do. Shamelessly.Humor, critiques, lots of bitching, and miscellaneous goober about the Spice Girls
"I don't sing for Pepsi / I don't sing for coke / I don't sing for politicians / that make me look like a joke..." - Neil Young
do. Shamelessly.Can I bitch for a while? I tossed a coin between making a site whining about the SG and Marilyn Manson, and though MM won I decided that I'd enjoy this one more - you know, everybody hates MM, and the only spice-criticism seems to consist of the word "bitchslutwhore" repeated endlessly. Something had to be done. So anyway...
I like the spice girls more than the average straight male - for example, I watch their videos without muting on. And I haven't even looked for any nude photos of them, real or faked. (I found 'em by accident! Yeah, that's it...) As for their music, I imagine they're like ABBA if you stopped roller skating a realized how inane the lyrics are. Basically, I'm a fan when there's nothing else on TV. (Which is basically all of the time...)
However, under the sweet sugary candy coating is a, well, sweet sugary candy center - Girl Power. Feminism lite. Woman's lib junior. It's an insult the original concepts of freedom. And selling out to Nike and Pepsi, the world's 6th and 7th worst corporations in the world according to the Multinational Monitor is more ironic than anything Alanis Morrisette can come up with (though that's a bad example.)
Girl Power's mini-freedom is "wearing what you want" and "not waiting for the guys to call". What about other freedoms a bit more important to females, like, for example, not being articles of property?
Lately, big money and their think tanks have been trying to gain better control over the bottom 99% of the population - we the people. One of their current strategies is to redefine freedom from "liberty, equality, fraternity" and "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness to" to, basically, "wearing what you want". They want to replace democratic government, which is (in theory) controlled by the people, with a megacorporate "marketplace", were our only votes are our dollars - which of course puts the richest 1% at an advantage. The Spice Girls, with their Pespi ads and definition of liberty as "not waiting for the guys to call", is not helping the situation.
Girl power appears to be a sort of "feminism lite", a stereotype-filled, lesbian-free form of feminism that is non-threatening because it achieves nothing - even the most basic concepts of feminism. For example, Mel C, the "tomboy" (I thought that word went out in the fifties!) is meant to be the "defender" of the Spice Girls. Just why Baby spice, with her martial arts training isn't capable of this, I'm not sure. Sorry, but you don't need armpit hair and running shoes for survival. At least until the BBC gets privatized anyway.
The Spice Girls didn't "invent the Girl Power philosophy" to quote (I think) Emma. That happened about a century ago - and is the reason that the Spice girls can vote, and display their ankles without being arrested. The suffragettes - original tubthumping socialists to the last - were the *real* pioneers of girl power, and it's like spitting on their graves to give the honour of "original Spice Girl" to the arch-conservative Margaret Thatcher.
(Yeah yeah, I know I'm taking this way to seriously. I'll admit that though every magazine article on Geri has about one line hinting at politics, each one disagrees with the last and I still can't find any direct quote with the whole Geri/Thatcher thing - though I do know she hates Bikini Wax...)
I don't claim to know anything about the girl power philosophy they haven't written any books explaining it yet - but here's a few examples of "do what I say don't do as I do" I can think up:
1. Is Margaret Thatcher "the original Spice Girl"? Willingness to go to war over what side of the street Falkland islanders drive on aside, she didn't do any more for women than any "off with her head!" Queen in British history. For example, she was a demonically conservative "trickle down" economist - the idea being that the government should give all the money to the owners of corporations (nearly all men) and pacify the middle and lower classes (50% women) by telling them that more crumbs will trickle down. All this pisses off workers - and guess what some workers do when they're pissed? Beat their wives.
Working for "I've got mine" politics is especially disturbing considering that two Spice Girls experienced homelessness, and before reaching fame they all lived in one apartment. Remember, it's the economic policy of Thatcher and company that Art is considered worthless (at least until the artist is dead). In those early years Thatcher's conservatives probably would have wanted the Spice Girls to "get a real job", like telemarketing or waitressing at Hooters - or working at a Nike Plant.
