53 Crazy Things to do in the Mall
(My sister and her friend made this up.)
- Walk in a single-file line, in step with the person in front
of you.
- When you come to the benches in the middle of the mall, walk
on top of them
instead of going around them.
- Ask the salespeople in the stores where the uniforms they
wear are sold in the
store (for example, in Bath and Body Works ask where you can buy
their vests)
- Ride a hobby-horse around the mall, holding the reins and
yelling, "Whoa Betsy!"
- Talk in third person at all times.
- Carry a Pez dispenser and offer strangers a Pez.
- Wear camouflage and sneak around like you think no one can
see you.
- If the loudspeaker comes on, tell the voices in your head to
shut up.
- When asked if you need help continue yelling out "WHAT?!?!"
- Wear a fake sheriff badge and carry around a stack of
post-it notes writing up
tickets and warnings to people walking down the mall.
- Randomly throw temper tantrums.
- Walk 5 ft. behind someone at all times. When he/she enters a
store wait at the
entrance of the store until he/she comes back out.
- When walking, walk in a perfectly straight line, only turning
at 90 degree angles.
- Add "ong" to the end of every word you use when you speak to
the salespeople.
- In every store you enter that is not a department store, ask
where the lingerie
department is.
- Be a still model in a store that doesn't sell clothes.
- Accuse someone of stealing your bag.
- Go in 579 and ask for size 13.
- Skip or gallop wherever you go.
- Say punctuation out loud. For example, say, "Ma'am comma
would you please
help me find a pink comma red comma and blue shirt question
mark?"
- At all times pretend to have an imaginary friend. When asked
if you need help
begin by gesturing to the air next to you and saying, "Well, my
friend here..."
- Go in a store with a friend who pretends to be deaf. Ask the
salesperson if he/she
will help your deaf friend find the right clothes while you go to
the bathroom.
- When in the bathroom stall suddenly exclaim, "Corn! When did
I eat corn?"
- Wear a motorcycle helmet and have a bike lock. Pretend to
park your motorcycle
when you enter a store.
- Carry a tablecloth and picnic basket. Order take-out at the
Food Court and spread
out you tablecloth in the middle of the mall and enjoy your meal.
- When asked "May I help you?" bow or curtsey.
- Walk up to someone you don't know and pretend to know them.
Continue for as
long as you can.
- Take a tootsie pop and hold it like a microphone in a person's
face. Ask him/her
how many licks it takes him/her to get to the center of a tootsie
pop.
- Ask a passerby to scratch your back for you. If they do, make
obscene noises
when they do so.
- Try to get everybody in line for Chick-fil-a to do the Chicken
Dance.
- Go with a friend. Join yourselves together with one of those
things parents
attach to their children's wrists.
- If you're a female, drag your purse behind you. Pull on it
and pat your leg, saying
"Hurry up old boy!"
- Ask the cashier if you could ring your purchase up.
- Ask if they accept credit cards and then pay cash.
- Bargain
- Barter
- Carry a rubber duckey with you. Pet him, talk in a baby voice
to him, and set him
down gently on the counter when you pay.
- In the food court ask if this seat is taken and then walk
away.
- Carry around a can of EasyCheese. Randomly ask people, "Would
you like
cheese with that?"
- When walking down the center of the mall point at nothing and
start laughing
hysterically.
- Put down every store loudly as you exit by saying, "THIS
PLACE SUCKS!"
- Take a baby doll with you and ask bystanders to baby-sit while
you try on clothes.
- Constantly move your mouth as if you were talking.
- Sing opera-style everything you would normally say.
- Ask the Dollar Store if they have a lay-away plan.
- Buy one jelly bean at the candy store and have them weigh it.
- Take a Big Wheels and wear leather.
- Be very hostile when someone asks to help you.
- Walk in a weave (crossing each others path), this keeps strangers away, the more the better!
Also, yell at those things that people put money in, and take the money out.
- Go in a store and ask a lot of question about one product. In the middle of the explination, walk out.
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