Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Quick Wit:
You stink
so bad you make Right Guard turn left,
Speed
Stick slow down, Secret obvious, and Sure confused.
Quick Wit:
"William,
I just won the lottery! Pack your bags!"
"That's
great, honey! Should I pack for the beach,
the mountains,
or what?"
"Who cares? Just get out."
EDUCATION:
The 6th grade science teacher asked her class, "which body part
increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?" No one answered
for a
long time until little Mary stood up, angry, and said the teacher should
not be asking 6th graders a question like that. She was going
to tell
her parents, who would tell the principal who would fire the teacher!
The teacher ignored her and asked the question again, "which body part
increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"
Finally Billy stood up and said that the body part that increased 10
times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.
The teacher said "very good, Billy," then turned to Mary and said, "As
for you, young lady, I have three things to say: 1) you have a dirty
mind,
2) you didn't read your homework, and
3) one day you will be very, very disappointed.