The U.S. is taking "extraordinary measures" to fend off New Year's guerrilla attacks, wire services report. President Clinton announced last week the government is on a "higher level of alert" after an Algerian national was arrested last week, supposedly attempting to smuggle an electronic watch (an "explosive timer") and a quantity of dried animal urine ("explosive materials") across the Canadian border into Washington state.
Ahmed Ressam, 32, was indicted in Seattle on five charges including using false I.D. and smuggling explosive materials -- though curiously he was not accused of "terrorism."
Now, if you were planning to blow up something in the United States, would you attempt to smuggle in a large quantity of powdered urea -- a high-volume, low-potency material custom designed to trigger the interest of border patrol sniffer dogs?
Would that be because, as a dangerous international terrorist, you wouldn't be able to figure out how to acquire or formulate C-4 or Semtex? Or would that be because you believe there's a shortage of animal urine, phosphate fertilizer, and other such low-grade materials -- not to mention Cassio watches -- available to be acquired (start ital)after(end ital) you entered this country?
Meantime, from Ottawa comes word Prime Minister Jean Chretien's government will be on full Y2K alert New Year's Eve and ready to invoke an updated War Measures Act, according to The Toronto Sun.
Is anyone else picturing Slim Pickens in "Dr. Strangelove," shouting "Hoo-hah" as he straddled that descending warhead like a rodeo pony?
It's all well and good to say "Better safe than sorry." But let's review: Those knowledgable about the Y2K problem started telling us a year ago there simply weren't enough programmers or enough time to de-bug every embedded chip and ancient piece of mainframe computer code. There were even early reports that commercial nuclear reactors might have to be shut down as of July 1 if they couldn't be certified "Y2K compliant," since it can take one of those things six months to safely cool down, should power become unavailable to the emergency pumps.
Then, by summer, all such concerns had evaporated. One after another, branch banks and local government offices happily reported themselves "Y2K compliant."
No one is saying we're going to be wandering the land dressed in goatskins by St. Patrick's Day, feeding our families with stone-tipped spears. But let's imagine for a moment that some economic, logistic, and other computer-related problems (start ital)do(end ital) crop up next month -- especially given the inflationary volume of new money the Fed has pumped into the economy to avoid any "runs on the bank" by customers seeking extra cash this week.
Should we expect everyone from our local bank manager to President Bill Clinton to acknowledge: "We were fibbing. We knew we couldn't really fix everything in time, so we just decided to cross our fingers, tell you everything was fine, and hope for the best"?
Would it be the president's strong moral scruples that would prevent him from instead claiming: "Whatever may have gone wrong, it's the fault of those darned terrorist Algerian computer hackers we warned you about. Everything would have been fine except for them. It's only due to the hate-inspired mischief of these right-wing terrorists -- egged on by people like Rush Limbaugh and G. Gordon Liddy -- that we now need to reluctantly, temporarily suspend just a few of the more obscure and outdated provisions of the Bill of Rights, merely to guard against any recurrence during this time of National Healing ..."
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On a more convivial note, Y2K paranoia isn't the only reason your best New Year's bet in Vegas this year might be to roll your clocks ahead a couple of days and beat the rush, avoiding street-closings and other more routine mayhem by heading over to the Mandalay Bay Tuesday or Wednesday to check out The Eagles and Jackson Browne (cheap seats $95; much higher for the smart set.)
Other than Pat Benatar at the Las Vegas Hilton, the Mandalay Bay folks also seem to have cornered the talent market for those who want to be in the heart of the action when all the lights go out Friday night, what with the Divine Miss M in the main room at $95 to $500, along with (possibly the best value in town at $200) that lovely and talented Arizona Maid of Cotton, Miss Stevie Nicks, gracing the House of Blues (not to be confused with the House of Blues Foundation Room, which I'm told is lovely, but where neither a written invitation nor even a coat and tie have ever gotten this particular Polish fellow admitted, apparently having something to do with my choice of footgear.)
All of which is by way of noting what still seems to be one of the best-kept secrets in town, which is that Andre Rochat finally has some competition when it comes to fine dining hereabouts, in the person of chef Wolfgang von Wieser, brought in by the Four Seasons people from their Charlottenstrasse location last spring to run the new Veranda Cafe, at the south end of the Strip, easily accessible from Russell Road.
Lauren the manager tells me there are still some seats left for their New Year's Eve prix fixe seatings, $150 for the 5:30 p.m. and $250 for a five-course dinner at 8:30, the latter followed by dancing to the four-piece Chicago blues outfit Ghalib Ghallab.
The holiday menu includes an appetizer choice of Maine lobster or smoked salmon or sevruga caviar or fois gras, followed by grilled scallops on an herb potato cake or pan-seared quail breast, followed by your choice of dry aged beef tenderloin with prune and Armagnac souffle or a potato-crusted sea bass -- you get the idea.
632-5121 for reservations. Ask if they've got anything left off the old wine list. Stay away from the tapwater.
Vin Suprynowicz is assistant editorial page editor of the Las Vegas Review-Journal. His new book, "Send in the Waco Killers" is available by dialing 1-800-244-2224.
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Vin Suprynowicz, vin@lvrj.com
"The evils of tyranny are rarely seen but by him who resists it." -- John Hay, 1872
"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed -- and thus clamorous to be led to safety -- by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary." -- H.L. Mencken
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