HUMOR Digest - 17 Jun 1997 to 18 Jun 1997

Date: Tue, 17 Jun 1997 03:31:50 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Sports

To me, a well adjusted man is one who can play golf, tennis, poker and chess as if they were games.

You often forget that visitors from other countries might not even understand the game of baseball. I took a British visitor to see an Oriole game in Baltimore. Although I was careful to keep him informed of what was happening and why, I will confess that I got caught up in the game when we got the bases loaded.

"I Say ! Why is the crowd cheering so madly with each and every toss of the ball ?" he asked.

Embarrassed that I hadn't explained, I quickly said, "Well, we're in a great position to score some runs. We have a man on every base."

"But..." he countered, "So has the other team !"

A sports commentator, trying to interest women in boxing, wanted to make them feel this could be their sport too. He started off the broadcast with these immortal words: "Hi there fight fans and fannies."

After getting creamed terribly, I had honestly put forth a pretty sad performance in a mixed doubles match. All of us walked to a near-by umbrella table and sat down.

I was seeking a way to save face. So far, no one had said a word. I took a sip of my drink and made an initial effort to lighten the moment saying, "Funny game... Tennis."

My partner, more than a little put off by my poor playing, said sourly, "It isn't meant to be !"

A buddy of mine, a true golfing nut, really hates to have his wife along in any foursome. Forced to ask her one day, she agreed. As she was about to tee off, she turned to him and said, "Be sure to tell me if you notice anything I'm doing right."

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