1 Cor 7:1
1 Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.
(NIV)

1 Cor 7:1
1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
(KJV)

It is evident from Apostle Paul’s introductory remark that the contents of this chapter was written as a response to queries raised by the Corinthian Church on matters pertaining to singleness (and marriage as further elaborated in the same chapter).  The literal translation of the latter part of verse one should consist of the phrase “to touch” which is haptomai in Greek and refers to a literal physical contact between a man and a woman. Essentially, it refers to the legitimate sexual contact between a husband and wife, translated as “to marry” in the NIV version. A cursory look at verse one would tend to make one conclude that Paul was advocating celibacy as a norm for Christians. This is not the correct view and Scriptures should not and cannot be taken out of its proper context in correct exegesis (reference must be made to the whole context of 1 Corinthians Chapter seven and other related New Testament verses for proper exegesis.) I wish to state categorically that the New Testament Scriptures DO NOT support a view that celibacy should be the norm for every Christian.  In fact, the opposite is true i.e. marriage should be the norm unless otherwise stated...

Matt 19:4-6
4 "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,'
5 and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'?
6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
(NIV) Male and Female are distinct sexes which He created in the very beginning for the purpose of matrimony - a reflection of God’s will for all Mankind (verses 4 and 5 above; refer also to Genesis 2:24).  Verse 6 which is not included in Genesis 2:24, clearly states that God is instrumental in joining them together into one “Flesh” - an indication of His General Will for all Christians.

1 Cor 7:2
2 But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.
(NIV)

1 Cor 7:2
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
(KJV)

In verse 2, the Apostle Paul lays down the first foundational truth of this Chapter which one should make reference to again and again when attempting to make an exegesis of other related verses following in the same Chapter. In short, Paul is stating that Every Man must have his own wife and every Woman must have her own husband. Stated simply, God’s Will for every Christian Man is that he should have a (Christian) Wife and God’s Will for every Christian Woman is that she should have a (Christian) Husband. We will deal with the exception later. The first part of verse 2 can be misinterpreted to imply that marriage is an all-encompassing panacea for fornication (pornea in Greek meaning “illicit sex”). Here again, we must be careful not to take Paul’s Statement in isolation and without reference to other passages in the Bible. The following passages would perhaps help us understand Marriage in its proper perspective.....

Purposes of Marriage

a As co-heirs

Gen 1:26
26 Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground."
(NIV)

God made the first Man and the first Woman as co-heirs of His Kingdom. They are to rule together over God’s Creation.

a A helper “meet” for him...

Gen 2:18
18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
(NIV)

The King James Version uses the word “help meet” instead of “helper” (perhaps appropriately implying that she should help him meet the goal or goals set by God for them.) She should complement him in every way, like a hammer and a nail, both in the physical as well as in the spiritual realm (functionally, a hammer cannot replace a nail and vice versa). By playing her proper physical and spiritual role, she would, in essence, be helping her husband fulfill God’s purpose on earth.  God provides not only a helper SUITABLE for him but also provides him a companion so that he need not be alone (verse 18 above).
Just another point on their respective roles.....the wife should complement and not supplement the husband’s role. If God had wanted the woman to supplement the man’s role He would have made two Men instead. This should be borne in mind when defining the proper roles each should play in God’s order of things.

a To Reproduce the Race.......

The other obvious reason for a marriage relationship is for the reproduction of the race and the nurturing and care of the children brought into this world....

Gen 1:28
28 Then God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it;.........(NKJ) Emphasis Mine (Did you realize that to be fruitful and to multiply is a command and not an option?)

Parental responsibility to provide for the physical needs of the offsprings is assumed in the Bible. Only the Spiritual nurturing of our children is emphasized in God’s Word (Deut 6:7; Prov 22:6)

a To Bring about A “One Flesh” Relationship...

Gen 2:24
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
(KJV)

“One flesh” has both physical and spiritual implications. First, let us consider the spiritual implications.

Spiritual union causes the male and the female to cease to function as two separate spiritual entities; instead they become one “spiritual organism” so to speak, with the husband functioning as the head and the wife as the body....

Eph 5:23
23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
(NIV)

Eph 5:28
28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
(NIV)

This is a very important spiritual principle as it means that a woman without a husband is essentially a body without a head (the head being the decision-maker, direction-giver and co-ordinator of the body as far as spiritual and physical goals are concerned).

