HUMOR Digest - 6 Feb 1999 to 7 Feb 1999

Date: Sat, 6 Feb 1999 03:19:42 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Update: Ontario Canada

It's very easy for the natives to spot a tourist in Ontario.
Anyone who uses correct English is labeled as a foreigner.

I kid you not -- Ontario really has a political party named the "Progressive Conservatives".
I guess their opposition are the "Retrogressive Liberals" -- right ?

Anyone who thinks the politicians in their homeland are too finicky:
Ontario's current Prime Minister even demanded a recount of the Thousand Islands.

A backwoodsman from Opasquia Ontario claims to have gone without water for 6 days.
I think I get the same waiter he does at a French restaurant in Columbia Maryland.

Not to be outdone with the changing times all around them, the muggers in Toronto have started accepting credit cards. And worse... they demand two forms of identification.

About 90% of Ontario's population live in the southern 10% of the province; which makes the northern woods pretty much non-governable.

But that's probably just a rumor started by the disgruntled neo-French who live there.

Then there was the young lady who transferred from Carleton University in Ottawa to the more placid Lakehead University in Thunder Bay and got homesick.

Twice a week, she paid male students to come by her room and expose themselves.

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