HUMOR Digest - 6 Jul 1997 to 7 Jul 1997

Date: Sun, 6 Jul 1997 04:11:18 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: The 90's

It was bound to happen. These days with all the emphasis on one's physical fitness, a new organization has sprung up called "Athletics Anonymous."

When you get the urge to play golf, tennis, go power walking or bicycle riding (or anything else involving a type of physical activity), they send someone over to drink with you until the urge passes.

Even in the 90's, there are still more important things than money.
Unfortunately, they won't date you if you don't have any.

The unemployed Yuppie engineer came home dejectedly following yet another day of fruitless job-hunting. He found his wife lying on the bed, her clothes torn off, and she was crying hysterically.

"Good Lord !" he yelled, "Who did this to you ?"

"Oh darling, I tried to fight him off. He came here looking for you and found me alone and defenseless."

"WHO ??? Who did this awful thing ??? I'll kill him !!!"

"Your job placement counselor from NorthAmerican Defense Inc."

"My counselor ???" he said, his face brightening. "Did he say whether he'd found me a job or not ?"

The advance proofs of a cookbook for hopheads recently came out. The wildest recipe is for a salad.

You cut up lettuce, tomatoes, green peppers and cucumbers; then you add a dash of cocaine and the salad tosses itself.

I'm afraid these days Americans are still obsessed with a youthful appearance. My wife wanted a face lift. The surgeon advised her that he couldn't do that, so, they lowered her body.

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