HUMOR Digest - 26 Jan 1998 to 27 Jan 1998

Date: Mon, 26 Jan 1998 03:45:21 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: The Military

During the 60's, when the draft law could induct most young men into military service, the announcement was made that very few (if any) married men would be drafted, war or not.

One Army recruiting office fought back by posting a sign: "Better two years than life".

Enlistment officer to recruit: "And another advantage in making a career of the Army is that you avoid the constant worry of being called-up into the service."

The instructor in a basic-training course asked a recruit what he would do if he saw a figure crawling toward his post while on assigned guard duty.

"Why, I'd help the Officer to his quarters." said the recruit.

Drill Sergeant to recruit: "Wipe that opinion off your face !"

Modern warfare is a complicated business, but during the Civil War things were much simpler. An Arkansas Colonel, with no real formal military training, had his own method of command for his cavalry troop.

For example, to get the men on their horses:
His first command was: "Prepare to git on your critters."
This was closely followed by: "Git !"

During the Vietnam war in the US, feelings ran high both for and against the war. In one school district, all fifth graders were assigned to write a letter to "Any Marine, Vietnam".

When the hundreds of letters were delivered, one Marine opened his and found the salutation: "Dear War Victim".

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