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Then there was this elderly man, 70 years old, and he is reading the paper when suddenly he sees... SPERM DONATIONS-$75. Knowing he could use the money, he gets in his truck and goes to the clinic. Walking in the front door, he makes his way to the nurse's desk and says, "Hello, I'm here about the ad in the paper."

The woman in white behind the desk looks at him with a puzzled look on her face and says, "Wait one minute, please." She then looks in her manual thinking that there might be a cut off age for donations, but she could not find one. So she returns her attention to the elderly man and gives him a jar. She then points him to a door. Slowly, he ambles across the room and shuffles in closing the door quietly behind him.

Thirty minutes passes and then another thirty. By now the nurse was uncomfortable and got worried. She went to the door and asked: "Is everything in there OK?"

Again she hears heavy breathing from inside.

Not being able to resist, she opens the door fearing what she might see. The old man is all bent over. "Are you alright?" she quickly asks the wretched looking old fellow.

Slowly he replies, "Well, I tried with my right hand." He is by now gasping for air, but he goes on: "Oh yes, then I tried with my left. Ah, than I tried with my right one more time, but I'll be damned if I can get the lid off this jar lady!

*****

Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season. The umpire walks up to the VIP section and yells something, and suddenly Clinton grabs Hillary by the collar and throws her over the side and onto the field.

The stunned umpire shouted, "No, Mr. President! I said, "Throw the first PITCH!'"


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