ÐÏࡱáÿRÿÿ much as a by your leave; it isn’t enough that I was born into a time and place where quite frankly, I sometimes feel like one of those hexagonal shapes that toddlers try to forcibly ram into a circular hole; it isn’t that even now, in the late nineteen nineties women are still expected to not only hold down a job but still attend to keeping the humble abode in some semblance of order and see to the incessant demands of children and spouse if government policies haven’t already made them have to “choose” to stay at home instead of work because childcare costs make it financially some sort of joke to work. Hell it isn’t even that I am tired because after staying up until three something a-emma watchin the U.S.Open (tennis) I was rudely awaken at an ungodly hour by ACCOUNTANTS no less and have spent the rest of the day feeling slightly spacey. From lack of sleep that is, not from an accounting interaction. I usually feel irate after those.
No it’s that by some biological quirk of fate I was born a female and along with the advantages of this I am burdened with PMS Propensity and I feel that with all the societally placed burdens placed upon we grrls, we should be allowed the right to kill as many defenceless furry animals and males in our paths as we so desire at these times.
I also want to get one other thing clear, females can be assertive and confident and yes, a number of attributes commonly cited as positive male traits without PMS being the cause of it. To think that we are merely PMS-ing is to not only totally misunderstand what PMS is all about but it is by default perpetuating social constructions of femininity which are obviously not longer pertinent as much as it is treating PMS with lack of due care. Yes CARE!!! Let me tell you, you try swapping for a day and you’ll develop a whole new respect for what it means to be female, not that you shouldn’t have a great respect for this anyway of course. You mere males will understand that what you previously believed to be hyper-sensitivity is in fact, a natural reaction to a Thoroughly Distatesful Situation that if we were given a viable option which would result in its elimination, we’d damn well take.
So in the future, if your partner is in the deep dark throes of PMS, don’t run away to the pub or to some male bonding retreat in the mountains to beat your chests. Stick around and be our punching bags, provide plenty of comfort food, and prepare the hot water bottle.
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