Strength

        "Strength is a bandaid for hurt. Sometimes it takes a very large bandaid and yet the hurt is too big to be covered. Strength doesn't always solve the problem of deep pain and disappointment. It is common, it seems, that when one is dealing with trauma, the expression 'Be strong' comes into play. And though that is a necessary ingredient, it is not strength that is the main ingredient.

        During times of trouble there are moments where despair sets in and no amount of strength can perform a healing. It is at that time that it is wise to bring in another aspect of strength. That aspect is grace. One seldom hears about grace though it is sometimes used during church lectures or summaries.

        Grace is the capacity to expand conscious compassion to one's self. So often, we are taught to think of others and that is good, but when there is deep hurt, one should think of the Self. It is an atmosphere that needs to be created so that the pain can mend and the hurt begin to heal.

        How does one have grace toward Self? First, love. Love self and be kind to self. Remember that there are many dimensions of you and it is not selfish to care about yourself. Numbness often accompanies tragedy and at those times, it would seem that there is no possibility that any semblance of warmth or love could manifest. But it is exactly at those times when one feels so empty, so numb, that conscious caring and comfort must be given to the self. How is that done? By giving one's self space to be. Not to expect a show of 'strength', of being tough, of carrying on - all expressions that indicate that when one is at their lowest point of feeling, that strength will appear.

        Better to take small steps of acceptance. Better to give the spirit time to heal. Better to be soft with one's self when hurting than trying to pull out strength. And in the softness and in that caring, there will be a healing. That healing will continue to grow, perhaps slowly, perhaps not evident to the outer world, but it will grow, and in time the pain and hurt will lessen. It is in caring for the self, that strength will appear little by little."