Wholesome Nudity

Theology Quiz


THEOLOGY QUIZ

Many moons ago, when Adam and Eve were being chased out of the Garden of Eden, Adam spoke out in his best British accent, "My dear, we are living in a time of change". Not only was his innocence lost, but a good bit of his relationship with the Almighty. Ever since men have cooked up their own ideas about God (usually with the dial on 'Half-baked') and speculated about the Man Upstairs. Even though the Bible has been around for at least 500 years (King Jimmy Version), men are still abyssmally ignorant of the Holy Scriptures. Let's survey your knowledge of the Eternal Word.

1. Isaiah ....
a) starred on "Little House".
b) invented farm machinery.
c) was the prophet that made the sun go backwards.
d) ended up at the sawmill.

2. Adam and Eve...
a) lost a good thing when they had to wear clothes!
b) were astronauts.
c) had no belly buttons.
d) made our existence possible -- and miserable!

3. Because Jacob (Israel) had four wives...
a) he constantly got into trouble forgetting anniversaries.
b) he qualified for group insurance rates after having his children!
c) that explains why he was crippled in late life!
d) he went gray in his 30's.

4. King David sinned because...
a) he made love, not war.
b) he went to the night show at the Gaza Strip.
c) he forgot to do his memory verse.
d) he dipped the Matzohs into a cheese dip.

5. People followed Jesus...
a) to get free food.
b) to hear His words.
c) to get Living Water.
d) in case a miracle happened.

6. Moses crossed the Red Sea....
a) in a bathtub.
b) when it was dyed green for St. Patrick's Day.
c) mad as a wet hen.
d) on a windy day on dry land.

7. Paul begot Onesimus in prison...
a) because in olden days, they mixed the men with the women in prison.
b) during the old Roman Mardi Gras.
c) when he was captured in Rome.
d) after the adoption agency turned him down.

8. If people expect that church attendance makes them Christians...
a) they also believe that living in the garage makes them a car.
b) they haven't seen the church I used to go to!
c) then I have some land in Florida to sell them.
d) all of the above.

9. Good Works...
a) is the latest software from Microsoft.
b) are produced by eternal life.
c) get you into heaven.
d) are hard to come by these days.

10. If the world follows our example...
a) it explains why the world is always at war.
b) its no wonder other cultures solve problems the way they do.
c) they would kill the wounded instead of decorating them.
d) they could solve all of their problems.

11. These days, walking on water....
a) is the result of pollution.
b) is best done during low tide.
c) would still be a miracle.
d) beats a surfboard during quiet days.

12. People live the way they do because....
a) they think the Second Coming has been cancelled.
b) they don't know any better.
c) they are following the example of religious people.
d) they get Green Stamps for it.

13. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse...
a) play several rubbers of bridge a day.
b) are members of an Arabic polo team.
c) spell disaster in any language.
d) are members of an exclusive, ivy-league country club.

14. "To be or not to be..." comes from...
a) Proverbs.
b) Isaiah.
c) Shakespeare.
d) James.

15. The Little Caesar's of New Testament times...
a) delivered pizzas within 500 stadia.
b) hosted Christians to their Special Olympics.
c) became fat Caesar's.
d) fiddled their time away.

16. The Mark of the Beast...
a) is an prominant, ugly wart on the nose.
b) corresponds to your Social Security Number.
c) is for people's forehead or right hand.
d) is a college letter given for hustling.

17. Christian Love...
a) makes you feel 'guishy' all over.
b) is action.
c) works with me and my four and no more.
d) can love anybody!

18. Repentance is ...
a) for everybody else but you and me.
b) something like God's rebate program.
c) what can get you eternal life!
d) saying something over for a slightly deaf person.

19. Heaven and hell...
a) exist only in fairy tales and in Italian literature.
b) are strong motivators.
c) can both be entered without warning!
d) is what citizenship and taxes is all about!

20. Christian Nudists...
a) have nothing to hide.
b) are cold in the winter.
c) aren't ashamed of what God created.
d) love Jesus with all their heart!

The Conversation
Rebuttal
Its a Cultural Thing
Quick Marriage Tune-up
My Thoughts on Social Nudism

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