One Day Off

So you want the day off? Let's take a look at what you're asking for leave :-

There are 365 days per year available for work.
There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days
off per week, leaving 261 days available for work.

Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you
have used up 170 days, leaving 91 days available for work.

Since you spend 30 mins each day for coffee breaks and
that accounts for 23 days each year, this leaves only 68 days available.

With 1 hour lunch periods each day, you have used up another
46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work.

You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves
you 20 days available for work.

We offer you 5 holidays per year, so your available
working days is down to 15.

We generously give you 14 days vacation leave per year,
which leaves you only 1 day available for work.

And you want to take the day off ?!!

Politics in the cow sense :

Democracy

You have two cows. Everyone is welcome to milk them for a price.

Communism

You have two cows. Give both to the government and get back the milk.

Socialism

You have two cows. Give one to your neighbour and keep one yourself.

Capitalism

You have two cows. Sell one and get a bull.

Nazism

You have two cows. The government shoots you and take both cows.

Fascism

You have two cows. Give the milk to the government and the government sells the milk back to you.

Maoism

You have two cows. How come you have the cows?

Idealism

You have two cows. Are there any better?

Crazism

You have two cows. You are one and your wife is the other!