HUMOR Digest - 4 Oct 1998 to 5 Oct 1998

Date: Sun, 4 Oct 1998 02:36:44 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Kids and Grandkids

Administrative Note:
     In the September 30 Digest, two posts titled "Wanna Date My Daughter" appeared.
The author of this piece was Bruce Cameron in his "Cameron Column #76" [www.wbrucecameron.com]
     Any member noticing material posted without proper credit or the original source is asked to write the contributor and cc: the ListOwner, Jay Harman [jay_harman@hotmail.com]

In the "Not so Reassuring Phone Call" Department this week, a Mother received a call from her son at 1:00 a.m. "Don't worry Ma, I'm perfectly safe -- I'm in jail."

Life can be tuff for teens in Baltimore. One teen was questioned by a friend if he wasn't worried for his own safety "hanging out" late at nite.

He replied, "Nah. Dad said that if I see a gunfight, get into it so's I won't be shot as a bystander."

A mother was lecturing her son on good living: "Don't smoke, drink or do drugs. Eat properly and sensibly. Doing otherwise has killed more people than all the wars we've ever had."

The boy thinks this all over for a minute or two, then asks, "Ma, then what kills all the people who live right ?"

As y'all know, olives are an acquired taste. At a picnic here one time, my Grandson JimJr JrJr was watching me pop a few olives. He tried one and promptly spit it out.

Then he saw me pop several more. He tried again with negative results.

This time though he complained loudly to Mrs JimJr, "Mom-Mom, Pop-Pop is getting all the good ones !"

A Yuppette ducked into an exclusive (no kids allowed) Columbia dress shop leaving her five-year-old son in charge of his year old sister. When she finally emerged, there was her son pushing a different stroller; her daughter nowhere in sight.

"Daniel ? What are you doing ?" she said. "That's not your sister !!!"

"Shhhhh, Mother." he replied. "This is a much better stroller."

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