2. What's with Mel C and Nike? For just one example, at the televised concert in Istanbul, Sporty Spice wore an obvious Nike symbol which the cameras focused on - an ad worth hundreds of thousands of dollars, I'd guess. How "Girl Power" is Nike? At Nike factories adolescent girls (no doubt many of them Spice Girl fans) work all day for pocket change. Their management sexually harasses them literally until they become pregnant. Because safety guards would cost $2 dollars each, adolescent girls lose fingers. Instead of protesting Nike's treatment of young girls, the spice girls do advertising for them.
Click here to see Adbusters slam nike.
"Nike is one of the world's best known companies because it has signed on some of the world's best known sports figures - Michael Jordan, Andre Agassi, Bo Jackson, Charles Barkley, and Pete Sampras [and apparently Mel C] - to advertise its shoes. But Nike has an ongoing, potentially devastating image problem that it must constantly work to suppress. As the Economist magazine put it succinctly in July 1991, "a pair of Nike sports shoes that sells for $150 in the United States is made by Indonesian women paid the equivalent of 58 cents a day."
Nike itself makes very few shoes. The company buys its shoes mostly from Asian contractors. According to a September 1994 report by Tilburg, Netherlands-based IRENE (International Restructuring Education Network Europe), 99 percent of the 90 million shoes Nike sells every year are produced in Asia, by a contractor workforce of over 75,000. In the early 1990s, under critical scrutiny by a handful of investigative reporters, Nike introduced a Code of Conduct. In it, Nike says its business is based on "trust, teamwork, honesty and mutual respect - we expect all of our business partners to operate on the same principle." Nike also argues that the jobs Nike supports in the Asia-Pacific region are among the best paying and most desirable jobs in those economies. "The income of an Indonesian entry-level factory worker is five times that of a farmer," a Nike position paper claims. "In the Indonesian labor market, numbering 78 million people and suffering from 40 percent unemployment, having a job at all is considered a benefit." [This is like American slaveowners saying that things were worse in Africa) But according to labor activists who have investigated the company's practices in Asia, Nike has pursued a ruthless policy of cutting costs by finding ever-cheaper production sites. According to IRENE, after originally making shoes in Europe, North America and Japan, in the early 1980s, Nike shifted most of its production to South Korea and Taiwan , where wages of $1 an hour were as little as one- tenth of those in the United States.
"Then about five years ago, as wages and union organizing in Korea and Taiwan both took off, Nike shifted almost half of its production to Indonesia, China and Thailand, often leaving widespread unemployment in its wake," according to Marikje Smit, author of a report on Nike published by the Amsterdam-based Centre for Research on Multinational Corporations. Sadisah, a Nike production worker, was fired in late 1992 for helping organize her fellow workers in West Java, Indonesia. Sadisah worked for a Korean contractor, PT Sun Hwa Dunia.
"Our factory did not pay minimum wages, nor did it meet other regulations, such as a ban on wage deductions for meals, and two-day menstruation leave for women," Sadisah told a conference in Paris earlier this year. "The company ignored workers' rights, and only emphasized our responsibilities. Working conditions were also very demeaning. For instance, for toilet breaks, we had to wear a sign board saying "I'm going to the toilet." In October 1991, Sadisah was making the equivalent of 80 cents a day. She and her colleagues drew up several demands to put to the company. These include demands for minimum wages and for women's entitlement to menstrual leave. A peaceful demonstration was organized and the company eventually accepted most of the conditions. But Sadisah and some of her colleagues were suspended for leading the protests. Despite court rulings in her favor, the company has refused to re-employ her.
