On the first Friday, the teacher asks, "How many grains of sand are in the beach?" Needless to say, no one could answer.The following Friday, the teacher asks the class, "How many stars are in the sky?" and again no one could answer.
Frustrated, little Johnny decides that the next Friday, he would somehow answer the question and get a 3 day weekend.So Thursday night, Johnny takes two dozen ping-pong balls and paints them black. The next day, he brings them to school in a paper bag.
At the end of the day, just when the teacher says, "Here's this week's question," Johnny empties the bag to the floor sending the ping-pong balls rolling to the front of the room. Because they are young kids who find any disruption of class amusing, the entire class starts laughing. The teacher says, "Okay, who's the comedian with the black balls?"
Immediately, little Johnny stands up and says,"Bill Cosby, see ya on Tuesday!"
A ninety-year-old man marries a young twenty-something girl. She gets pregnant and the guy goes to see his doctor. "Doc, my young wife is pregnant. Isn't that great?"
The doctor says, "Let me tell you a story. An absent-minded hunter goes out to the woods but packs his umbrella instead of a rifle. A bear charges at him and he pulls out his umbrella and fires. The bear falls over dead right before his feet."
The 90 year old says, "Impossible! Someone else must have shot that bear."
"Exactly" says the doctor.
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!"
The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."
Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!"
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