HUMOR Digest - 14 Jul 1997 to 15 Jul 1997

Date: Mon, 14 Jul 1997 03:13:48 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Female Wit

Having had one too many, a bar drinker was beginning to display an ugly side. An unescorted female sat down beside him and he whispered to her, "Hey ! How about it babe ? You and me ?"

As she got up to move, he said loudly, "Honey, you sure look like you could use the money, but I don't have an extra two dollars."

She looked back and replied just as loudly, "What makes you think I charge by the inch ?"

The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job.

"Look Miss," said the foreman, "have you any actual experience in picking lemons ?"

"Well... as a matter if fact, Yes !" she replied. "I've been divorced three times."

The two female teens were discussing a news article concerning gasoline fumes causing impotence in the male.

"Aren't you worried about Tommy's new job at the gas station ? Those fumes could cause him to lose the lead in his pencil."

"Doesn't matter." giggled the other girl. "He doesn't do all my writing anyway."

The exhibitionist flashed the woman on the street and said, "I wantta get in your grove with this baby."

"How very quaint." she said. "Yes, it does indeed remind one of the old time phonograph needle."

Getting nowhere fast, the guy tried an old line on the girl: "Besides... I'll bet we could make beautiful music together."

"Well sure," she replied, "provided your taste runs to 'The Minute Waltz'."

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