Research by the Jakarta office of the AFL-CIO and other public interest groups found that Sadisah's employer was not the only Nike contractor which failed to meet Nike's code of conduct. The research found that four of the six factories studied did not pay the daily minimum wage, even though this wage only met two-thirds of workers' "basic physical needs," as defined by the Indonesian government. "When we started the research we, perhaps naively, thought that Nike would treat its workers better than local firms," says the AFL-CIO's Jeff Ballinger. "In fact, the arrival of Nike and other shoe industry transnational corporations made matters worse, by turning the minimum wage into the maximum available."
Ballinger says that he found that at least three of the Nike contractors were using child labor, with one 14-year-old girl sewing shoes for 50 hours a week. Compulsory overtime, which is against Indonesian law, was common, as were other violations concerning working hours and holidays, maternity leave and health and safety. Nike claims that all of its contractors must sign its code, which it monitors internally, and that no code violations have arisen. But labor activists want independent monitors to check to see whether the Nike's code is being met.
In 1994, Nike spent a reported $250 million on advertising. Ballinger estimates that just 1 percent of that budget would lift 10,000 Indonesian workers above the poverty line. - From the Multinational Monitor
Nike is also a co-winner of the sweatwash award.
3. Again, Sporty's use as a walking ad billboard. She seems to have several Carlsburg shirts - no word as to if the shirt manufacturers are making small-sized Carlsburg shirts for the Spice girls seven-year-old fans. The alcohol industry is hardly a vanguard for Girl Power - the message of the typical alcohol ad is "if you get her drunk it's easier to have sex with her". Smirnof's ads come to mind first. I apologize for not having the statistics of how what percentage of wife-batterings, rapes etc. are done under the influence of alcohol, but it's awfully high. Adbusters versus alcohol advertisers.
I just hope they were well paid for this...4. The absolutely unprecedented selling out to Pepsi - an entire song with lyrics handed over to male-run big business.
"One day last year, Ann Leonard, of Greenpeace's International Waste Trade Project, was sifting through some U.S. Customs data. She noticed that Pepsi was exporting huge amounts of plastic waste out of California to India . She noticed that in 1993 alone, there were 23 shipments totaling nine million pounds of plastic waste. Leonard became curious. She found out that most of the waste was going to Madras, on the southeast coast of India. Leonard ended up in Madras this year, searching for the Pepsi bottles. She followed leads for weeks. One day, she came over a hill, and saw "an absolute mountain of used plastic soda bottles." "I couldn't figure out what was going on, because they were not all Pepsi bottles," Leonard says. As it turns out, the bottles were all from California's recycling program. Every one had a label that said "California Redemption Value." "Pepsi arranges for the shipment of the bottles and sends them to an affiliated company in India," Leonard says. As Leonard revealed in a Multinational Monitor article earlier this year [see Dumping Pepsi's Plastic," September 1994 ], Pepsi is involved in both producing and disposing of plastic waste in India. Under Pepsi's two-part scheme, plastic for single-use disposal bottles are manufactured in India and exported to the United States and Europe, while the toxic by-products of the plastic production process stay in India. Used plastic bottles are then returned from these countries to India. Pepsi officials in the United States acknowledge that the waste is exported to India, but claim it is all recycled. The company in India that receives the waste bottles, Futura Industries , admits that much of the waste is not recycled. But it will not say where the remaining, "nonrecyclable" wastes are disposed. And while Pepsi and Futura maintain that the plastic waste imports are legal, Leonard points out that the shipments may violate both Indian law and the terms of an international treaty. Last April, the Indian Commerce Minister banned the import of plastic wastes into the country. And the Basel Convention on Wastes, which regulates the waste trade and prohibits hazardous waste exports, does cover "waste collected from households."
Pepsi's dumping of plastic waste in India has fueled the anti-Pepsi mood in the country. Protesting activists in Madras have taken to defacing Pepsi billboards. In New Delhi, thousands of activists have vowed to disrupt the sale of Pepsi in the city. Many want Pepsi to just leave India altogether. The campaign is part of a larger "Swadeshi" movement to boycott foreign goods in the country. Citizen activists in the United States have also called for a boycott of Pepsi because it does business with Burma ''s repressive junta. Pepsi's Chief Executive Officer Wayne Calloway defends his company's decision to stay in Burma, saying "I don't think corporate CEOs should make foreign policy decisions." Other corporations, including Liz Claiborne , Levi Strauss & Co . and Amoco , under pressure from human rights activists, have decided not to do business in Burma any longer.
