Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Vermont as far away from humanity as possible. Sam sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, he's finishing dinner when someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a big, bearded Vermonter standing there.

"Name's Enoch... Your neighbor from four miles over the ridge... Having a party Saturday... thought you'd like to come," says the big hulk of a man.

"Great," says Sam. "After six months of this I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."

As Enoch is leaving he stops, "Gotta warn you there's gonna be some drinkin!"

"Not a problem... after 25 years in the computer business, I can do that with the best of them."

Again, as he starts to leave Enoch stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin', too."

Damn, Sam thinks... tough crowd. "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again."

Once again Enoch turns from the door. 'I've seen some wild sex at these parties, too."

"Now that's not a problem' says Sam, 'Remember I've been alone for six months! I'll definitely be there ... by the way, what should I wear to the party?"

Enoch stops in the door again and says "Whatever you want. After all, it's just gonna be the two of us!"

A young punk gets on a city bus and sits across from an elderly man. The punker has a multitude of colors for hair, ranging from yellow to black. He also has fluffy feather earrings with the same bright colors as his hairdo.

The old man begins to stare at him with intensity. The punker yells over to the old man. "What's the matter old man, never do anything crazy when you were young?"

The old man replies, "I did one real crazy thing when I was 21 and very very drunk."

The punker asks what it was the old man did.

The old man replies "I diddled a parrot. Didn't think anything would come of it, but now I'm not so sure. I think there's a possibility that you're my kid."

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