28/7/2000Barely recovering from a mild case of the flu, which, however, has left me rather tired nevertheless. Miss the good old days when a flu meant a: lying in bed resting and reading heaps of useless books, and b: being treated like a king and getting heaps of stuff to eat, all to my heart's desire. Felt like I was going to take a day off or so, but believe it or not it is already FRIDAY and the week has gone by.. bloody hell! Never noticed it ... perhaps with all this marking piling up slowly beside me. Egad..
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Luann is a good cartoon strip. Really. Go on. Give it a visit. http://www.
comiczone.com/comics/luann/ab.html.
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Pay came in today. Going out just as fast, sadly. Especially this month. RM320 for credit cards, RM300 for the freaking passport, RM340 for the bleeding car, RM360 for the bloody accomodation deposit and to top it all off, chances are, RM618 as the first car loan payment. That's MORE than I make a month.. of course, everyone needs a good ole uncle like Uncle Mastercard or Uncle VIsa... ;)
CURRENTLY READING: Heaps and heaps of test scripts
CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: No CD in particular, no song in particular
I WISH: I was richer. How many times have I wished that this year?
LOOKING FORWARD TO: Sunday....
18/7/2000
There's a new radio station in town - WOW: 97.6FM Cool stuff.. mostly 80s and early 90s stuff; just the right mix of songs for a 20 something. Of course, it is still in test transmission phase. And as holds true for all things that are here to stay, once it officially gets on air, it'll be back to boybands and bubblegum. 'Market demands!!!' they scream. ' Blast it', if you ask me.
So many people are against boybands and bubblegum these days, it seems uncool NOT to like them! But the fact remains that sans melodious harmony and good looks, is there really any music?? I dunno.. I'm as tone deaf as they come, so it could be just that the Backstreet Boys are the next Mozarts or Bachs....
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In a desperate attempt to kill time, I decided to surf the net and do heaps and heaps of online analysis.. you know, find my true self and all that jabberwock. Insightful.. really, honestly. I'll post the results on a separate page, including links, shortly.
Currently reading: Intrepretations of who I am
Currently listening to: WOW 97.6FM Test Transmission
Stupid song lyric running through my mind: None today, thank goodness and for once!17/7/2000
So much for whining away about being alone this weekend - went to KLCC Saturday and mother of all surprises, met a schoolmate I haven't seen since 1994! She left the school under a cloud, and I wasn't sure if she wanted to still speak to any one of us, let alone lil ole me.. but she was the one who made the first move, so I guess it counts for something.
We hugged in the middle of KLCC - normal really for a couple of kids who haven't seen each other in ages, and then some, only for me to belatedly realise that it was gonna look a tad weird to some people - she is still with her boyish haircut and me - well, already with a tudung and all - it was gonna look like I was hugging a boy in the middle of KLCC; shame shame! Of course went home laughing about it and told some people who laughed at me even louder.
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Finally bough Mad Season - current fave song on the CD is one called 'Leave'. The lyrics remind me of my own 'mad season' way back when... here's some that hit me the hardest...
"I'm not saying
there wasn't nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me""you know you've been depending on
the one you're leaving now
the one you're leaving out""It's aggravating
how you threw me on
and you tore me out
how your good intentions turn to doubt
the way you needed time to sort it out"
The fact that shit like this is really hard to forget makes me think once, twice.. even three times sometimes. Am I screwed up, or am I screwed up???***
I hate bombshells being dropped. Especially on top of me. First she tells me she's getting married. Fine. Okay so I'll lose her company. Not a big problem.. knew it was coming someday.. and then she tells me. She's pregnant. SHIT! Getting married is one thing. But getting pregnant??!! Within the first year of marriage?? What happened to family planning??
Okay so there weren't too many things newlyweds could do on their honeymoon, so I guess I have to learn to understand that. But it's still quite a battle to come to terms with.
Maybe it's me. I do get attached easily to people.. and then of course they go away. Not physically sometimes, but once people change, that's just as good as going away, is it not?? I mean, if she's toting a baby along, how can we still scream like idiots at B-grade horror flicks ? Not that I'm not happy for her. I'm very happy for her. I'm just not happy for me.
And as Murphy and his stupid law goes, the ones I am not attached to are rather adamant that they'd stay. Just my luck.
So what's the battle plan here? Don't get attached to anyone? Or maybe given the fact that the people I am close to always go off somewhere else, I should try and be really close and chummy to those I don't really like. Which, if the rule holds true, will mean that they will leave, leaving me with the people I want to be friends with in the first place.
Parents: Treat your kids right. Or they'll become one of me - co-dependent, neurotic and whiny. The results of a deprived childhood.
CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: matchbox twenty's mad season
CURRENTLY READING: lyrics of matchbox twenty's mad season
SONG LYRICS RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD: "you know you've been depending on the one you're leaving now...." (a decent song for once!!!)
14/7/2000
Six months since my last entry. Not a bad record. Should try and learn to keep it up.
Ultimately, am bored right deep down to my barest bones. Wanna go out and have fun, but it seems rather impractical and hard to that alone. Could be done, but I've been having fun alone too many times already this year. Problem is, everyone else is either happily planning to get married, or are already married (and therefore are focusing on the incredibly difficult task of making babies).
I have nothing but the best wishes for all of them, but it'd be rather nice to have someone in your own corner as well. Oh well.. can't win 'em all now, can we??
Currently listening to: Bon Jovi's Crush, reruns of Matchbox 20's Yourself or Someone Like You until I get enough money to buy the new CD. Contributions welcomed.
Currently reading: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (what else???)
I wish: I have a hot date to look forward to this weekend.