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HUMOR Digest - 26 Nov 1998 to 27 Nov 1998
Date: Thu, 26 Nov 1998 03:35:34 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Thanksgiving Day
Coexistence is probably best defined as what the farmer does with the turkey until Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving is a day in which Americans eat, drink and be merry;
for tomorrow, they diet.
Mrs JimJr always attaches a lot of religion to our Thanksgiving celebration.
At least that's what I've always thought her intent was -- I mean... with all those burnt offerings and all.
I'm not saying Mrs JimJr's turkey gravy is thick, but when I stir it, three people have to hold the dining room table in place to prevent it from spinning around.
One of the treats for me on Thanksgiving is real cider. A local farmer was sold out though. He asked how much I wanted and I told him just a couple of gallons.
He said, "Young fella, damn if I'll ruin a whole apple just to make you 2 gallons of cider."
Traditionally in the US, Thanksgiving was the beginning of the Christmas shopping season. These days, the merchants start the "Holiday Season" around Halloween.
If this trend continues, instead of welcoming Santa during the Thanksgiving Day parade, he'll be the bearded fat guy in swim trucks on the 4th of July.
When ya think about it, Thanksgiving is an ideal holiday for us guys. Here, at the Moore homestead, Mrs JimJr is in the kitchen all day and not bothering me.
When the family and guests arrive, all the guys can lay around, drink and watch football; eat dinner like horses and not be nagged; then back to still more drinking and football.
Why can't we have Thanksgiving once a month ?
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