The following passages are from J. I. Packer's new book A Grief Sanctified - Passing Through Grief to Peacein which he presents with his usual helpful commentary on the Puritan Richard Baxter's classic book on grief,The Breviate:

"All life, said the Puritans, must be managed in such a way that it is sanctified; that is, all activities must be performed, all experiences received and responded to, in a way that honors God, benefits others as far as possible, and helps us forward in our knowledge and enjoyment of God as we travel home to the glory of heaven hereafter. Of the experiences to be sanctified, some are pleasant and some are painful. The Puritan labels for the latter are "afflictions" and "crosses"; and bereavement, with the grief it brings, is one such.

How may an experience be sanctified? By relating it to the truth of the gospel, so that we understand it in biblical and evangelical terms; by letting it remind us of truths we might otherwise forget, or not take seriously; and by disciplining our hearts to accept it in an appropriate way - with gratitude or self-humbling or whatever.

Of what truths particularly should the bereavement experience remind us? Said the Puritans characteristically, the three that follow:

1. The reality of God's sovereignty - that we, like everyone else, are always in his hands, and neither bereavement nor anything else occurs apart from his overruling will.

2. The reality of our own mortality - that we, like everyone else, are not in this world on a permanent basis and must sooner of later leave it for another mode of existeence under other conditions.

3. The reality of heaven and hell - that we leave this world for one or the other, and that we should use the time God gives us here to ensure that as saved sinners we should go to heaven, rather than as unsaved sinners go to hell.

To what exercises of the mind and heart (attitudes and actions) should the bereavement experience lead us? Said the Puritans characteristically, these three:

1. The exercise of thanksgiving for all that we valued and enjoyed in the person we have lost and, in the case of a believer, for the happiness to which we know that he or she has now been promoted.

2. The exercise of submission to God, as we resign to him the loved one he has taken from us, confess to him that we had no claim on the continuance of that loved one's earthly life, and consciously put ourselves in his hands for whatever future experiences he has in mind for us.

3. The exercise of patience, which is a compound of endurance and hope, as we live through our bereavement on a daily basis.