They passed some brand new laws today
Those wise men we elected
Now children in thorny custody battles
May legally be bisected
As of midnight tonight the value of Pi
Will be rounded off to three
And the air we breathe, like the water we drink
Will be metered and no longer free
Eight hours of mandatory TV a day
Will replace all forms of dope
The bout of the century, tonight!
Mike Tyson versus the Pope
Little girls will play with Barbie and Ken
Little boys will play with guns
Those who stubbornly refuse to comply
Will play in the yards of prisons
Sneezing in public will get you a fine
And possession of HIV
Will be punished to the fullest extent of the law
That's right -- the death penalty
All those nasty old books with their four-letter words
Will be thrown on the fire to burn
Don't worry, you'll be told all you need to know
And taught what we want you to learn
The criminal class will swell and grow
As new crimes are invented
So we'll build a big building and we'll all move inside
And the scofflaws will all be ejected
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