Recall that fashion magazine for women that had the pictures of simple errors in fashion or such areas people can do? They would have one picture of woman doing a major fahion "Don't" and then beside it showing a woman doing a "Do", these were supposedly pictures taken at random of your typical every day people walking the street.

It is amazing that when someone hears that they met a psychic or a reader that they think this person is a little ol' lightbulb of giver of information - the easy way to find the answers to the litle questions that have been dancing in their minds. *chuckle* Some of those "little questions" that have been nagging the person may in fact be ones that they would truly love to insight upon ... so I am not knocking that at all. Let me instead demonstrate what I mean:

< Anon-Nick > Hmmmm ... so you do readings huh?
< Secretive > Yes, I do.
< Anon-Nick > Can you help me with this question? I have been trying to get into a certain job position ... do you see anything in that area for me? (Note: they didn't ask if I was reading but launched right in with their question ...)
*a few seconds pass*
< Anon-Nick > HEY SECRETIVE!!! You there??? You got an answer for me about what I asked?
< Secretive > I don't see anything happening in that area for about 2 more months, so be patient.
< Anon-Nick > Well I been dating this girl - ok, we only been out 2 times but ... well, I don't feel anything towards her yet, what you see about her and me as a couple?
< Secretive > You have only gone on a date with her twice ... give things time, no one ever said a date meant you had to traipse down the wedding aisle with her by the third date. Have fun with the dating process instead ... often times you get what you give.
< Anon-Nick > But do you SEE anything?
< ecretive > I gave you the answer I am going to give on that topic ... sorry.
< Anon-Nick > Well, I think she likes me and I kind of like her but she's not really want I want for a long term basis though.
< Secretive > So why ask about something you already knew the answer to in your mind and heart?
< Anon-Nick > Well you are psychic and all ...
< Secretive > *chuckle* I am a reader, I never said psychic.
< Anon-Nick > Heheh, yeah. Anyway ... what you see about my ex-girlfriend?
< Secretive > Why are you asking me about your exes now?
< Anon-Nick > Just curious. Thought maybe she might be thinking of me a little bit ...
< Secretive > Ah, so you hope to get back with her?
< Anon-Nick > LOL!!! No Way!!! I just wanted to know.
< Secretive > And if I told you either way how she regarded you, would this make a dramatic impact on your life or future decisions?
< Anon-Nick > hmmm, nope.
< Secretive > Then no reason to have asked it.
< Anon-Nick > I guess not. Well, what you see about me in the next year or so? Like, will I move into a nice apartment or something?
< Secretive > You are being silly now ... *chuckle*
< Anon-Nick > Yeah, I guess so. So ... when will I meet my soul mate? And what initials?
*end of conversation insert*

This is a common mistake many people make unwittingly. They meet someone and plague them with any question or thought that comes into mind. Oh I know ... it is so easy to get caught up in the moment, I myself can think of 50 or so questions in my mind that I would love to know the answers to.

But many people don't realize that doing a reading can drain the reader's energy levels. It is like when you haven't balanced your checkbook for a couple of months, and you sit down to do it ... by the time you are done - or even half an hour into it - you feel a little drained and want to sit back and relax, last thing you want to see is more numbers needing adding or subtracting for a while. Right? Well, a reading can do the same thing in the energy levels to a reader and after a while they want to sit back in their seats and relax; no questions asked to them while they do so. They will be glad to chat with you, just not read any more.

Another common error is to pop into psychic themed channels or chat areas and when meeting a person who is a reader or a psychic, thinking then you have lucked big time and think they are ready to do a reading for you. Like you popped on the internet to chit chat and cruise about talking to people ... so has that person you met in your internet surfing. Just because they are on a psychic channel doesn't mean they popped in there to host readings, but to talk to people of like minds.

So when you seek out a reading or find a reader, be clear in your mind what you are going to hope to find out and make sure it is relevant to you and your life. Something that you really want insight about. Be clear and concise about the intent of why you are seeking a reading to not only the reader but yourself as well. Resist the urge to ask questions that are trivial and in essence, bottom line thoughts, non-important since they are only based upon curiousity. If a reader doesn't talk about what you were hoping to hear about, don't discount their words since they weren't (as you feel) "on topic". Perhaps they are talking about these other areas for a reason, hmmmm?

Don't bandy about New Age terms like psychic or soul mates nor ask for specific dates or initials during a reading, that is fluff bunny talk in my book. Please don't ask me if you will meet your soul mate, you have already told me in essence by merely asking me that question that you have no clue what the term means. A soul mate is not always going to be a lover or a marriage partner - sorry to burst many a bubble there, but it's true.

So what is a soul mate? A soul mate is an extension of your personality exhibited in another. Have you ever met someone and felt instantly that you know how they think? That is often times a soul mate of yours, and every one has more than one soul mate in their lifetime. A soul mate can be a very good friend, a parental figure, a sibling or relative, a date mate, a spouse, an employer or fellow employee, and even your worst enemy. A soul mate knows not only how you may be thinking or may react, but also what buttons they can push with ease. They will know these things about ... and easily too, since their personality is much like yours thus an extension of yourself. *smile* That is what a soul mate is. Nothing more, nothing less.

Thanks to the psychic line TV commercials and such, many people jump to a conclusion a "true psychic" or a "good reader" will be able to spout out dates, lottery numbers, names, and/or initials at the drop of a hat. *cough cough* That is not *always* possible ... sorry to disappoint you on that note also. These are rare instances and only made available if said information is "received" by the reader. Some may pick up only one initial, or a partial name sound ... some may pick up physical features, others may not pick up that much but will relay what they did pick up on. And, on a curious note, some won't tell you names, dates, or initials even if they did pick up on that information. Why? Good question, and I will answer ...

Let's say you asked about your love life during the month of October, and the reader tells you that they don't see you meeting any one until March with the initial of M. R. - the M possibly Mary or Marianne. Then some people - this is not kidding here - may actually sit on their duffs during the rest of October until the first of March, then go out and seek someone with the initial s of M. R. that is possibly Mary or Marianne. Now, you may think "so what?" Well, what if they needed to get out more during those inbetween months to get themselves to where M. R. would notice them or to establish a routine that would bring them to where M. R. was located at? What if the M. R. is only the first two initials and not the first name, last name initials ... or that Marianne May be Mary Ann or even Mary being Margaret or Megan or ... well I think you get the drift by now.

So think of why you are seeking a reading but at the same time don't treat the reader like some kind of novelty at your disposal. This will help ensure you not only get a good reading but also help you in establishing a great communication with your reader.

© 1998 Secretive aka Carol