HUMOR Digest - 6 Oct 1997 to 7 Oct 1997

Date: Mon, 6 Oct 1997 03:52:29 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Navy Pilot Training

I can still remember the coolest instructor from my Navy days. He liked plain talk. Teaching combat fighting to a bunch of young jock pilots-to-be ain't easy.

This guy opened his course by saying: "Remember the last time you got to make love to a woman ? Well, what you did to get her in bed in the first place was strategy. What you did once you got her there gentlemen... was tactics."

(Odd, I seem to remember the difference to this very day)

Some instructors though think questions a waste of precious time. I however always liked to be clear on what was taught. I could tell this one seasoned old pilot took a great dislike to me & my queries. Like it or not, all pilots have to learn crash landing techniques. I had a technical question on a "wheels up" landing.

The instructor replied, "Moore, in your case, I strongly recommend the trial and error method."

Our Flight Commander was an awesome authority figure. You can well imagine how nervous I was to find him in an intramural bowling event.

Somehow, I managed to use his bowling ball, smoke two cigarettes he had lighted and drink at least one of his beers.

Finally he thundered, "Young man, it's a damn good thing you don't know where I live !"

Naturally everyone in the service hopes for promotion. One of our instructors said, "Before any of you ask why I've been teaching this same course for 12 years, many years ago, I had an argument with an Admiral -- and I won !"

At the conclusion of one maintenance training course, the Chief took out his wallet, and counted the money. "Gentlemen," he said "today I retire after 27 years. When I joined the Navy, I had 20 dollars. Today, I have 19. Where else could you stay all that time for only a dollar ?"

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