But Calloway has decided to keep Pepsi in Burma, and he has strongly criticized human rights activists. After hearing about the Pepsi boycott from one such activist, Calloway wrote back, accusing the activist of "dealing in coercion and strong-arm tactics." "It's no different than what years ago was practiced by Joe McCarthy and the like," Calloway wrote earlier this year. "In those days, `establishment organizations' felt fully justified in using intimidation on progressives and liberals ... feeling their noble purpose justified anything. They were wrong then, just as you are wrong now, in my opinion. Like a blacklist, a boycott is just another form of intimidation, and those despised tactics of the past are no different than what you are doing yourself. That we are a big, pretty successful [!] company doesn't change the principle, at all." This is truly twisted reasoning. Pepsi is doing business in a country dominated by an ugly, repressive regime. It is Pepsi that is engaged in the wrongful practice, not consumers who boycott their high-sugar product. Boycott Pepsi. And let Calloway know about it. [Contact: Wayne Calloway, Chairman and CEO, PepsiCo, 700 Anderson Hill Road, Purchase, NY 10577. (914) 253-3700] [Contact: Greenpeace, 1436 U Street, NW, Washington, D.C. 20009. Telephone (202) 462- 1177]" - From the same Multinational Monitor article
Pepsi is also the "republican" cola - for example, Nixon went to China, and thus Pepsi had a monopoly in China for years afterwards (if not still). What do republicans think of Girl Power? Let's ask Rush Limbaugh: "Feminism was established to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream." (Quoted in FRQ, Summer/93) But then again, the Spice girls are attractive. "feminists...attempt to impose their will on the rest of society, particularly on men." (Ought to Be, p.53) "Women were doing quite well in this country before feminism came along." Ie, before they could vote. (Radio show, quoted in FRQ, Summer/93) Girl power in republospeak is translated to "ultimate avenue of power", again to quote Rush (while he was talking about, of all things, abortion!). Republicans were not the best friends of the Spice Girl's other hero, Neslon Mandella. Big business never considered boycotting, or even criticizing, the nation that jailed him.
Race riot erupts as Pepsi demands Scary be sold into slaveryRush Limbaugh (Thatcher fan) would not get along with Scary spice much: His heros are "not encumbered by being politically correct...If you want to know what America used to be--and a lot of people wish it still were--then you listen to Strom Thurmond." (TV show, 9/1/93) Strom Thurmond, a proud rascist, ran for president in 1948 on the slogan, "Segregation Forever." Imagine instead of Ginger leaving, Scary being forced into segregated a band with the black guys from Prodigy and Hootie and the Blowfish. Spice up your life by smacking your bitch up and letting her cry - not the best harmony I can imagine.
Okay, enough of Rush..."My life really began when I married my husband." - First line in Nancy Reagan's autobiography.
The Beatles brought us revolution. When disco was born women could say "I will survive" Abba told us about money money money and how the winner takes it all. Twisted sister wasn't gonna take it. Madonna made women respect themselves. Now we're entering the 21st century where prodigies smack their bitches up. In the name of "political incorrectness" the pendulum that turned women from property to Prime Minister is starting to swing the other way. Something must be done - or else we can expect corsets and chastity belts to become the "next wave, next craze" for "generation next." Once that happens, we'll see Sporty sporting three fingers working for Nike, Posh getting drooled on at Hooters, and Scary having to use a different washroom as the other Spice Girls. Girl Power will be muted for all.
And now, a transcript of the Spice Girls on the Jerry Springer show...
