Redemption of an errant Postal Clerk
S.C.Jones
Now, I wouldn't have minded so much if more attention was paid to good ideas. Ideas have made our country the place it is today. We have all sorts of people who have made it and are living the American Dream because they had an idea. America is the great nation it is today because of the strength of its ideas. People from all walks of life, contributing to that greatest of freedoms; The freedom to be heard and to contribute an idea. In so doing America will remain strong, both today, and in the future.
If I had been taken seriously I might have stayed with the Post Office but it was hard to contribute to the American dream when all I heard was laughter. It would do well to remind people, once again, that great inventors have been laughed at for centuries, only to rule triumphant in the end. All too often ridicule is heard when amazement and wonder would be more in order. Wake up America - listen to the ideas presented with care. Your future is at stake...the future of your people depend on your attention to the inventors of this world.
The Post Office practically cries out for ideas. They have forms for submitting ideas. They reward their employees for good ideas. They make a show of plaques and commendations...they recognize the need for ideas. They do not recognize a good idea however.
Many times I've seen them reward with a plaque and a handshake, an idea that doesn't carry impact or contribute much toward the movement of the mail. Why, they would give a commendation to a monkey if that monkey could figure out a better way of closing a mailbag. I once knew a chap who figured out a way to eliminate mail bags altogether and he got hooted and hollered at. Seems to me he might have been on to something.
Now, I'm not saying that I have the best ideas, but I've had a few in my time and I wouldn't have been lookin for a handshake or plaque. No sir. I'd have given those ideas to the Post Office. It would have been my duty to do so. I left the Post Office after years of service because no one knew how to recognize a good idea anymore. It got so it was frustrating watching things go on the way they always had, simply because they knew no better approach. In some way, some way remote, I think they may still yearn for an easier, more economical way to send the mail on its way. I no longer hear the laughter. I will submit my ideas here so that they might, someday, come to fruition. I look to no reward...these ideas I submit freely.
It was shortly after I started work at the Post Office that I noticed the inefficient way of canceling letters. By the very nature of the stamp itself, the Post Office has made more work for itself. Now, everyone knows that to put a stamp on a letter you lick it and stick it on the upper right hand corner...right? To cancel that stamp a postal worker must find the same corner with that stamp and run it through a canceling machine. Well, this is no good at all.
If you observe a letter closely you will see that there are four corners and if you turn it over there are four more corners. This makes eight corners that poor soul has to look at. If you stick a Christmas seal on some other corner he's confused. Now, it seems to me that if you put that stamp right in the middle of that letter you put it right where he can see it. Instead of eight corners he now has only two middles to figure out and because one of those middles already has an address on it it's only natural to put the stamp on the back side. Presto; now the letters get stamped in 25% of the time it took previously (2 middles / 8 corners), and both middles have equal importance. Even a monkey could cancel now.
Another canceling problem comes from the way a canceling machine works. All machines have problems in various degrees. A canceling machine does not always cancel. Sometimes two letters go through at the same time and where a cancel would normally have taken place it was canceled by the front letter which canceled out the cancel of the canceler on the uncanceled letter.
This is common, as clerks will attest. There are special canceling pads on each sorting case for just such an occasion. A clerk will notice that a letter has not been properly canceled and will reach out and over to his case and after locating the exact spot will cancel it. He will then pull the letter back to read the address and now go back to the case to the proper cubby hole for this letter. As you can imagine there is much waste of time and effort in this and after having to cancel scores of letters the clerk usually just gives up in disgust and sends the letter back to the canceling machine to go through the whole process all over again. A waste...a definite waste.
Now I have been aware of this problem for some time and its solution presented itself to me with no more thought than a monkey gives to a banana. Sometimes solutions present themselves that way when you know the nature of the problem. Clerks were becoming emotional and it was clear to me that this was a problem of motion. The answer is in what I call my "Cranial Stamper". It's a very simple solution really, and costs the Post Office practically nothing to implement.
That same stamper on the case is affixed to a headband of Velcro, which is then secured around the forehead of the clerk. It can be positioned on the head for left or right handed users and all the motion is now directed to the head. No longer does a clerk have to worry about imbalance, wasted motion, or becoming 'punchy' at the case. It has the added benefit of allowing the clerk to give himself a little tap every now and then to maintain alertness in early morning hours.
Perhaps the idea I'm most proud of is the one that promises to save the Post Office the most money. Not only will it save lots of money but it will provide all recipients of mail an added benefit as well. This was not an idea that came easy. It took research and it took work but I know it will work. It would have to be phased in so that current mail carriers would not feel upstaged or degraded in any way but once it caught on it would reap tremendous savings.
As each carrier retired in turn, a newly trained K-9 carrier would take his place. These dogs would carry the mail in saddle bags all over the city spreading good cheer and wagging their tails into the hearts of everyone they meet. They would be tireless servants, delivering mail from early in the morning till late at night. Elderly citizens would go out of their way to make them feel a part of the community. These dogs would require no more care than a friendly pat on the head and a bowl of meal every so often. They could sleep in the Post Office or they could 'stay over' with K-9 supporters. Even monkeys would love this idea. Monkeys might even 'ride shotgun' so to speak and thereby provide the Post Office with a new image.
While talking to a good friend the other day about the virtues of 'Hanging Hydronic Horticulture' it occurred to me that the Post Office of the future could very well have custom fitted cases for each clerk, where a minimum of effort would be required to slip mail into its' cubby hole. Behind each cubby hole would be a suction tube and the mail would be whisked off to its destination in a heartbeat. K-9 carriers would be at their stations as mail would be sorted into the order of delivery and a happy, smiling Postmaster would be there, gently scratching an ear, and thinking of old, long gone days. It's a bright future we have to look to, with new ideas all around us.
And that way to eliminate mail bags - I think I know what that's about now too...but then I was never one to steal another mans idea.
Amazement and Wonder,
Silas Merrill
S.C.Jones
Revised: February 1, 1997
Comments welcome.
All contents copyright (C) 1996, S.C.Jones
All rights reserved.
URL: http://www.oocities.org/Athens/Acropolis/1915/
Free pages