There's a Dent in My Escort

(to the tune of There's a hole in my Bucket)

There's a dent in my Escort, dear Stephen, dear Stephen,
There's a dent in my Escort, dear Stephen, a dent.

Then fix it dear Vernon, dear Vernon, dear Vernon,
Then fix it dear Vernon, dear Vernon, fix it!

With what shall I fix it, dear Stephen, dear Stephen,
With what shall I fix it, dear Stephen, with what?

With some welly, dear Vernon, dear Vernon, dear Vernon,
With some welly, dear Vernon, dear Vernon, with some welly!

Now the axle is groaning, dear Stephen, dear Stephen,
Now the axle is groaning, dear Stephen, is groaning.

Then replace it, dear Vernon, dear Vernon, dear Vernon,
Then replace it, dear Vernon, dear Vernon, then replace it!

I've replaced it, dear Stephen, dear Stephen, dear Stephen,
I've replaced it, dear Stephen, dear Stephen, I've replaced it!

Then start it, dear Vernon, dear Vernon, dear Vernon,
Then start it, dear Vernon, dear Vernon, start it!

Now the engine's not working, dear Stephen, dear Stephen,
Now the engine's not working, dear Stephen, not working!

AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

   (to the tune of 'the Death March')

We worked very hard and we're sure it's been improved,
  But like the tree by the water it refuses to be moved.

   (to the tune of 'We shall not be moved)

It shall not,
  It shall not be moved,
It shall not,
  It shall not be moved,
It sits by the roadside,
  looking very fine,
It will be there in '89.


                                  - Steve Prior & Dan Hodson

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by Andy Abel - arabel@iee.org