Back to Tokyo for MORE Friends and Family

[Naoto's father's family] [Naoto's Mother's family]

The evening of the third day- the day we returned from Shinjo- we met Yosuke and Masami at the Starbuck's at Shinjuki in the heart of Tokyo. Yosuke was Naoto's best man at the Cleveland Wedding, and he and Masami were both counselors at Mori-no-ike the camp where Naoto and I met.

We were joined there by my Earlham friend, Susan, who also married a Japanese man but who is living in Tokyo working for Greenpeace. Susan and I had an awesome conversation about Japanese men as husbands, pressures to have children, old times, etcetera etcetera. I really valued hearing her opinion on things!

We soon went to a bar (can I just interrupt here to say that I HATE the fact that in Japan NOONE is conscious of the fact that second hand smoke is nasty? They even smoke around BABIES!) where three of Naoto's old classmates from Jamestown joined us, as well as one other American counsleor from Mori-no-ike. A good time was had by all (although I hacked for hours after leaving the smoke).

The next morning Naoto and I got to hang around home in the morning, and I think we finally adjusted ourselves to the time change. The highlight of the morning was seeing all the funny signs on the road as we passed by on the bus to go to a shopping mall.

Some of the best are:

(on a european restaurant) "We are a genuinly refined offerings for elegant tastes" and (on a billboard for a music group) only the following words "Thee michelle casino elephant gun snake" and (on a japanese noodle restaurant) "How do you feel about Buckwheat, noodles?

I also got to eat some of the less healthy Japanese food I had been craving: fried pork cutlet with a sauce that could take rust off a car and fried bread with creamed crab in the middle.

That night was the big Tokyo family night. Two of Naoto's mother's sisters and one of his father's brothers lives in Tokyo. My parents-in-law rented out a room in a Japanese style traditional restaurant and we had a banquet where Naoto and I, and also his sister, Michiko (which sounds alot like "mishko" my nephew's name) and her newly married husband were the four guests of honor. At Japanese banquets there is a lot of strange food and drinking. There were also a lot of really really cute cousins running around underfoot. I also got to meet my sister-in-laws family for the first time (she is younger than naoto by four years and recently got married at the city hall under pressure from both sets of parents, I think). Her married name is "ushizawa" where the "ushi" means cow. Thus, her husband's nickname is "gyu-san" or "mr. bovine". Naoto and I also received many belated "oiwai" gifts (money) from like ALL of his family. It was a pleasant surprise but it means we will be sending them thank you gifts in the mail in the following months. (ah the tangled web of reciprocation and relationships that Japanese weave around themselves)

The next morning we slept in. During the afternoon we went to see a friend of Naoto's at his apartment. I was surprised to learn that he was babysitting his one year old son. When I knew him two years ago he didn't seem the type who would make a good father, but I now admit my wrongful prejudice. The little boy's name was minami and Naoto and I played with him the entire afternoon. Then another of Naoto's friends came over bringing his two year old girl. I could see that Naoto was looking a little wistful as he held his friends' children.

That evening, Naoto and I went to the last of our meetings. We met about nine of Naoto's high school friends at a restaurant in the notorious Kabuki-cho area of Shinjuku. (notorious for sex and yakuza) Japanese high schools are designed so that students are divided into "homerooms" that the students stay in and to which the teachers move around. As you are with the same people every day for every class for at least two years, you become very close to them. These were the people who met us at Kabuki-cho and who had a wonderful surprise for the foreigner wife of their beloved classmate, Naoto. What, do you think, would be the ultimate in gastronomical experiences? Yes, you guessed it, FUGU. Yes, they took us to a fugu (poisonous blowfish- a real delicacy) restaurant where we were served fugu sashimi (sliced raw) and fugu nabe (boiled with vegatables in a pot) by women in kimonos. (no sex or yakuza, fortunately). It was very fun, his friends asked me intelligent questions and for the first time I felt like I was participating in the conversation as an equal instead of just answering questions. Of course I told the organizer (pictured below) of the shindig that if Naoto died from eating fugu I would never forgive any of them.

Finally, it was time to go home to Naoto's parents house as both Naoto and I were tired beyond imagining. We got up the next day and morning, had a leisurely breakfast, and then got on the airplane for home. We are now in the middle of doing tons of laundry and trying not to fall asleep until nightime.

Whooooooo! I am glad that's over! It was fun being back in Japan, but I am glad I don't have any more people to meet!

Love and Light,

Kirsten and Naoto
February 12th, 2000
Alameda, California