Jim and Vicky

Soulmates, Friends, Lovers

We met in the spring of 1970. It wasn't love at first sight, but we became good friends. Friendship lead to dating and eventually living together. We eloped in May, 1971 in Las Vegas. Ours was not a storybook marriage..I was 2 months pregnant when we got married.

Like most newlyweds, we struggled with money, with learning about each other, and with a newborn son 7 months after we married :) We decided to have our family while we were young, so that when they were grown and gone....we would have time for ourselves....to be together. I was 19 when I had my first son, 22 when I had the second. We grew up as our children grew.....

We had no close relatives nearby. My family was in Florida, his in Ohio. So we had to make it on our own. No nights at the movies, no dinners out.....we watched TV and had pizza :) We separated briefly after 8 years of marriage...he got drunk one night and started punching me. I hit back and gave him a bloody nose, which so startled him...the fight was over. But I vowed no man would ever hit me, so I left him. It only lasted 2 months because I found out that no matter what your parents say, you can never go home again. My father said the only problem in my marriage was me because I didn't obey my husband. I feel marriage is a growing of 2 people together, not one above the other. Jim had gone to counseling during this time, and swore he would never lay another hand on me, so I returned to him. He was true to his word...he never hit me again. Please don't think Jim was an abusive husband...he wasn't. He was a very loving, understanding, patient and caring man. Our money problems had just gotten to him that night, as he was never a drinker. I shared his sense of frustration, at his not being able to provide for his family in the way he thought he should. He had recently been laid off, and the money was rapidly disappearing. Jim loved us very much and it severely wounded his pride that he couldn't find another job right away to care for us. It took him 2 years to find another job, during which time, he got a degree at the local college, trying to better himself, make a place for himself in the new workplace.

Jim was always an outdoors man....loved to be out working in the yard. He couldn't stand being tied to a desk, so his jobs were always something that left him the freedom to be on his own, outside with nature. He would jog every morning, just to be one with nature.

Neither of us had a strong religious background, so over the course of our years together, we explored many different beliefs. He felt Celtic/Norse was his path and I found the joys of Tameran/Wicca. But we each respected and honored the others chosen path. We reveled in the wonder of religion that didn't bind us to outdated rules...that gave us the freedom to make our own choices and know that we created whatever consequences should occur from our actions. We were just beginning to really grow and understand our chosen paths when he was taken from this life.

Jim died August 7, 1996 of a heart attack. He had just turned 47 in July. I came home from work and found him already dead on the kitchen floor. I tried CPR, but knew in my heart it was too late. Jim had always wanted to be an organ donor, but that didn't happen. He had been gone too long. I knew when the coroner wheeled his body out that.....that wasn't my Jim under there. He had already gone to be with his old friends Odin and Freya. I knew that Anpu and Bast had escorted him on the path to his next journey. That was only the shell that had housed the beautiful soul I knew as my husband, my friend and my lover.

I sit here with tears streaming down my face as I type this. The irony of the file name just hit me......us.html. There is no longer an "us".......except in my heart and my memories.

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