There is another spiritual aspect of a “One-Flesh” relationship which needs to be mentioned. 1 Corinthians Chapter 6 verse 16 below clearly states that sexual union (of a believer) and a prostitute brings her (the prostitute) into a “one-flesh” covenant relationship with a member of Christ’s body. What is the implication of this statement? Verse 15 below clearly mentions  that we are in a covenant relationship with the Spiritual body of Christ and physical union between a member of Christ’s Body and a prostitute will bring her into a similar kind of relationship spiritually. It follows that a Christian who unites with a prostitute sexually establishes a covenant with her and since two spiritually and diametrically opposite covenants cannot co-exist at the same time, the believer has to forsake his covenant relationship with Christ’s Body. In simple terms, he is no longer part of the body of Christ.

1 Cor 6:15-16
15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never!
16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh."
17 But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.
(NIV)

Lastly, and quite obviously, the “One-Flesh” relationship also includes the Physical act of union between the two covenant partners, and this helps fulfill the God-given sexual desires inherent in the Man and the Woman (not in the man only). Take note that the act of sexual intercourse (between a husband and wife) is God-given and honorable (Hebrews 13:4 below)- moral reprobates pervert the sexual act and make it “dirty”.

Heb 13:4
4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
(NIV)

Thus, when the Apostle Paul speaks of “avoiding immorality or fornication,” in 1 Corinthians Chapter 7 verse 2, this is what he is alluding to- the God-given sexual desire which needs to be fulfilled through the God-given institution of Marriage  (without reference to every aspect of the institution of marriage per se). Paul’s injunction for EVERY MAN TO HAVE HIS OWN WIFE AND EVERY WOMAN HER OWN HUSBAND on the basis of avoiding immorality or fornication is therefore, only one aspect of the whole institution of Marriage.  Even on this basis alone, it is imperative that every man must have his own wife and every woman her own husband. We will deal with the exception (singular) later. Incidentally, marriage is and has always been totally God’s idea from the very beginning (see Genesis 2:24). God makes and institutes covenants but it is Man who breaks (or refuses) to fulfill them.

1 Cor 7:3-4
3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
4 The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.
(NIV)

In verses 3 and 4, Paul refers to the One-Flesh relationship again and stresses that sexual union is not an option but an obligatory aspect of this relationship.

1 Cor 7:5, 6
5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
6 I say this as a concession, not as a command.
(NIV)

1 Cor 7:5
5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
(NKJ)

In verse 5, Paul mentions the ONLY legitimate spiritual reason for a husband and wife to abstain from sexual contact with each other i.e. so as to devote themselves to prayer (and fasting). However, he qualifies that this must be by mutual consent and for a certain period only. The implication here is that God gives “self-control” as a temporary gift to those called to devote themselves to prayer and fasting and once this spiritual purpose has been accomplished, a couple must continue to fulfill their natural, physical marital obligations. Failure to do so will enable Satan to exploit one’s natural lack of self-control. Prolonged separation between husband and wife for secular reasons should, therefore, never be a norm for a christian couple. It is certainly no co-incidence when the Bible mentions that Peter , the brothers of the Lord and the rest of the Apostles brought their wives along in the course of their ministries...

1 Cor 9:5
5 Do we not have a right to take along a believing wife, even as the rest of the apostles, and the brothers of the Lord, and Cephas?
(NAS)

Failure to observe this simple but profound Biblical truth has resulted in a number of wrecked Christian marriages, especially with respect to those called to do battle in the forefront. Since the Christian “Family” represents the basic foundational unit of the Christian Church, it is no surprise that Satan targets and will target his “flaming arrows” in this direction. Scripture tells us not to be unaware of his (Satan’s) schemes (2 Cor 2:11). Even though the Apostle Paul did mention in 1 Cor 7:6, that he is issuing a “concession” rather than a “command”, the general guidelines mentioned above between a husband and his wife, stays.

1 Cor 7:7-9
7 I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.
8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.
9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
(NIV)

Verses 7, 8 and 9 now deal with the “exception” rather than the rule (pertaining to marriage). At this juncture, let it be categorically stated that SINGLENESS is a gift from God (verse 7 above) and anyone without this gift MUST MARRY (verse 9 above). This supernatural gifting from God enables a single person “not to burn with passion” or in simpler terms, not to be ‘taken up or overcome’ with the normal sexual desires inherent in every man and woman.  NOT BEING ABLE TO FIND A SUITABLE PARTNER IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR REMAINING SINGLE. This call to remain single is a call for service FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD and as we shall see in the course of our discussion, pertains to MEN (AND ELDERLY WIDOWS) ONLY.

Matt 19:12
12 For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."
(NIV)

Take note that in Matt 19:12, the only legitimate, Scriptural reason to remain single is “BECAUSE OF THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN” (See further exegesis on Matt 19:12 below).

