HUMOR Digest - 19 Jul 1997 to 20 Jul 1997

Date: Sat, 19 Jul 1997 03:27:52 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Technique is Everything

The Socialite telephoned her son-in-law and was berating him for the rumors she'd heard about his affair with a typist who worked for him. "You obviously don't appreciate the difference between a woman of breeding and position and a cheap little office slut."

The man replied, "And you my dear Mother Johnson obviously don't appreciate the difference between dignified acquiescence and true enthusiastic cooperation."

"There is great dissatisfaction among the females who are being interviewed by His Serene Highness for vacancies in the Sultan's harem." a eunuch informed the Grand Vizier.

"Why exactly are the unworthy ones bitching ?"

"They complain that many are balled, but few are chosen."

"When I was a teen, my Mother always told me to think of my future husband's penis as a mighty oak from which little acorns would fall." the woman confided to her neighbor.

"But I tell ya, Marge, when I see my Herman's supposed erection, I always feel like jumping on it while yelling 'Bonsai' !"

"Darling," murmured the girl to her boyfriend, "when did you first realize that you were in love with me ?"

"Well, I suppose..." whispered the man tenderly, "it was when I started getting angry with all the other guys in the office who said you were a lousy lay."

"It was just a simple misunderstanding your honor." testified the man charged with indecent exposure.

"Explain that statement !" harrumphed the Judge.

"Well, you see, this girl and I were drinking in a bar & she asked me what I wanted most in a woman -- so I showed her."

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