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Shackles of Pain


This is a poem I wrote in a time of serious mental and physical stress. I had just learned that my grandfather was going to die, my best friend had seemingly deserted me because I had a disagreement with her choice of boyfriends, my grades were slipping, I had a week's worth of chior performances,and I had a cold (they always seem to come right when you need them the least...). My mindset, therefore, was not at it's best. But, do not be alarmed. Throughout my despair at this predicament, I came through with a second poem that night, I Know It, which was my attempt at calming my angry feelings...enjoy...


Shackles of Pain

My life is a never-ending flood of rage,
A swarm of guilt, an iron cage,
I'm caught, surrounded, cannot break free,
A light in the darkness is hidden from me.
I'm down, bleeding, broken, sore,
Just when the torment is ending you give to me more.
I can no longer take the agony and pain,
Why can I not see the end to the rain?

There once was a time when I thought I was free,
The shackles had fallen, I could now be me.
But all was in vain, for I am again caught,
And all my running ends up into naught.
When will it end? Who will let me go?
Who will open the door? Who's love will show?
I am always alone, no one to care,
I live life apostate, going fast to nowhere.

Is life worth all the pain and sorrow it brings?
Has all hope gone off and taken to it's wings?
Is there an end to this torment, this rage, this hate?
Is there a cure, my pain to abate?
Will it take a strong heart of a love that is true?
Could that strong heart belong to you?
Do you care? Do you know? Do you see?
Is anyone out there who sees the real me?

Am I damned to spend my life in this cage?
Is it my only friend? With hate and with rage?
Do you know the hills my heart always sees?
Or do you see only as far as the grass and the trees?
Daily my heart reaches out to your hand,
But it seems to me that you'll never understand.
It seems I am alone, though I hate to be.
I wish you knew me, I wish you could see....


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(c) Copyright 1997 Joshua Smith. All Rights Reserved. The contents of this page are the original works of Joshua David Smith, and cannot be reproduced without the permission of the author. Any unlawful reproduction will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.