HUMOR Digest - 18 Jul 1997 to 19 Jul 1997

Date: Fri, 18 Jul 1997 03:06:17 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: High Finance

Two stockbrokers went to lunch. One looked at the other and said, "Let's relax while we eat and talk about something other than the market or any kind of business at all."

"Good idea Sam. Let's talk about women."

"OK -- common or preferred ?"

With apologies to Mr. Roosevelt, good advice for young investor of today is, "Walk softly, but carry a big portfolio."

The story goes that Bill Gates made a billion dollars in a single week on his investments. When asked if he would reinvest the money back into MicroSoft, he said, "Well... I guess so. But remember a billion dollars doesn't go as far as it used to."

The Yuppette had married a stockbroker. When asked how they met, she replied, "Oh, we were introduced by a mutual fund."

The young son of a financial advisor was asked by his kindergarten teacher if he knew the names of the seasons.

"Sure !" he earnestly replied. "Busy and slack."

The American couple were standing staring at Rome's Trevi Fountain: "You know Frank, you're probably the first person to toss a coin in and wish for stabilization of the international wool market."

Wall street beggar to businessman: "You see sir, my Federal Grant is contingent on my ability to raise matching funds in the private sector."

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