then ever and while Mulder still feared what the future had in store for them he at least knew that they had a future and nothing could take how he felt about her way from him. Mulder drifted off to sleep without even realizing it and for the first time in a very long time Fox William Mulder slept through the entire might without nightmares or waking in a cold sweat. His dreams were impossible dreams of the future, of a little boy and girl with red hair and hazel eyes. It was the last good night sleep either agent got for a long while as all hell broke loose the following morning.
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