Peter Marshall: According to Zsa
Zsa, does black look sexy on a woman?
Redd Foxx: I wouldn't have it any other
way...
Peter Marshall: Paul, can you get an
elephant drunk?
Paul Lynde: Yes, but he still won't
go up to your apartment.
Peter Marshall: According to Cosmo,
if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's really attractive,
is it okay to come out directly and ask him if he's married?
Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Peter Marshall: Which of your five senses
tends to diminish as you get older?
Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Peter Marshall: In Hawaiian, does it
take more than three words to say "I love you"?
Vincent Price: No, you can say it with
a pineapple and a twenty.
Peter Marshall: As you grow older, do
you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while you are talking?
Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing
older question, Peter...and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget!
Peter Marshall: If you find someone
lying unconscious in the street, should you do anything?
George Goebel: I'd probably crawl around
him I guess.
Peter Marshall: Paul, why do Hell's
Angels wear leather?
Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles
too easily.
Peter Marshall: Charley, you've just
decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first
year?
Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter.
I'm too busy growing strawberries!
Peter Marshall: In bowling, what's a
perfect score?
Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Peter Marshall: Eddie, according to
the Institute of Motivational Research, a wife should be beware if another
woman takes an interest in a certain item of her husband's clothing. What
item?
Ed Asner: Well, shorts immediately
springs to my mind...
Peter Marshall: It is considered in
bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics. What
is the other?
Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Peter Marshall: True or false...a pea
can last as long as 5,000 years.
George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that
way sometimes...
Peter Marshall: During a tornado, are
you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter, I'm
always safe in the bedroom.
Peter Marshall: Can boys join the camp
fire girls?
Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Peter Marshall: When you pat a dog on
its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?
Paul Lynde: Make him bark.
Peter Marshall: True or false...experts
say there are only seven or eight things in the world dumber than an ant.
George Gobel: Yes, and I think I voted
for six of 'em.
Peter Marshall: According to Ann Landers,
is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of
people?
Charley Weaver: It got me out of the
army!
Peter Marshall: When a couple have a
baby, who is responsible for its sex?
Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car.
The rest is up to him.
Peter Marshall: Frank Sinatra did it
over twenty years ago when he was forty-one years old. Now he says it was
"one of the best things I ever did." What was it?
Marty Allen: Ava Gardner
Peter Marshall: If you're going to make
a parachute jump, you should be at least how high?
Charley Weaver: Three days of steady
drinking should do it.