Why “Singleness” for Men and Elderly Widows only?

From our discussion of 1 Cor 7:2-9 above, we can conclude that marriage is the Scriptural norm for every believer and singleness is the exception rather than the rule. With the call for “singleness” comes the supernatural enablement to “overcome” the normal sexual desires inherent in every person. This Call for “Singleness” is ONLY FOR SERVICE FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD AND DIRECTLY RELATED TO AN ITINERANT MINISTRY (we shall discuss the case of elderly widows later).

Matt 19:12
12 For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."
(NIV)

A ‘eunuch’ is a castrated male and this term never refers to females. Those who are born eunuchs could be genetically deficient in some way or lack certain vital sexual organs, hence their reproducibility (and sexual desires) have been compromised. Those who are made eunuchs refer to the men servants in charge of the King’s “Harem”. They are voluntarily castrated so that they may “safely” attend to the Queen and the King’s Concubines. It follows that the last category of “spiritual eunuchs” are also MEN who have renounced marriage for the call to serve in the Kingdom of God. The only notable single people of God in the New Testament are our Lord Jesus and the Apostle Paul. Both have purely itinerant ministries and their calling and gifting of singleness pertains to this itinerant ministry. In 1 Cor 7:8, the Apostle Paul says that it is good for the unmarried (those MEN called to be unmarried) to stay unmarried as service for the Kingdom must take precedence over marriage and the concomitant commitment to wife and family.
 What about widows? Elderly Widows are singled out as an exception (not required to re-marry) for the simple reason that they have fulfilled the command to “be fruitful and multiply”.

1 Tim 5:9-10
9 No widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is over sixty, has been faithful to her husband,
10 and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the saints, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds.
(NIV) Emphasis mine

In 1 Tim 5:10 above, you will notice that “BRINGING UP CHILDREN” is a pre-condition for receiving support from the church (directly or indirectly implying that one of her essential, notable duties should involve child-bearing and child-rearing). Verse 9 above states that she must be above sixty (beyond the age of reproduction). It is this group of widows that Paul refers to in 1 Cor 7:8 , for he commands younger widows to re-marry and bear children as can be seen in the verse below....

1 Tim 5:14
14 So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander.
(NIV)

Lest any heretic should say that 1 Tim 5:14 only applies to widows in Paul’s time and cultural setting, I would like to point out categorically that the reason Paul gives for younger widows to re-marry, bear children and be keepers of home is SO AS NOT TO GIVE THE ENEMY OPPORTUNITY FOR SLANDER (latter part of verse 14 above). This is a spiritual reason and is definitely not time or culture-based!

1 Cor 7:10-11
10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.
11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
(NIV)

Since there is no such command from the Lord in the Gospels (verse 10 above), it must be inferred that Paul has received this command from the Lord by direct revelation and is thus speaking on behalf of the Lord. The Scriptures do not allow divorce for Christians except in the case of marital unfaithfulness (Matt 19:9). Physical abuse and desertion are not Scriptural reasons for divorce (although in a secular court of law this may be so). The Scriptures, however, allow a period of separation (verse 11 above). This, I believe, is to allow the parties concerned to be counseled by the elders and at the same time, (for the elders) to pray for them with the final objective of having the couple reconciled to each other.

1 Cor 7:12-13
12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.
13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.
(NIV)

The phrase “I, not the Lord” in verse 12 above implies that Paul is now speaking by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit and not by direct revelation from the Lord. Verse 12 and 13 above describes the status of two unbelievers, one of whom have now become a believer. “Willing to live with him (or her)” implies that the unbelieving spouse is willing to “live with” the Faith and practices of the believing partner. In such a situation, divorce is not an option.

1 Cor 7:14
14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
(NIV)

At first glance, it would be difficult to comprehend how an unbelieving husband can be sanctified by his believing wife and vice versa. Here, to be sanctified or set apart does not imply that the unbelieving partner is “saved” by virtue of the marriage relationship. All it means is that the relationship is considered sanctified in the sight of God. In other words, God recognizes this marriage (of one believer and one unbeliever; the proviso being both were originally unbelievers but one partner having come to the Lord later). In the same vein, two married unbelievers would have their marriage sanctified and recognized by the Lord when both of them come to Christ. It is important at this point to emphasize that marriage between a person already a Christian and an unbeliever is strictly forbidden ( 2 Cor 6:14) and should never be allowed in a Christian Church. Christian parents should make it a point never to allow their Christian children to date non-Christians of the opposite sex. They should, on the other hand, be seeking the Lord in prayer for the right Christian mates for their children. The latter part of verse 14 above says that their children are holy i.e. set apart for God’s purpose as though they were His own.

