HUMOR Digest - 9 Nov 1997 to 10 Nov 1997

Date: Sun, 9 Nov 1997 04:04:18 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: The Apt Response

I can't say I've ever gotten a shave from a barber, but I've seen others who have. I was in a shop once, and an obviously new barber nicked a customer several times while giving him a shave.

The new man, in an effort to smooth things over asked solicitously, "Do you want your head wrapped in a hot towel ?"

"No thanks." said the customer. "I'll carry it home under my arm."

One of my cardiologists's partners has no patience at all with people who try to wangle free medical advice. "Oh, Dr. Hantman," said the dowager at a party, "if a patient came to you with (such and such a symptom), what would you recommend ?"

"Well..." the good doctor replied, "First of all, I'd recommend very strongly that they make an appointment to come see me at the office."

We were once at a cook-out at Ray and Gina's, two good neighbors of ours. Ray came up with an exceeding clever and funny comeback to something one of the other neighbors had said.

After the laughter died down, I said, "I wish I'd have said that."

Ray, knowing my love of collecting jokes and using them said, "You will Jim, you will."

My ego can indeed survive getting trounced at tennis, even by a fem. Of course, it helps that she was a semi-pro player at the time, and a beautiful woman, with a terrific figure to boot. After I had collapsed on the bench, she said, "I still need to improve my form and speed."

"Tina," I mouthed between gasps, "if your 'form' improves any more, you're gonna need all the speed you can muster."

Asked how it felt to attend the dedication of his own statue, the local politician said, "Well... somehow... you begin to feel quite differently about pigeons."

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