A motorcycle cop had just pulled over a red Porsche after it had run a stop sign.

"May I see your driver's license and registration please?"

"What's the problem, officer?"

"You just ran that stop sign back there."

"Oh come on, pal, there wasn't a car within miles of me."

"Nevertheless sir, you are required to come to a complete stop, look both ways, and proceed with caution."

"You gotta be kidding me!"

"It's no joke, sir."

"Look, I slowed down almost to a complete stop, saw no one within twenty miles, and proceeded with caution."

"That's beside the point, sir. You are supposed to come to a complete stop, and you didn't. Now if I may see your license and..."

"You've got a lot of time on your hands, pal. What's the matter, all the doughnut shops closed?"

"Sir, I'll overlook that last comment. Let me see your license and registration immediately."

"I will, if you can tell me the difference between slowing down and coming to a complete stop."

The policeman had enough. "Sir, I can do better than that."

He opened the car door, dragged the rude motorist out, and proceeded to methodically beat him over the head with his nightstick.

"Now sir, would you like for me to slow down or come to a complete stop?"

A man bursts into a bank wearing a mask and brandishing a shotgun. He points the gun at the clerk and shouts "Open the blasted gol-darn safe!"

"Sir" she protests..."this is a sperm bank! We don't have any cash here."

"Just open the damn safe bitch" he shouts back .

"Take out one of those test-tubes and drink it," he shouts, waving his shotgun in her face.

"I'm not doing that," she argues. "Ugh, yeeeck," she moaned, shaking her head at the thought.

He points the gun at her head..."Drink it or else!"

She shivers, shakes, and then downs the contents in one gulp.

"Now drink the contents of the next test-tube!" he shouts.

She gulps it down. As she finishes the last drop, he rips away his mask. She looks at his face and gasps: "Nigel! It's you! How could you and after being married to me for ten years!

"There" he says..."that wasn't so damn hard now was it?"

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