(Spice girls mob the stage, fight breaks out)
(Audience goes wild)
(Audience goes berzerk)
(David kicks Jerry in the nads, Audience goes wild as a huge fight breaks out. Kens wig get's ripped off, Geri pulls down Sporty's pants, solving the gender issue decisively for all to see.)
Final thought:
(David kicks him again.)
Question one: Which Spice girl said this about Geri Halliwell:
"Kissing Prince Chuck and patting his arse, singing happy birthday to him and doing everything except crawl out of the cake...Looks like somebody has an ambition to become queen someday!"
Question two:
Geri's video "Look at me" has come out, and believe me - I looked. Especially at the end. Uh...I mean at the g symbol! I wonder if Geocities is going to sue her? Horns and a tail and a halo, cute, but too blurry, er, I mean...Anyway, on with the quiz:
Which of the following urban myths about Geri are actually true:
A) George Michael said that the time they spent together "almost made me become straight"
B) After seeing her video, Bill Clinton reported said that he "didn't expect her bum to be so blurry" and now yells out during sex "Oh blurry-bum! Oh blurry-bum!"
C) The other Spices knew she would quit because "she didn't have her period at the same time as us"
D) She was in the Gap commercial "khaki a go-go"
No matter what you answered for these quizes you're wrong. I made them all up - those aren't even real urban myths! But look at the Gap ad, the redhead in the pink shirt has the length and style of hair - even her "go-gos" bounce the same way. Uh...At least that's what a friend told me.
If the Spice Girls were so eager to make a politician the"original Spice Girl", why didn't they choose Clinton? Think about it - he's been accused of everything short of seeing a leprechaun that tells him to burn things...People care more about his sex life than anything else...And, nobody can figure out if he's an evil genius or a mucking foron.
The Spice Girls have English accents - this makes people seem about 160% smarter than they actually are. Scary wears glasses, adding an extra 75%. Ginger Spice tripped repeatedly while filming the video for "wannabe" - then fell in the Geri Docusoap...(And didn't know that "pro-life" and "pro-choice" didn't meant he same thing...And couldn't keep one of her "brains" from popping into view at that music awards show (MTV?) And...) Posh spice can't sing and dance at the same time - but then again, maybe she's just playing her role. At least she can sing OR dance, which is better than most rich people.
Bill Clinton is from Arkansas, making him seem about 190% stupider than he actually is. However, spouting lines like "the era of big government is over" means he must have flunked grade one economics, giving him the IQ of an unchewed stick of gum. I mean, he's too dim to even wipe up his own "DNA". He's a blunt mouth-breathing dolt. The only way to make him look competent would be to put him beside Ronald Reagan. Today.
Also, there's the sexual harrasment thing...Just look at this picture:
Of course, she might just be checking for cancer...So my point is...Okay, I forget. Zigazig aah to you too buddy.
Remember Geri's first public apperence after leaving the Spice Girls? She said "In case you don't recognize me...I know, I used to dress like a drag queen" The hint is that the other four Spices still do dress like drag queens, right? (Okay, it doesn't, but humour me, willya?). In both New York and Muchmusic in Toronto, she used the word "bullshit" while talking about Spiceism and girl power. "People get so excited about different colors of fabric - that's bullshit" is approximately what she said in New York. And guess who gets excited about different colors of fabric?
In Sydney she said that she hadn't kept in contract with the Spice Girls since leaving, and had only spoken to Victoria once. Then, interestingly, she compared the group to a marriage: "One in three fails...They are just like an ex-lover. I fell in love with those girls and there's a difference between 'in love' and 'love'. I still love them, but I'm not in love with them. When you break up with a lover, you need a little bit of time to get over it, and so I'm just giving them that space and time"..."When I joined the Spice Girls, I really believe in Girl Power and it really did work for me." She then hints that the other four Spice Girls are immature: "As I've grown up and learned a lot, I've just developed a woman power, a real power. We have to be real about our hopes and our fears and not be afraid to show our vulnerable side." Then she goes and makes a video showing off her blurry backside...