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Here is the beginning of the story, to give us a starting point. Please feel free to add or "kill off" any character(s), plotlines, or scenarios, with the following caveats:
Have fun!
Inspector Hiram J. Dreyfuss of Scotland Yard straightened up after having looked at the body of the deceased. She sprawled in a horribly languid position, wearing a very flimsy sort of nightdress, in an executive-style chair, facing a very expensive brand of computer; the odd thing was that they were the only really pricey pieces of furniture in the entire flat; even the desk on which the computer resided was a slapdash, homemade affair.
In fact, the chair, desk and computer were almost the only furniture, besides the bed. "Well, Finch?" he asked of the thin, almost invisible-seeming forensic pathologist, "what do you make of it?"
"The deceased, one Amelia Frillbottom, was about thirty-one years of age, female, very pretty, and is now very distinctly dead."
"Exactly how did she die, Finch?" Dreyfuss demanded irritably; he often, as now, found the little man's macabre wit annoying.
"The young lady appears to have sustained a stab wound to the heart, inspector--"
At that moment, the door opened, and in walked Miss Frillbottom's maid.
-Addition by wisdom-
Mildred, Miss Frillbottom's maid, screamed and dropped the breakfast
tray she was carrying. " he has Killed her!" she cried.
"who has killed her ?" asked Dreyuss, walking toward the hysterical woman.
" That man Jerome Finchly. He threatened to kill her if she did not marry him."
-Addition by Cupiedoll-
As Hiram J Dreyfuss attempted to console the maid, he noticed her glancing at the body, as if she had seen this sort of thing before. Was Mildred actually as disturbed about Miss Frillbottom's death, as she had first appeared to be? It was quite obvious to Dreyfuss that Mildred was hiding something. There was something about the way she viewed the dead womans body.
The mangled body lay there, perfectly still, and yet,there was something about the position of
her hand that seemed to be telling Dreyfuss more - more than what met the eye.
"Mildred,... may I call you Mildred?" asked Dreyfuss.
"Yes,you may address me as Mildred".
"When was the last time you saw Mr. Jerome Finchly?" asked Dreyfuss. Mildred looked surprised by the question, but answered, " Oh, I have not seen him for days".
This intrugued Dreyfuss; an accusation of murder, from someone who had not seen Finchly for days? "You spoke of an argument which Mr. Finchly and Miss Frillbottom had, did you not?"
" Oh! yes, he was here earlier this morning, but I was leaving out the back door, as he entered. I heard shouts,coming from the room above". I listened long enough to hear the threat I spoke of, then hurried out. I wanted to respect their privacy, and besides Miss Frillbottom had instructed me to expedite my trip to the market, so we could have our tea together today."
-Addition by Petal-
"but alas now Miss Frillbottom is dead!" screamed the distaught maid, "what am I going to do now? I have all this food from the market for our tea, now it will be ruined! I bought her favorite..onions and tripe, and for starters we were going to have smoked garlic mussells, her very favourite!"
"Calm down Mildred; now, tell me, was Finchly comming for tea too?" said the dry Dreyfuss,listening to his tummy rumble as he heard of the delicious food.
-Linking addition by MWBailey-
but the food was just a distraction; Dreyfuss suddenly wondered if perhaps that was Mildred's intention, to distract from the traumatic scene at hand.
"Why, yes, I suppose he was," Mildred nattered on, "Miss Frillbottom did say that I was to set three places for tea. And come to think of it, it was a rather large quantity of mussels." -Addition by MoonOrchid-
Dreyfuss sighed, If backpedaling were an olympic sport, he believed Mildred would have gotten at least a bronze. He looked around the room. "Does anything look different to you?" He asked.
"You mean, besides the dead body?" She asked with an innocent-sounding Irish lilt.
Dreyfuss sighed again. "Yes, Mildred, besides the dead body."
She glanced around as if she were at a cocktail party. "No, not really.. Well, actually, something is striking me strangely.."
"Being?"
"That isn't what Miss Frillbottom was wearing when I left."
"Really?" Dreyfuss asked.
"No. I've never seen that nightgown before in my life-- and I do all of her wash."
At that moment, Niles the butler entered the room. "This is all terribly tragic--" He shot a warning look at Mildred-- "Is there any way I can be of service?"
"No," Dreyfuss replied, "Not right now, although I would like to question you later."
"As you wish, Inspector." As Niles sketched a quick bow, Dreyfuss noticed him put a picture on the deceased's dresser face down. After Niles had left, he went over to the dresser and righted it-- and was faced with a less bloody mirror image of Amelia Frillbottom...
-Addition by Ralph Wiggums-
Suddenly... a thump sounded from the attic... "What was that" Dreyfuss asked...
"Nothing" said Mildred as she scuttled about nervously...
"Quick, TO THE ATTIC"! shouted the inspector.
Upon arriving they found the attic empty except for 27 large boxes, the window
was open and a drafty breeze was blowing in on this quite blustery day.
"Shut that window" said Dreyfuss, " It's rather blustery outside and I fear that
I might catch my death"
Niles quickly scurried to the window to oblige Dreyfuss ( as - it was known only to Niles - he was rather fond of Dreyfuss, who reminded him of his dorm-master at finishing school)
Niles slammed the window shut and to the suprise of everyone a mighty "Yowwwwwww!" rang from just outside the window...
Niles threw the window open and looked out. "Why it's Ralph, the village idiot!"
Niles said. "What are you doing out there, idiot?"
I was moving these boxes in here for Ms. Frillbottom. She said I wasn't fit to
come in through the front door, or even the back door, and if I wanted my
waffles I would have to move the boxes in through this window here," Ralph
replied, pointing to the only window in the attic.
Just then, professional cat burglar Morton MacLeary flew in through the window. Not expecting anyone to be in the attic he jumped back, and fell out the window to his death.
" That toddering toad-splotted jolthead!" cried Mildred, "I loved him!" "It's your fault ralph!" she screamed as she pulled out her derringer. POP POP reported the derringer " Ungghhhh!" screamed Niles, "I've been shot! Hold me Inspector... Hold me...."
"Get ahold of yourself you dolt!" said the inspector firmly, " It was a .22 calibre derringer that wouldn't kill a fly! And besides, the bullets seem to have lodged themselves in Ralph. Ralph, are you alright?" "Yes, I am," said Ralph. "can we just look at what's in the boxes now?"
"OOOOHHHHHHH!" they all cried in unison The boxes were filled with. . .
"oh, now I'm through! " she said.
Indeed it was, and he was standing in the jarred dorway with his
long black tweed coat. . .
As the group gazed at the cat burglar's fading good looks, a
resounding shrill cry was heard from the top of the stairs. Dreyfuss
turned around in time to see Niles hold both his hands to his weak heart
and fall down the long crooked stairway, snapping his fragile neck a
record breaking four times. "That's impossible!" Ralph uttered. "He had
a bloody knife in his left hand..."
rare and unique antiques that looked extremely expensive.There were two thick
brass candle stick holders with very ornate decoration.The other boxes were
filled with marble and glass. Mildred ran down the steps away from the detectives and as she ran she fell down a flight of stairs and cracked her shoulderblade. This gave Dreyfuss enough time to catch her.
" Yes ,yes, yes," replied Dreyfuss.
Just then Ralph came down the steps
and screamed, "Look! It's Mr. Finchly!"
"Noticing he was eyed suspiciously, Finchly carefully finished dragging
MacLeary's body into the dimly lit doorway. "Have a seat, Finchly" said
the inspector, "no one is going anywhere until this matter is resolved."
"Won't you at least hear my prognosis, inspector?" replied a grinning
Finchly.
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