1 Cor 7:15-16
15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.
16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
(NIV)

If the unbelieving partner chooses to leave because of the Believer’s Faith and practices as a Christian then let him or her go. The marriage relationship or covenant in such a case is no more binding.

1 Cor 7:17-24
17 Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.
18 Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised.
19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God's commands is what counts.
20 Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him.
21 Were you a slave when you were called? Don't let it trouble you-- although if you can gain your freedom, do so.
22 For he who was a slave when he was called by the Lord is the Lord's freedman; similarly, he who was a free man when he was called is Christ's slave.
23 You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men.
24 Brothers, each man, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation God called him to.
(NIV) emphasis mine

In verses 17 to 24 above, Paul speaks of the “physical” state in which we are called. We are to remain in the legitimate physical condition in which God “has assigned to us” (verse 17 above); in other words, a carpenter remains a carpenter and a plumber remains a plumber. There is nothing secular about being a carpenter or a plumber if called by the Lord to do so. God can use a carpenter and plumber in His Kingdom (as God used Paul the tent-maker). Granted that there are others whom God will call to be in Full-time ministry and others who may need to leave the “physical” state in which they are called because their vocation may not be honorable in the sight of the Lord.

1 Cor 7:25-35
25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy.
26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are.
27 Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife.
28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
29 What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none;
30 those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep;
31 those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.
32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs-- how he can please the Lord.
33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world-- how he can please his wife--
34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world-- how she can please her husband.
35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
(NIV)

Before embarking on an exegesis of 1 Corinthians 7 verses 25 to 35, it is important to review the foundational truth mentioned in 1 Corinthians 7 verse 2....

1 Cor 7:2
2 But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.
(NIV)

Other than those called to be single for the sake of the Kingdom (Men in itinerant ministries and elderly widows), every man should have his own wife and every woman should have her own husband. This is the order of creation and has been decreed upon since the early chapters of the Book of Genesis (Gen 2:24; 1:28).  Bearing this Scriptural principle in mind will help us understand verses 25 to 35 in their rightful perspective. Paul is not extolling the virtues of virginity per se but just simply underlining the fact that an unmarried woman can be more devoted to the Lord in both time and attention when compared to a married woman (who has  marital duties also to perform). It is also not a call for virgins to remain in their single state for this would be in direct contradiction of the foundational truth taught in 1 Corinthians 7 verse 2. Verse 29 above says that “those who have wives should live as if they have none” and verse 35 says that we are to live “in undivided devotion to the Lord”. The point Paul is making is that devotion to the Lord must take precedence over all else; notwithstanding the call and obligations of marriage.

1 Cor 7:36-38
36 If anyone thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if she is getting along in years and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married.
37 But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin-- this man also does the right thing.
38 So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even better.
(NIV)

The Living Bible has this translation for verse 36....`But if anyone feels he ought to marry because he has trouble controlling his passions, it is all right; it is not a sin; let him marry.’
Here we are dealing with a betrothed or engaged couple in which two factors are involved, viz, the male partner having difficulty controlling his sexual passions and the female partner who has come of age, so to speak (Jewish couples are betrothed at an early age, sometimes twelve or thirteen). In such a situation, they should go ahead and marry (rather than let their passion lead to sin). In verse 37 above, you will notice that the Apostle Paul speaks only of the MAN when referring to the betrothed couple. In other words, if the MAN has a calling from the Lord (Paul uses the phrase “has control over his own will”) to remain single, then he should choose to do so. In fact, verse 38 says that this is a “better calling”. We can, therefore, infer from verses 37 and 38, that the calling to remain single only refers to the MAN [for verse 38 above says `he (not she) who does not marry her does even better’].

1 Cor 7:39-40
39 A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.
40 In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is-- and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.
(NIV)

Verse 39 above speaks of the bond of the marriage covenant which is broken if one party dies. Verse 40 should be interpreted in the light of the verses pertaining to widows above which allow elderly widows to choose to remain single if they so desire.

This has been a rather lengthy dissertation of 1 Corinthians Chapter 7 which contains some very important foundational truths on marriage and the call or exception to remain single. We can summarize Paul’s inspired view on these two issues as follows; all (men and women) must follow the creation order to marry and fulfil nature’s call to reproduce. The call to remain single is a supernatural endowment given only to MEN (I believe, in itinerant ministries). Elderly widows who have born and brought up children are an exception (in that they can choose to remain unmarried).

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